If That's What You Want
by A-Simple-Rainbow
Summary: Kurt Hummel has a shot at being Captain for the Slytherin Quidditch team if only he agrees to seduce and take Hufflepuff's star Keeper out of the picture before the first big game. And as luck would have it, Blaine Anderson has overcome many obstacles in his life, only to come out on top, but one he has never managed to get past...? His completely hopeless crush on Kurt Hummel.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue – When Kurt Screwed Up, Even Though He Really Didn't**

It had been three hours. At least three hours since the game had started (probably more, lets be honest). The first hour had been frustrating, to say the least… Hufflepuff scoring endlessly, while Slytherin kept its staggering score of zero points. They tried, oh they tried, but nothing got past that fucking new Keeper, and every rebound maneuver was another ten points for Hufflepuff because apparently Lauren Zizes had forgotten all her skills and what a Keeper's supposed to do.

All the while Kurt had been frantically searching for the Snitch. Five minutes in he'd understood this game could only be won if the Snitch was caught early. But damn, Marley Rose had taken to following him around, and if he even so much as sneezed she was cutting him off and making sure he didn't catch the snitch. She stalled and it worked.

An hour into the game Hufflepuff had scored its sixteenth goal and Marley had finally left him on his own and gone to look for the Snitch herself. She knew she didn't stand a chance, of course, she knew Kurt would catch it easily. But she also knew that Kurt had to wait for a miraculous turn in score.

Two hours into the game and it was just plain humiliating.

Three hours and it was a bloodbath.

Slytherin was not even close to catching up and Kurt had explicit orders not to catch the snitch until that happened. Jesse St. James was Captain and his philosophy was quite literally "all or nothing". Kurt was pretty sure that the only thing that philosophy was earning them right then was a staggering defeat and no chance in hell they'd even get second place to Hufflepuff.

Kurt watched as Jesse St. James made a particularly fast and aggressive offensive towards the Hufflepuff goal posts. He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping to every deity he didn't believe in that it would go in and they'd have a measly ten points.

It didn't.

That's also when it happened. Marley zoomed right past him, straight at something, and he looked and there it was, in all its miniscule, golden glory, the Snitch.

As he took off, speeding to the best of his and his broom's abilities, he could barely catch Jesse's booming voice, "STALL!"

But it was too late, there was no stalling unless he committed a foul, and that was another ten points to Hufflepuff, and fuck it, Jesse was wrong, second place _was_ better than fourth and humiliated. Wasn't it better to lose by a margin of seventy points then a margin of three hundred and seventy? He took in a deep breath as his hand curled around the golden snitch.

It was instantaneous. Cheers erupting from the Hufflepuff stands and groans from the Slytherin. Kurt could feel Jesse's glare at the back of his neck. He looked anywhere else as he darted to the ground and hopped off his broom, Snitch fighting his hold.

From the corner of his eye he saw the canary yellow robes of Hufflepuff's wonder-Keeper as the boy landed smoothly on the grass. He couldn't help looking at him.

With a smirk, if there ever was one on a fucking _Hufflepuff_, Blaine Anderson shot him a thumbs-up and Kurt flipped him off. Anderson laughed and winked and Kurt groaned and turned around.

**Part 1, With the very strange proposition**

"I'm sure you'd be Captain this year if you hadn't thrown the game last year." Rachel points out, as if she hadn't spent the entire previous year in seething jealousy over Jesse clearly never considering her for captainship. As if she'd really ever had Kurt's back on this subject. "Besides, it's okay, you can be Captain next year."

Kurt quirks an eyebrow, "Fat chance."

"Why would you say that?" She shrugs, and there's thinly veiled hope there that he's going to say it's because she deserves it.

"Everyone knows Smythe hates me." He points out.

Before Rachel can say anything, there's a voice from the compartment door, "I've always thought it was unresolved sexual tension." Santana drawls, draped over the door, "May I join you two losers? Everywhere else is full of even worse losers."

"Everywhere else is full of people who told you no." Kurt sighs back, but gestures for her to sit down.

"Same thing, isn't it?" she smirks as she levitates her luggage into place.

"_Hello_, Santana." Rachel says pointedly and the other two frown at her, before Santana rolls her eyes and sits down. They're quickly joined by Kitty Wilde, a fifth year and surprisingly good beater for their house team, and her best friend Sugar Motta, before the Hogwarts Express whistles its final warning and the engines screech to life.

"Sixth year…" Rachel mutters, "Here we go."

"Ugh." Kitty groans, "Fifth year… _OWL_'s…!"

"It's not that hard." Kurt shrugs, "They make it sound worse than it is. Just keep on top of things and don't leave the studying to the last minute."

"He's insane. He's lying. It's hell." Santana tells them, just as the compartment door is flung open.

"Oh!" Blaine Anderson is standing there in all his idiotic glory, wide eyed and cringing, "Wrong compartment. Sorry, guys." He makes to close the door, too fast for even Santana to think of something horrible to say, before he turns back and scrunches up his nose in a way that some would describe as adorable, but definitely not Kurt, "Any of you know where the Prefect's meeting is supposed to be?"

Kurt notices the shiny new badge on Anderson's chest. On Anderson's already impeccably uniformed chest.

He sighs, and digs in his pocket for his own Prefect badge, "I guess we should get going, Rach." With the most sardonic smile he can muster he says, "Come with us, Anderson."

"Thanks."

Kurt wants to tell him he's really not doing him any favors, but he just keeps his mouth shut and his glare murderous.

Sitting through the start of the year Prefect meeting is just as boring the second time around. Maybe more. He's no longer enchanted by the idea of having been chosen as the best Slytherin boy in his year, or even the idea of getting to roam the halls after curfew, or of the semblance of authority it's supposed to carry… It's just another responsibility. It's not even like he gets a free pass to the library's restricted section.

He spaces out while the Head Boy, Mike Chang, explains to the newbies what the job is all about, and tunes back in just in time to get his patrol schedule, and be dismissed.

Thankfully, the rest of the ride is fairly pleasant, spent with Rachel, Santana and Kitty debating new strategies for this year, and thinking of new ways to improve practice. Not that it matters much of course. The Captainship went to Smythe, and there's a zero per cent chance he'll listen to other people's ideas and opinions.

They get dressed barely more than five minutes before the train stops, which means they're hurrying trying to catch a good, empty carriage, but to no avail. And of course… of course.

"Oh! Hey guys." Blaine Anderson smiles – Kurt's not entirely sure if it's sarcastic or genuine, but… we're talking about a Hufflepuff here, are we not? Sam Evans has his feet on the seat opposite him, and Anderson bats them away discreetly. Begrudgingly Kurt nods in acknowledgment before he sits down.

"Figures…" Santana drawls, crossing her arms over her chest.

Evans is tucking his chin into his collar, clearly masking his amusement, and Anderson's lips are quirked up ever so slightly.

"For what is worth, Hummel," Anderson says after two minutes of excruciatingly awkward silence, "I actually thought what you did last year at the game was the right thing to do."

"Yes, because you won." Kurt rolls his eyes and doesn't even try to hide his annoyance. He'd been mocked enough for what happened over the last few weeks of last year.

"No, because you got to keep your dignity." Anderson shrugs.

There's a moment of silence. Kurt can't tell if he's taunting him or genuinely agreeing with his actions.

"It's not like I need the approval of some yellow potato."

There's a general guffaw from the girls, and Kurt feels a little warmer at that. When he looks back to the boy, though, Anderson is grinning and chuckling.

"Wow! That's one I hadn't heard before… Yellow potato!" He says it like he's weighing the words on his tongue, before he shrugs and nods with the easiest, most unaffected smile, "Yup, I like it. It's a good one. Kudos!"

Somehow that's all it takes to wipe the smug smirks off the girls' faces and Kurt can't help scowling.

The rest of the way to the castle is spent in absolute, cold silence. Kurt and the girls stare intently out the window, while Anderson and Evans exchange looks and expressions Kurt can't really see because he'd rather die than be caught staring. Evans puts his feet up on Anderson's lap. Anderson pushes them off. Evans puts them on again, and Anderson lets them be.

The minute that the carriage pulls to a halt they're scrambling off. Kurt's yards away by the time the two Hufflepuff boys are hopping off the carriage and their loud laughter trails after him.

He ignores the uncomfortable feeling that sound leaves in his stomach, and makes his way to the castle, taking two steps at a time and crossing the Entrance Hall quickly. He sits down where he's always sat dawn, flanked by Rachel and Santana, as they patiently wait for the first years to arrive. Kurt notices Sebastian Smythe a little ways away – the captain's badge on his chest looks disgustingly shiny.

Kurt had been hoping that the summer holidays would've been enough time for people to forget his faux pas at the game, but apparently – if the train ride wasn't enough evidence – the way that Smythe smirks when their eyes meet proves him entirely wrong. Even now, as people make their way to their seats, there are a few mouthed off "Caught a lot of snitches this summer, Hummel?" or "Still having trouble with premature endings?".

He rolls his eyes at each one and pretends not to be bothered.

He grins as he spots Mercedes on the other end of the hall, and she waves cheerfully back. Next to her is Finn, also waving, also cheerful. Kurt frowns and waves back with a sarcastic smile. They'd last seen each other while boarding the train after saying goodbye to their _married _parents and having spent the summer in the same house.

"Weird guy, your brother." Santana notes.

"_Step_brother." Kurt corrects her. He doesn't mention that this last couple of months they actually spent a good deal of time playing one-on-one quidditch, playing wizard's chess (the easiest ego boost Kurt has ever found), and… well, having fun. Together.

Their parents' marriage is still fresh and Kurt's not entirely ready to let go of his resentment, but he can't deny it was a good summer. He hadn't seen his dad this happy in a long time; and Carole is a good woman, without a doubt. Even if her son is a giant idiot (not really, though).

"Right…" Santana nods, while Rachel open and closes her mouth as if she's trying to keep herself from asking something.

"They broke up." Kurt informs her.

"What?"

"You're _that _transparent." He tells her, smiling before he can help himself. When she blushes, he chuckles. It's kind of cute, honestly, how big a crush Rachel has on Finn. "They broke up over the summer. Finn is a free man. You may pursue." He knocks their shoulders together and adds, "Not that that was ever stopping you."

She blushes deeper and bites her lip, and he laughs harder.

Watching the sorting ceremony has become less and less exciting each year, but Kurt makes the effort to applaud energetically each time some eleven-year-old kid joins their table.

He spends the entire meal catching up with everyone else – or rather, he lets Rachel and Santana do most of the talking and enjoys listening to everyone's news, Lauren Zizes always has some… colorful stories (this year featuring Gryffindor's one and only Noah Puckerman). Thankfully they've learned not to sit close to the first years, having outgrown the naive enthusiasm for being seen as the wise ones long ago, and preferring to spend their meal having fun together rather than quenching the excitement and curiosity of eleven year old kids.

After the Headmaster, Professor Figgins, has given his usual speech, equal parts bizarre and wrong, they head out to their first night back in the dorms. Kurt and Rachel trail after the group of little first years, making sure the new Prefects don't screw anything up. He takes the opportunity to flick his wand and make sure that everyone's ties are properly tied – Rachel gives him an amused look.

-x-

At breakfast the next day, Kurt twitches his nose at his newly received timetable. He starts the day with Double Potions with Gryffindor. It's not so bad because it's Gryffindor, so he'll be able to chat with Mercedes and congratulate her for being made Quidditch Captain, as well as spend some time with Finn, maybe. But on the other hand it's Double Potions. With Professor Sylvester.

He still can't decide if he likes her – he imagines he'll graduate Hogwarts still undecided – even though he's pretty sure _she _likes him. At first he was adamant she hated him, because of all the nicknames, but then he noticed that everyone had nicknames and his were the only ones that, in a far away world, if you needed glasses and weren't wearing them, could be perceived as endearing. Also, she was instrumental in getting Karofsky expelled in the beginning of last year. Professor Beiste and Professor Pillsburry were sympathetic and did their best to keep him at bay and punish him severely, but ultimately it was Professor Sylvester who was able to make that final step. Rumor had it she threatened Figgins – no one knew what the threat consisted of, but 99% of the students believe it happened.

Kurt would always be grateful for that. But this morning he just really didn't want to endure a double lesson with the intensity of that woman.

He was trying to remember why he even decided to continue with Potions when someone dropped to the seat in front of him, yanking the parchment out of his hands.

"Hummel."

"Smythe." Kurt sighs, bringing his eyes up to his dearest Captain's face.

"Guess who's going to have practice Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings?"

Kurt frowned, "Us…?"

"Right on." Sebastian nods with a semi-solemn expression and Kurt wrinkles his nose in distaste.

"Whatever happened to morning practices so no one will be spying on us?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow.

"Educated guess…?" Sebastian prompts looking like there's a big dump of horseshit right under his nose.

"Hufflepuff?"

"Chang got the first pick at the time slots, so of course he gets Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday morning."

"Okay… but why don't we have Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, then?"

Sebastian falters for a moment, "Listen it's not my fault they were all there waaay before the arranged time, I-"

"You overslept and were last to choose." Kurt deadpans.

"That's not what matters right now."

Kurt sighs and checks his watch, "Do tell. What matters?"

"So, our first game this year is with Hufflepuff. October 5th. We have got to win it, cuz if we take another beating like last time we might as well kiss the Cup goodbye – cuz you know they're gonna beat everyone else, too."

"Alright. So, we practice harder and we get first and second years to guard the pitch and make sure no one's spying on us."

"Like that would do us any good. No… I got something else in mind."

"You want to find a way to get us to switch timeslots with them?" Kurt asks, confused and frustrated by Sebastian beating around the bush.

"They could have the worst time slots and they'd still be the team to beat while they have Anderson as their Keeper. Unless you get the Snitch in time, which, apparently is not something I can put my money on,-"

"Or maybe you could just do your jobs and score goals."

"You don't get it." Sebastian dismisses his annoyance at once before he keeps going, "Also Zizes makes us look pathetic." Kurt scrunches his nose in agreement – it's not that she's a bad keeper, it's just that when you put her next to Anderson the difference is abysmal, "So it really doesn't matter _when_ they practice. What matters is taking the golden boy out of the picture. Their chasers are good, but we're pretty evenly matched, so with him gone, we can make do until you get the Snitch, because you're at least better than that Marley girl."

"Oh-kay…" Kurt frowns, "Are you suggesting we injure him before the game or something? Because I'm pretty sure we'd be prime suspects and probably disqualified for that…"

"Hummel…" Smythe sighs, a mischievous smile taking over his features, "You know what I recently realized has been lacking from my approach to life?" Kurt doesn't answer any of the infinite list of possibilities he could supply at a moment's notice, he just checks his watch again and quirks an annoyed eyebrow, "Subtlety."

"Sure. I don't disagree so far. Get on with it please. I got double potions so I really can't be late."

"You want to be Captain next year, right?"

Kurt can't help but be surprised at that. He always thought he'd never give him a passing thought for the position – Santana had always been the obvious choice, at least as far as Smythe was concerned. "Yes."

"Well, here's your chance to strike a deal with me. You get Anderson out of the game and I'll leave a very thorough and heartfelt recommendation for you as Captain. And you know that's the only thing that matters."

"How do you suppose I do that without risking disqualification, detention or expulsion myself?"

Sebastian shrugs, "He's gay, he's not half bad – in fact he's not even a twelfth bad –, he probably believes in things like true love and romance, he screams virgin, there's plenty of time before the game…"

Kurt's jaw drops in horror (or maybe it drops because at least his body knows he should be horrified at the mere suggestion of it) "You're suggesting I…"

"Seduce him. Make him fall in love with you. Break his heart on the eve of the game. Render him useless…?" Sebastian shrugs casually with a smirk, "If that's what you think it'll take."

He doesn't bother reminding Sebastian that _Kurt_ believes in true love and romance, and that he_ is_ a virgin. He just shakes his head, "Absolutely not."

"What's the matter, afraid of falling in love…?"

"With someone who had to repeat the year?" Kurt scoffs, "No."

"So there you go." Sebastian laughs heartily, "He's the reason you were the laughing stock last year, and probably all of summer, and a little bit still this year…"

Kurt bites his tongue and doesn't say that the whole team should've been the laughing stock instead of just egging everything on and redirecting it all towards him.

"No."

"Think about it and get back to me." Sebastian smiles, too much sugar and not enough honesty, "Remember: no love, no badge." He adds as he stands up and leaves.

Kurt is left staring after him, and completely rooted to his place. It's not until Rachel comes to find him and ask him if he's not coming to class that he manages to somewhat snap out of it and get moving.

If he could just stop thinking about it, his day would've ben a pretty good day. Potions had the promise of actually interesting potions, and sitting next to Mercedes was always pretty cool. There wasn't a lot for them to catch up on, because they were always careful to keep in touch over the summer, but there are always little details worth mentioning now.

He teases her about her Captain badge, and she smiles a little sad and tells him it might actually have been a parting gift from Anthony, last year's Captain. They'd been an item, but he'd been a seventh year and apparently, she tells him, he'd waited until the very end of Summer to tell her about an opportunity abroad, and that he didn't want to do long distance.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he tells her, "But if you got the badge it's because you earned it."

Afterwards he ignores Sebastian's questioning looks throughout lunch, and heads out to Charms, with Ravenclaw as fast as he can. Professor Tibideaux isn't one to waste time, everyone knows, but still they can't help groaning as she dives head first into class, making sure to give them plenty of homework. Kurt doesn't mind it too much – he enjoys Charms for the most part. It may not be Transfiguration, but it's better than Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology which, thank god, he doesn't have anymore.

Also, it's the second year he has Charm with the Ravenclaws and it's actually funny to share this particular class with them, because Professor Tibideaux is their head of house and always very eager to show everyone that only means extra expectations for_ them_. The way the Ravenclaw students strive for correct answers and points only to have her always shooting back that one bit extra of information that should have been said and not attribute them the points is fairly amusing. Some of them, the more eager to please and impress, like Tina Cohen-Chang and Artie Abrams often times leave the classroom red faced and sweating.

Afterwards he has Ancient Runes with the small scatter of students that chose the subject, every house together. It's nice and peaceful.

So, all in all, a perfectly good first day back to school.

All the while, though, he can't stop thinking about Sebastian's insane proposal. Tina Cohen-Chang is seated in front of him, in Runes, and Kurt's heart is racing because he thinks that maybe somehow Chang has developed the ability to read minds and knows that the deepest, most obscure parts of Kurt are actually considering messing with Anderson's head just to get ahead in Quidditch. Each time the girl sighs or runs a hand through her hair Kurt think she's just about to shoot out of her chair and make her way to Professor Beiste to tell her all about how Kurt wants to purposefully break her friend's heart.

Kurt had no idea his sanity was so fragile.

He rolls his eyes. He's not gonna do it. He might not be crazy about Anderson, but he'd never be that person. The person to hurt someone like that on purpose.

"So, did you practice your math this summer?" Hunter, a 7th year Slytherin, smirked just as Kurt made his way inside the common room, to change clothes before practice, "So you know how much one hundred and fifty really is?"

Kurt clenches his jaw and hurries to his dorm.

-x-

Practice is grueling because apparently Smythe thinks that exhausting them into hating Quidditch is a good tactic to win, and when Kurt leaves he's drenched in sweat and dragging his feet. He doesn't do it often, but if there was ever a time to use the Prefect's bathroom, this would be it. He'll probably fall asleep in the warm water and miss dinner, but it'll be completely worth it.

He can practically smell the salts he's gonna use when he turns the corner and Blaine Fucking Anderson himself is walking calmly with a bathrobe and neatly folded clean clothes in his hands, towards the door.

Blaine notices him too, and he looks a little startled for a second, "Oh, hi!"

Kurt gives him a strained smile. Sighs, and stops. "Nevermind…" he mutters, as he starts to turn around.

"No, wait!" Blaine calls, "I… It's… You had practice right now, right?"

"Were you spying?" Kurt arches an eyebrow.

Blaine frowns, his easy smile fading a little, "What? No. I… Mike told me how the meeting went, for the timeslots. I actually think it's unfair you guys got to pick last, just because Smythe got there last. You should've picked second, because your_ team_ came in second last year."

Kurt doesn't really know what to respond to that, so instead he points to the bathroom door, "So…?"

"Oh! You take it! You had practice, you must be exhausted. I can just go take a shower and experiment the new perk some other time." Oh, right, Blaine had just been made a Prefect, "Being a Prefect is no not as cool as I thought it would be, but this might actually make up for it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Kurt shrugs.

"I mean, they could at least give us unlimited access to Restricted Section books…"

"I…" Kurt frowns a little taken a back at that. He manages to recover quickly, "You shouldn't worry, I've checked it out, I don't think there are any books there about growing a personality, or anything."

Blaine's expression darkens at once, "Why do you have to be like this? What did I even do to you? Is a stupid game that important to you?"

Kurt bites his tongue when his first instinct is to say that Yes, a stupid game is really that important to him when it makes him the laughing stock of the whole school. "I apologize," he shrugs, "I guess I'm just threatened by overall lack of backbone and self-respect. I'm afraid it's contagious, you see?"

"What?"

"If you manage to be nice to me even after what I called y-"

"I'm _polite_. That doesn't mean I don't have a backbone."

Kurt scrunches his nose, "You say polite, I say _potahto_." He smirks, "See what I did there?"

Blaine gives him a scathing look and shakes his head. "Fine. Be that way."

"Uhh. Feisty."

"You don't know me." Blaine tells him in a tone that's mostly angry, with indentations of sadness or exhaustion, "You have no idea who I am."

"Are you threatening me?"

Anderson frowns at him and rolls his eyes, "No. I'm saying you're an asshole making assumptions about me when you don't know _squat_."

And then, he does something that really, definitely surprises Kurt. Instead of stalking off he mutters "breeze", yanks the bathroom door open and slams it closed in Kurt's face.

"Oh…"

Well… he won't be missing dinner after all.

As he makes his way back to the Slytherin dorms, he can't help but feel some sort of nagging sensation in his stomach, and he can't quite make out what it is. Could it possibly be remorse? It's not like Kurt has anything to be remorseful of, is it? He's not doing Smythe's bidding, so he literally has nothing to be remorseful of – he's making the right choice; the good guy choice. In fact, if you thought about it, by insulting Anderson he'd just been making sure to do the opposite of what Smythe wanted him to. He's going the extra mile in the opposite direction, some might say. If anything, he should be feeling proud of himself. For being such a good person.

Yes, that's it. Pride. That was the funny feeling in his stomach. Pride of himself and his impeccable character.

-x-

"You look a little…" Rachel grimaces to indicate her meaning, and Kurt just drops his chin to his palm, and contemplates his options for dinner. Contrary to him, she looks fresh and relaxed after her shower. He had to take his fast if he wanted to make in time to catch any decent, warm food. If anything, it only served to make him even more stressed.

"I had a weird day." He tells her, grabbing the mashed potatoes and piling two spoonfuls onto his plate, "Pass me the chicken please."

"I mean, practice was brutal, and I'll admit I always thought Smythe had a little psycho in him… just not so much. But it wasn't that weird. I almost expected it."

"I don't mean that." Kurt mutters.

"I just… I thought today was a pretty good day, actually. As far as first days go. Usually there's always some smart ass remembering-"

"It's not that. It's specifically my issue." He shrugs and she gives him a questioning look.

"Well…?"

Kurt sighs and looks around himself. He can't exactly just start spewing off about Smythe's idea and risk somebody overhearing. But they're sitting at the far corner and there aren't many people near them – the few that are, are pretty much deep in conversation.

He leans closer and keeps his voice discreet, "Smythe thinks that we need to find a way to get Anderson out of the game. Or, better yet, get his head out of the head. So he told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I seduce and break Anderson's heart the night before the game, he'll make me Captain next year."

Her eyebrows disappear beneath her bangs in a split second. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops a little bit.

"I'm not gonna do it."

"Obviously." She breathes.

"I mean…"

"No… You shouldn't. That's…"

"Exactly."

There's a long stretch of awkward silence, where they're both failing to conceal exactly how uncertain they are about the whole thing.

"Well, let's be honest here…" Rachel says after a while, "He did singlehandedly humiliate our team. I mean, speaking as a Chaser, myself, I'd be the first to say I'd like to see him off the field. But…"

"But it's wrong."

"And whatever happened to good, old-fashioned physical pranks…?"

"Exactly! Well, I guess it's to easy to trace back to us, and we'll be disqualified."

"As opposed to traced back to you?"

"But isn't that the point? That it's so out in the open. Everyone would know we'd been dating, but as long as they don't know this was always my intention they can't actually blame me for _dating _him."

"Right, right."

"And I suppose the karmic beauty of it all would be that taking him out of the field would get them to loose, yes, but they'd be simple victims of foul play or bad luck; but making him perform badly would humiliate their team, just like we were." He reasons.

"I can see that. I can definitely see that." She nods.

"But on the other hand, everyone will think that I'm genuinely dating some Hufflepuff kid that had to repeat a year."

She frowns, "Wait. You're always on Santana's case about how we shouldn't judge based on houses, and when everyone was making fun of Anderson missing that whole year you were super angry about that, and kept reminding everyone that we had no clue what had happened, and that he was probably not retarded, because-"

"Yes. Well. Things change."

"What changed?"

"The game…?"

"Right, right." She nods, "I guess it's understandable."

"So, you think I should do it?"

She stutters and grimaces, "I… Well, probably not."

"It's not like we'd know for sure he'd be into me, anyway. I might as well just be making a fool of myself coming on to him."

"Yeah, I bet you're not even his type."

Kurt frowns, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I just… I was-"

"Nevermind. I can't do it. It's not – I can't."

"Yeah…" Rachel nods solemnly. They're silent for a good minute before Rachel leans forward and asks, "Do you think Sebastian would consider me for Captain if I did that with Finn?"

"No."

-x-

Every day that week Kurt gets up from bed feeling conflicted. No, not conflicted. There's nothing to feel conflicted about because he'd _never _do it. He'd never stoop that low. He wants to win, just like anybody else, but he wants to win on merit and talent, not on shenanigans.

He wakes up feeling weird – that's it. Feeling _weird_.

And it certainly doesn't help the way Sebastian keeps giving him meaningful looks, and pointing to his watch every time they cross ways.

Kurt keeps finding stupid muggle books on basic Math and little notes explaining how to add in his bag and even though he's pretty sure it's either Sebastian or someone paid by Sebastian to put them there, it's still getting to him. It doesn't even come close to the bullying he suffered at the hands of Karofsky, but it's enough to get him annoyed and riled up.

Friday afternoon, Transfiguration, he sits in the front row, as usual, half captivated by Professor July but still to bothered to be able to give her his full attention. She notices and squints in his direction a couple of times, and he figures he's going to have to explain himself at the end of class. Everyone knows he's her top student, so she never lets him slip anything past her.

If anything it annoys him even more that this whole thing has managed to interfere with his passion for the subject.

As she excuses them she needs only glance at him before Kurt nods. He packs up his things, but doesn't file out of class like everyone else. Instead he goes up to her desk and immediately sighs, "I'm sorry, I've had a strange week."

She studies him, "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, really. It's just… Quidditch stuff…"

She scoffs, "Hummel, I never pegged you for one of those idiots that actually think the Quidditch Cup means anything…"

"I…"

"It's fun. I was a chaser once, I get it…" she drawls and twirls her hands dismissively, "But unless you want to do it professionally I suggest you keep it in the pitch and bring your a game to class. I'd be truly disappointed if I have to give you anything less than your usual A, but I'd do it."

"No, I know… Of course…" he sighs, dropping his eyes from hers in a way he hadn't done since first year when he turned up late to her class after losing track of time doing his hair. That's when he sees it. As his eyes land on her desk, a piece of parchment pokes out with a bright red A+ branded on it.

No one gets A+ with Professor July. No one. Not Kurt, not anyone. Kurt is her best student and he's never gotten an A+.

For a moment he thinks it's his, but he hasn't had to hand in anything yet. So he looks closer and just as he reads the name atop she snatches it out and chuckles, "I see you noticed it! I hope you're not jealous."

"I…"

"I'll admit I always thought that if I was going to have an A+ it would've been yours. But I suppose Anderson would've been a close second, anyway." She looks over the essay again, a smirk gracing her features before she clicks her tongue, drops it back down and shakes her head, "Stellar…" she breathes, a little amused.

"How…? What…?"

"Do you want to read it?" Her tone is teasing at best.

"I… no."

"Okay." She shrugs and then laughs, "When you incorporate things well above NEWT level into your essays you'll get your A+, sweetie." She taps him condescendingly on the nose before taking his shoulders and turning him around, toward the door. "You can go now."

"I… Yeah… Thanks, Professor." He manages numbly as he stumbles his way outside.

"And don't you ever spend another one of my classes with your head in the Quidditch pitch!" she calls after him. He doesn't get to answer as the door closes right after himself, practically cutting off her last word.

She did it on purpose. She wanted him to see it.

Was she in on it with Sebastian, or was it just one of her fantastic pedagogical tools, to motivate him to do even better than he already did?

She couldn't be in on it. She just couldn't – she said it herself, she didn't believe in dragging Quidditch rivalries and issues onto classrooms and she didn't even watch all of the games. She could care less about it, and he doubts she'd do this just to nudge him in the _wrong _direction.

But nudge she did.

The next time he sees Blaine Anderson that day, it's just after last period, and the other boy is actually coming out of her classroom, his face beet red as he stares at the damn essay. There is a disbelieving, shy smile gracing his features, growing by the second.

Professor July exists the classroom shortly after him, and ruffles his (ugh, gelled!) hair before she continues down the corridor, in the opposite direction.

Sam Evans is right next to Blaine grinning and ignoring his own essay, which seems to be marked an unsurprising C.

Kurt takes a deep breath and tries to think about his father, and what he'd tell him to do.

Yes, that's a good idea. _What would Burt do?_ will be Kurt's new mantra, and it's all that's keeping him from tearing down the corridors in search of Sebastian to tell him he'll do it.

That works fine right up until the moment a big ruckus on the other side of the corridor interrupts his thoughts. He's still reeling, and he doesn't act as quick as he should. Before he knows it, Anderson is speeding past him, wand in hand, and Kurt barely manages to take off after him.

It's a fifth year Gryffindor, whose name Kurt doesn't know because he'd rather not, holding a box and grinning, announcing there's a boggart in there. He's surrounded by first and second years and they all look startled and terrified. Some of them are whimpering each time the box so much as jiggles.

Kurt reaches them just as Anderson's opening his mouth to say something. Kurt shoves him away and says, "I got this." Stepping forward, "You're going to come with me to see Professor Beiste."

Before the other boy can so much as look at him, there's a hand yanking back at Kurt's elbow, "What do you mean you got this? I got here first._ I _got this!"

"Now's not the time." Kurt mutters irritably, "I'm sixth year. I got seniority over you. I got this."

"Bullshit!"

"Anderson, if I wasn't here, you'd get this. But I'm here, and I'm older-"

"You're not older than m-"

"All the more reason." Kurt sneers, "I didn't repeat a year. I'm the right age for sixth year."

"You-" Anderson starts but doesn't get to finish before every first year around them starts screaming and wailing in fear, "Jake, don't!" Blaine gasps, but the boy is already opening the box.

"Get back!" Kurt manages, towards the first years, and he moves towards the box, but Blaine's already there, right in front of it, shielding the paralyzed kids.

It happens in a split second. One second it's nothing but an open card box, dark inside, the other there are three men, huddled close, with dark hoodies pulled over their faces and beater's bats in their hands. They're jeering, their laughter sending shivers down Kurt's spine and making swift panic pool deep in his belly. He sees as Anderson flinches for a moment before he tightens his hold on his wand and calls out "Ridikulus!" so confident that the boggart evaporates into thin air.

The kids have all stopped panicking, and they're just staring wide eyed and amazed at Anderson, who flicks his wand again, making the box disappear and says, in a tense voice, "Jake, come with me."

Kurt's still rooted to his spot by the time Anderson and the kid turn the corner and he barely manages to shake his head and sprint after them.

Anderson doesn't even so much as spare him a second glance as he catches up to them.

"You should've just let me take care of it." Kurt tells him, internally cringing as his voice comes out breathy and not at all commanding like he needed, "If you'd listened to me, the dickwad here wouldn't even have opened the box."

"Or if you hadn't tried to stop me when I was_ already_ there…" Anderson mutters through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.

The idiot boy snickers and both of them send him glares, shutting him up effectively and immediately.

-x-

They watch quietly as Professor Beiste gives a stern talking to to Jake Puckerman, and takes 20 points from Gryffindor. Watching the whole exchange, Kurt has to wonder, as he can't quite decide what would be worse, Professor Sylvester usual endless stream of insults whenever someone fucks up, or Professor Beiste's "I'm so disappointed in you…" spiel. In the end Kurt has to admit he'd much rather be on the receiving end of angry or even jeering insults, rather than stern, heartfelt words spoken like a parent.

When she dismisses Puckerman with a tired sigh, like the final punch to a ruined bag, Kurt starts to move away as well. Instead she calls, "And you two."

Kurt blanches. He hopes she's going to thank them for handling the situation, but he knows better.

"Why did this even happen? How did he have the opportunity to open that box if you got there before he did?" she asks, and Kurt can tell that Anderson is just as tongue tied as he is, if not more. Kurt glances to his side, and it gives him a small sick pleasure to see the other boy's face sporting the harshest case of the shameful blush, and he's biting his lip hard enough to bruise. "Why was he not stopped immediately? Pray tell, what was so important for you to discuss that he had time to carry his stupid idea through?"

"I…" Kurt starts, because it's obvious they're not going to leave until they say at least one word, "We…"

"You are Prefects!" She interrupts, and Kurt is equal parts thankful and annoyed, "You have a responsibility to act accordingly, and not get caught up in stupid rivalries and who gets to do the cool things and be the – no, you know what? I'm changing your patrolling schedules. Give them here!"

Blaine pulls his out of the pocket of his bag and Kurt produces his. She taps her wand to them, and Kurt could groan as he sees his name next to Blaine on his Monday and Wednesday evening patrols.

"Learn to work together. Grow up." She tells them before she flicks her wand and her office door is yanked open.

They nod dumbly before hurrying out, practically running.

The door's just slammed closed behind them when Kurt collides against someone not at all solid and the cold chill of walking through a ghost stops him on his tracks with a startled yelp. Almost at once a very solid body collides against his back and sends them both crashing to the floor.

Anderson groans clutching his knee as his bag and everything in it scatters over the floor.

Kurt hops to his feet, ready to leave the idiot to fend for himself, and hesitates.

Right next to his own foot there's the folded parchment, the bright red A+ peaking just enough to tease him into madness.

With a thundering heart, and despite every single cell of his body screaming angrily at him, Kurt drops to his knees and starts helping Anderson collect his things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two, With The Ill-Advised Crush**

Everyone has secrets. Some people might be better at keeping them so, but everyone has secrets. Even Blaine Anderson. One of Blaine Anderson's best-kept secrets is that he's actually very good at keeping his.

He was seven years old when he made the grave mistake of trusting the wrong person with the secret that he'd been the one to (accidentally, mind you) tarnish the library book. On that day, as he sat in detention wallowing in deep shame, he learnt his lesson.

Secrets are meant to stay secret.

Of course he has people he trusts, people he tells (almost) everything. People he barely thinks twice before sharing his inner thoughts and emotions.

But the thing is: a lot of people think they're exactly that to him. You see, over the years Blaine has learned that the best way to keep your private thoughts private is to make people think that they're privy to them. They're not. They're privy to what Blaine considers enough intel to keep them satisfied, but not nearly enough to put himself on the line. When everyone thinks he's an open book, he's really just the summary on the back cover.

An example: it's fairly common knowledge, amongst Hufflepuffs, that Blaine used to have a crush on Kurt Hummel – a long time ago. Some of them can actually pinpoint the year – their third – and how Kurt was actually the reason Blaine understood he was gay.

What barely anyone else knows is that that crush is alive and well. That whenever Kurt's eyes meet his, or even just when Blaine spots him walking down the corridor, usually flanked by Berry and Lopez, his heart races and his cheeks warm up.

He's not in love. He couldn't possibly. For some reason, the two of them never managed to forge an actual friendship, let alone the kind of relationship that Blaine insists is necessary for the act of falling in love.

Still, they were on friendly terms on their third year, sharing a desk in Charms class, even if never really talking, which is, of course when, it started. But then Blaine had to miss a whole school year and what could have been got cut short. When he came back, to his own belated fourth year at Hogwarts, Kurt was a fifth year, preparing for his OWL's and star Seeker of the Sytherin Quidditch team. The whole nine and half months they were in school Kurt must have looked at him twice. Both in passing.

At the time, Blaine was dealing with issues of his own, anyway, and everything as silly as a crush on a cute boy was put on the backburner.

By the end of that year, though, Blaine had gotten himself back together. He'd survived the ignorant bullying subsequent to having failed a year. He'd managed to keep his schoolwork up to par with his usual standards of excellence. He'd made it onto his own house team, after their at-the-time Keeper injured himself days before a big game, and done pretty well for himself. Life was getting back to normal.

So, he'd started this year with the distinct feeling things were about to get _really_ good.

They'd been champions the year before (and some might even go so far as to say he had a very good hand in it) and had all the probabilities of getting the cup again this year. His school grades were never higher. He'd been made Prefect. Figgins had even finally acquiesced to his constant begging for the opportunity to skip a year and graduate on time, even if on the condition that he pull at least 11 Outstanding OWL's. Granted, he'd probably agreed to that because he thought Blaine wouldn't be able to do it, but lack of faith from others had never stopped Blaine before – well, it probably had, but he was sure it wouldn't this time.

Life was back on track. Life was good.

Except for that one, tiny detail – the one almost no one knew about. His big, fat secret crush on Kurt Hummel.

It's not even close to his biggest secret, or most important one, but it's a secret and it goes to serves as an example that he does manage to keep his secrets. At the moment, though, it's also a very unfortunate thing about Blaine's life because it's messing with his head like few things nowadays truly can.

As Kurt Hummel bends down to help Blaine pick his stuff up from the floor, he can't help the knot in his stomach. Everything's jumbled up in his brain. Three days ago, he'd take it as a blessing, blush, thank Kurt and hope that their fingers brush somewhere along the process.

Today, he can't help get mad at himself for even just_ thinking_ it.

He's not supposed to want this anymore. Not after the way Kurt's been treating him. He just can't. He has self-respect and he's not going to be that kind of fool.

He touches the tip of his wand to his bag, and the moment it's stitched back together, he snatches his notebooks off Kurt's hands and shoves them down the bag before taking off down the corridor.

He's back in the Hufflepuff common room in record time, and doesn't think twice before grabbing Sam, dragging him to their dorm and sealing the door.

"Tell me again why I absolutely cannot and will not cave to the charms of one Kurt Hummel."

Sam gives him a mildly unimpressed look before he sighs, "Because he's a prick."

Blaine nods and adds, "A class A prick."

"A class A prick who thinks Quidditch is reason enough to treat others like shit." Sam extends with a smile.

"Right, you're right."

"What happened?"

"Beiste changed our patrol schedules as puncishment because we kind of had a fight about… never mind, it was stupid." Blaine slides his out of his pocket and shows it to Sam, who lets out a low whistle, "And when we were coming out of the room, we kind of crashed against each other, cuz he walked right into a ghost, and my bag ripped, and everything scattered across the floor, and he helped me…"

"Oohhh, so, that absolutely makes up for every nasty thing he's been saying to you." Sam laughs with an eye roll, and Blaine can't help chuckling as well.

"I _know_…!"

"Seriously, though, dude, you're not going back on it, are you?"

Blaine hesitates, "No."

"Seriously? Seriously?!"

"I…"

Sam grabs both his shoulders and leans down until their noses are practically touching and they're cross-eyed, "Seriously?!"

"I'll try to resist it." Blaine offers, cringing.

"Blaine…"

"He wasn't always a prick." Blaine shrugs, as if that was good enough, "He's never been anything short of a good person, except for this last week. And, to be fair, I've seen how everyone in his house keeps treating him. They make it seem like he's the reason they lost the cup, and that's so not true. Of course he'd a be a bit bitter over it, and I guess I'd be the most obvious target-"

Sam slaps him, not as lightly as one would think of a friendly 'don't be silly' slap, "Blaine, don't rationalize this." He tells him with the seriousness and intensity of a high school cheerleading coach, "If he truly thinks a stupid game is reason enough to treat you like shit when you did _nothing_ wrong, then he's a dick. It doesn't matter that he was never like that before, because when the right circumstances came along he chose to be an idiot, no matter what."

"You're right." Blaine nods and sighs, "You're absolutely right."

Sam beams, "Actually, Mike's right…" he chuckles.

"Of course. Of course you two have been talking about me behind my back…" he sighs, even though there's no bite to his words.

"Three. Tina, too." Sam grins, "Just three concerned friends looking out for the best interests of the littlest one." He pats Blaine over the top of his head before he can brush it off.

"I'm older than you." He points out, and Sam shrugs.

-x-

Monday night, a couple of hours after dinner, casually leaning against the Great Hall doors, Blaine clenches his jaw as he watches Kurt make his way towards him. He waits until Kurt is a few feet away before he pushes himself off the doors and starts down the corridor to his right.

They've been walking in silence for five minutes when Kurt speaks, his voice actually startling Blaine, "I think we may have started on the wrong foot."

"Not really." Blaine shrugs, not bothering to glance his way, "I thought you were a decent guy up until a week ago."

"Okay…." Kurt says slowly, "I think we may have started this year on the wrong foot."

Blaine doesn't say anything and keeps his eyes ahead of himself.

"I'm sorry."

Blaine stops and frowns, "What?"

"I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving. I've been a dick. I… I'm not usually like this, you know? I know you didn't set out to humiliate me last year… I know you were just doing your job, and it just so happens that you're pretty good at it. As am I at mine… but… Yeah… Anyway, people have just been giving me so much shit over it, and I lost my chance at captainship because of it, too, and… I wish I had a better excuse, but… ultimately it gets down to me being an idiot and letting it get to me. So, really, I'm sorry."

Blaine's a little speechless. He's just standing there, wide eyed, staring at Kurt and trying to think of something mildly scathing to say and coming up empty. Kurt gives him a little smile and a shrug before he starts walking again.

It takes Blaine a few seconds to catch up and start after him.

"So, what, you're going to be a decent human being to me, now?"

"I hope so." Kurt nods.

"Right…"

"You don't believe me." Kurt's voice is teasing, and it definitely feels a lot like Twilight Zone right now.

"I… Well… You called me a yellow potato, and you told me I needed to get a personality."

Kurt laughs, "Okay, but you have to admit, yellow potato _is _funny!"

"It is," Blaine concedes already a little lost for resolution, laughter too easy to come, but then Sam's voice comes back to him and he can't help it if his laughter turns sardonic, "And it would've been one thing if you were just joking around… you know? But you weren't. Actually, you were just being as unoriginal and cliché as everyone else. You think we're not used to being made fun of because we're Hufflepuff? You think we haven't had to learn how to be okay with that?" Blaine let's out a bark of sarcastic laugh at the thought alone, "Mike Chang's father gave him the could shoulder for three years until he somehow managed to get his head out of his ass and understand that just because his kid isn't in Ravenclaw it doesn't mean he won't be top of his class. Sam's little brother teased him for an entire year and pretended like he didn't exist because he wasn't cool like everyone else's big brothers that got sorted into Gryffindor or whatever." He sighs and tries not to clench his teeth, "Yellow Potato might be the most original amongst the long list of insults we've had to endure our entire time in this school, be if you think for one minute it's something new, you're sadly mistaken."

"Oh…" Kurt looks a little pale all of a sudden, "Wow…"

"I told you before, and I'll tell you again, you have no idea who I am and what I've been through, and you don't get an easy get out of jail free card just because you're suddenly _sorry_."

"A get out of what card?"

"You think you can just apologize, laugh it off, and everything will be alright? Watch this for show of personality: apology not accepted, now kindly shut up and leave me alone."

"I…"

"I said shut up." Blaine glares and stalks off.

He makes sure to keep at least ten feet between them for the rest of the hour they spend patrolling, and the silence is tense and invigorating.

-x-

Blaine doesn't tell anyone about it. For all that Sam, Tina and Mike know, their patrol was spent in awkward, heavy silence... And it's not even that big a lie. I mean, if you take out the first five minutes it is exactly what happened.

He's not quite sure why he doesn't tell them. He knows they'd agree with him and tell him he did the right thing. He knows they'd appreciate the effort not to give into the first sign of remorse. But on the other hand, every time he thinks about it, it's like there are butterflies in his stomach – but not the good, pretty kind. The kind that leaves him queasy. They're probably moths, desperate and panicked, trying to come up for light…

The next day, at breakfast, he finds himself staring at the back of Kurt's head, hoping to burn a hole through his skull and see inside. The other boy is talking to Sebastian Smythe, and they look pretty deep into it, and not at all happy with each other. It only counts as a point to Kurt, that he wouldn't be friendly with Sebastian, but then again, Blaine shouldn't be tallying Kurt's points. He should be looking anywhere else. Between Kurt and Sebastian, Blaine doesn't know which one makes his stomach churn the most (Sebastian, always Sebastian), so really…

_Any_where else.

Blaine yanks his eyes away from Kurt, who is gesticulating wildly, and clearly trying to keep his voice in check as he leans close to Sebastian, the back of his neck a deep shade of scarlet. He finds himself locking eyes with Rachel Berry. She startles and looks away at once, and Blaine frowns.

He waits for a few seconds and sure enough she looks back toward him. He gives her a questioning look, to which she responds with a panicked smile, and then seems to think better of it and flips him off. The whole exchange is just one of the most confusing in his life, and he decides to give up on it at once.

Refusing to let it get to him, he ignores the uneasy feeling throughout the whole day. Even when he gets to the library and his favorite table is occupied by none other than Kurt and Rachel Berry, having yet another intense discussion in hushed voices – _even then_ – he tries to ignore it and move on. They notice him and fall silent, guilt all over their expressions. He swallows it down and stalks his way to another table, until they're out of earshot, and drops his books heavily on the table. He winces at the level of noise he made. Shooting a sweet apologetic smile towards the librarian, who immediately waves it off, he sits down and cracks a book open.

His eyes move over the paper but his mind registers absolutely nothing. Blaine can feel eyes on his back, even if they're probably not looking. It only serves to annoy him further that he's letting this idiocy get so out of hand as to disturb his studies. Not this year, not when he has the chance to get _everything_ back on track.

He's two sentences away from slamming the book closed and leaving to find an empty classroom instead, when someone slides into the seat in front of him.

Kurt looks a little breathless, with pink cheeks and messy hair falling in front of his eyes.

"I didn't mean it." Kurt says at once, "I really didn't. Any of it."

"What? The apology?" Blaine could hex him right now.

"No. The insults. All of them. I know better than that. But I thought you were making fun of me and I bit back, I'm so sorry. I should've known you're not like that." It sounds rehearsed and Blaine can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing.

Blaine bites his tongue before he lets out a bitter whisper, "You know, I'd never pegged you for the cruel kind."

"Sometimes… When I have to." Kurt smirks, even if apologetically, and it annoys Blaine to no end that he's not even trying to appreciate the seriousness this deserves.

"And you_ had_ to?"

"I guess that's why I'm apologizing, isn't it?"

Blaine nods tersely, "If I accept your apology, will you just _leave me alone_ and stop whispering about me behind my back, because I got better things to do than be distracted by whatever circus you're trying to come up with here…"

"I… I didn't-"

"Apology accepted." He snaps before he makes a show of turning back to his book.

Kurt stares at him wide eyed and Blaine feels warm with vindication. He ignores Kurt's presence for a good two minutes, flipping the pages calmly and carefully. After a while, though, when Kurt still doesn't leave, he just can't take it anymore, and looks up, slowly.

"So what now?" he asks with an arched eyebrow, "You want to go back to our silent semi-friendship?"

"Our what?"

"You don't even remember our third year?" Blaine raises his eyebrows and sighs, trying to sound bored and not hurt, "When we used to sit together in Charms, and we'd never talk, but we always made sure the other had managed to write everything down and take all the right notes." He finishes with the sourest smile he can muster.

"Oh!" Kurt gasps, there's some color to his cheeks, and he smiles, "Yeah… Well, I guess we could talk this time."

"This is a library. No talking allowed." Blaine tells him, sickly sweet, before turning back to the book.

"Goddammit…" he hears Kurt mutter under his breath before he's shooting out of his seat and walking away.

Blaine smiles victoriously to himself until he realizes he's been staring at the same word for the last fifteen minutes without letting a single letter sink in.

-x-

_Dear Wes,_

_The strangest things keep happening. I need you to keep me sane._

_Remember that crush I had on Kurt Hummel? Remember how I never managed to shake it off even though we never really spoke after I came back? I thought this was the year. The year I was going to get rid of my schoolboy shyness and be the glamorous confident guy that swept him off his feet with charm and sex appeal (joke, I know, it's just a joke), or whatever little attractiveness I could muster._

_Turns out he took last year's game really to heart, and he was so, so, so rude to me, you have no idea. So, I wrote him off as a lost cause, much to my heart's dismay. You know how the little guy in the chest is always a little slow to get the message…_

_Anyway, just when I was getting set on moving on and enjoying the single life, he starts apologizing – like, really insisting on getting me to forgive him or whatever... just overall being all nice again. Well not again, because he wasn't ever particularly nice. He was just… there. Mostly indifferent._

_It's so confusing._

_How's the life of a Hogwarts graduate?_

_Hug,_

_Blaine_

_-x-_

_Dear Blaine,_

_I remember all of it. I trust Mike to keep you on the right track. Maybe even Sam, bless him. He's adorable in his youth. Don't let him off the hook easy. If he was as obnoxious as you say he was – over something as infantile as quidditch – he needs to sweat a little. But... do you think he has more than forgiveness or even friendship on his mind?_

_Because I kind of think he does. If he was just sorry he'd say so and leave you alone, and you could go back to your previous relationship, which was absolutely none. But if he's pushing for more, I'd say he has something romantic on his mind. And I don't know… he always struck me as a fairly good guy, but I never exchanged more than two words with him, and if he really was an ass to you… I don't know._

_Man up, Blaine, make good choices._

_Ministry work is exciting at first, and then it gets a little boring. But it's just a stepping stone anyway. I'll get there sooner or later. _

_You decided what you want to be, yet?_

_Hug,_

_Wes_

_-x-_

_Dear Wes,_

_Sam is not that younger. He's only a year younger than me, and three than you. Don't you get all cocky on us just because you're "older and wiser"._

_Quidditch isn't infantile. It's just not a reason to treat others like shit._

_You really think he might be into me? Because that'd be so random right now (but also so…. Good… sorry,… I didn't mean to write that, it just came out. My quill vomited it.). And I so don't believe in that whole "if he's mean to you it must mean that he likes you" spiel. But also… you know. It's Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel!_

_I cannot stress this enough: we are talking about Kurt Hummel._

_Last night, during prefect patrols (did I tell you Beiste paired us up as punishment for a fight we had on our first week back?) he tried starting a conversation about OWL's and a bunch of sage advice or whatever. It was weird and awkward and terrible. And today, at dinner, he smiled at me from across the room. I can feel my resolution wavering. I want to talk to him! And I want him to tell me what he wants! And I want that to be me._

_What even is a good choice?_

_Of course I have no idea yet._

_I can't wait to vote for you, my dearest future Minister for Magic. Until then,_

_Hug,_

_Blaine_

-x-

Blaine's hopping his way down the owlery stairs, on Thursday evening, hoping to catch his favorite armchair free so he can get some quality reading time before bed, when Sam speeds right past him, sprinting.

"Sam?!"

Sam skids to a halt and practically falls on his ass turning back around, "Dude!" he pants, "Finally! I've been looking for you everywhere! You gotta come down to the common room."

"What? What's happening?!"

"You gotta come!" Sam breathes, taking Blaine's hand and yanking him down to a full sprint.

By the time they're turning the corner to their common room corridor, Blaine's practically fallen on his ass four times and he's panting beyond reason with a stitch on the right side of his stomach.

That, however, all fades away, when his eyes land on the endless amount of flowers adorning the corridor. They're every color and every shape, and they're everywhere. Blaine would have flinched and turned away if he hadn't noticed Kurt, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Once he sees Blaine, he jumps to his feet and brushes his hands on his pants and clears his throat and does all sort of cute nervous ticks before offering a hesitant smile and starting to sing.

Blaine doesn't know the song, and the lyrics slip past his brain like water in thin sand, but Kurt's voice is incredibly beautiful. He has no idea what is happening, even if his heart has gained a mind of its own and started pumping blood like it's going out of style.

"He was doing this for a while," Sam whispers in Blaine's ear, "before we finally told him you weren't here and then he just said he'd wait till you came back." Blaine raises a hand to Sam's mouth and pinches his lips together without his eyes ever straying off Kurt.

When Kurt finishes, he shrugs and sighs and says, "So, yeah… huh…"

Blaine looks around them and notices, for the first time, the absolutely ridiculous amount of people watching them. His cheeks feel like fire, and he imagines they probably won't look too different from Kurt's scarlet ones. "What…?"

"So…" Kurt clears his throat and winces as he says it, "As sincere as I can: I'm _sorry_."

"Oh…"

"And maybe go on a date with me…?"

"Wha-Oh-I… Oh my god…" he breathes, "I…" everything is just overwhelming, but the low rumbling of expectant whispers and sighs brings him a little bit back to reality and he manages, "Can we…huh, somewhere private?"

"Oh!" Kurt nods at once, "Yes! Please!"

Blaine turns on his heel and opens the first door he can find. It's a broom cabinet, but Kurt goes in nonetheless and Blaine doesn't think twice before following him inside. He somehow has enough presence of mind to cast a muffling spell over the door and lock it, before he finally turns back towards Kurt, who's already lit his wand and is biting his lip expectantly.

"A date…? You want to go on a date…? With me?"

"Yes." Kurt nods.

"What? Why?"

"Because…" His eyes are nervous and fidgety as he shrugs, "because I like you. I want to be with you."

"What?!"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Kurt lets out a nervous chuckle, looking at his feet as he scratches the bridge of his nose. He glances up several times before Blaine manages to respond.

"I… well. Yes." Blaine frowns, "A week ago you were taking every opportunity you had to insult me, and-"

"We've been over that, I'm sorry."

"And you don't know me." Blaine says and Kurt opens his mouth to respond but Blaine raises his hand and continues, "I don't mean it like I did earlier, I don't. I just… You really, truly don't know me. You've never had a conversation that lasted more than five minutes with me, and you never even _tried_. You don't notice me. You never have, up until we beat you last year I doubt you even knew my full name. I don't get why you like me all of a sudden, because we've been students here for six years now, granted, I wasn't here for one of them, but… that's a long a time, and you never once gave me a second glance, so, why now?"

"I… That's not-"

"I'm so confused, because… I'll be honest. I've had a crush on you for the longest time, since we were thirteen and sitting together in charms, but suddenly everything's happening all at once, and I don't know why, and-"

"I do like you. I do."

"Why?"

"I…" he tries to start, but he ends up coming up short and empty each time, finishing it off with a breathless smile, "I just do…"

"Come on, Kurt, it's not that hard a question. _I_ like your eyes, and the way you hold your head high, I like how good a seeker you are, I like that you caught the snitch even though it meant losing, just so you could cut your losses and finish the game sooner rather than later, I like how smart you are, I like how you used to never put your hand up in class but when the teacher asked you something you always knew the answer, and I hope you put your hand up now because I think people should know how smart you are, and I like your handwriting, I like how you blush all the time, when you're mad, when you're annoyed, when you're happy…"

"Oh…"

"It's not that hard."

"I like… I like… I like your smile." Kurt says, his cheeks reddening at once. Blaine's knees weaken and he shifts his weight. "You have a smile that's… really, huh, kind. And nice." He shrugs and takes a deep breath, "Actually, it's beautiful."

"Right, thanks."

"And I guess I like that you fought back, you know, when I was an asshole to you."

Blaine quirks an eyebrow.

"What can I say… maybe I like a challenge…?" Kurt offers with a nervous chuckle, and Blaine can't help giving into it, too.

"Fine…"

"What?"

"Fine. You can take me on a date." Blaine tries to keep himself in check, even though he can feel every inch of his body vibrating with excitement, "The next Hogsmeade weekend is in October, though,-"

"No, we can just… go sit by the lake or something. I don't… I don't want to wait until October." Kurt smiles a little shy, and steps closer, "How about this Saturday… Afternoon?"

"I… alright."

Kurt sighs in apparent relief and then smiles "So, it's a date!"

"Yes… yeah, it's a date." It sounds so surreal, even as he says it.

Kurt leans over and kisses Blaine's cheek, quickly and swiftly, before unlocking the door and scampering off.

Blaine lets his back slide against the wall, until he's sitting on the broom closet's floor, completely mind blown and a little scared of what he just agreed to.

"Well, I don't see any tousled hair, ruined lips or dark hickeys, so it can't have been_ that _intense…" Sam's voice pulls him out of his thoughts as he leans against the open door.

"I just…" Blaine breathes, without the faintest clue as to what he wanted to say.

"I got everyone to go away… It's safe to come out."

"I… agreed… I told him I'd go on a date with him." He confesses, "I… am I stupid?"

"What? B, the guy serenaded you, he apologized like a gazillion times. I'm sure he meant it. People should get second chances."

"You really think so?"

"Come on, I know we acted like it was the end of the world, but we're just kids, we're allowed to be stupid, sometimes. So what he was stupid for a week? He came around. And you've been hung up on him for years, now. You need to at least give it a shot. I'd be slapping you stupid if you'd said no."

That's all it takes before relief pours over him, and anxiety and second-guessing gives way to pure giddiness.

"Holy fuck. I'm going on a date with Kurt Hummel."

-x-

_Dear Blaine,_

_Wesley has informed me of your predicament. I'm appalled and offended you didn't reach out to me for advice as well. However, because I'm such a benevolent person I shall give it to you nonetheless._

_Seduce him. Date him. Dump him. Say "Payback is a bitch, bitch."._

_That is my advice to you. Surely, much more sensible than whatever nonsense Wesley fed you._

_I love you munchkin,_

_David_

_-x-_

_Dear David,_

_I wonder why I didn't come to you for guidance._

_As you must imagine your unsolicited advice shall be ignored. Well. The last part at least. Because Kurt actually just asked me out and I said yes. However, no plans to dump him in cold blood._

_Love you too,_

_Blaine_

-x-

Saturday can't come quickly enough, but when it does it's mind wrecking. Blaine sits on his bed, looking at his limited choices of wardrobe and despairing. He knows his clothes are good and stylish, for the most part – even his most casual options make him smile. But there's something about going on a first date with this particular boy that kind of makes Blaine want to break out his best suit and polish his shoes.

It's ridiculous, probably.

They're just going to spend some time together – they're not going to the Opera. He takes a deep breath and pulls on a fitted pair of dark jeans and a black Henley over a bright magenta dress shirt, and then puts on his favorite, most original and intricate shoes, before shuffling downstairs just in time for lunch.

Ignoring Sam, Mike and Tina's smirk throughout the meal isn't easy, but he manages to keep most of his dignity intact. He skips dessert, though – his appetite isn't at its peak, and if there ever was a time to escape this table and avoid his best friends, this was it.

The mid-September air is getting crisp and cool, and as he steps outside he almost wishes he'd brought a coat. He folds his arms over his chest and starts walking calmly towards the lake, hoping to have a little time to himself, to get his head around what was about to happen. However, his heart jumps to his throat when he notices Kurt is already there, sitting alone by the edge of the lake, wrapped up tight in a beautiful grey wool coat.

He slows his pace but doesn't allow himself to stop altogether. By the time he's close to Kurt his breathing is somewhat under control, and he can pretend to be cool and collected.

"Hi." He says, to Kurt's back. The boy startles and turns around.

"Oh! Hi!" he smiles, seeming a little nervous himself. The thought helps Blaine, and he sits down in a single swift movement, folding his legs easily into a pretzel.

"So…" Blaine says with a small smile.

"So." Kurt nods.

"Here we are."

"Yeah." Kurt bites his lip and then adds, "It's surprisingly cold."

"We're talking about the weather?" Blaine teases, but it might come across accusatory, because Kurt startles and sputters to correct himself.

"I meant that maybe meeting outside wasn't-"

"I was just kidding. Sorry," Blaine smiles, "Do you want to go inside? We could…"

"No… No. I'm good. I just – you don't have a coat-"

"Yeah, no, I'm good. The sun's starting to gain a little heat. It's fine. Really."

"Okay…" Kurt nods, and then falls silent.

Blaine tries not to laugh at how strange and stilted this feels. It wouldn't necessarily be a good laugh. A frustrated laugh… a disappointed laugh even… Somehow, when he fantasized about this he'd always thought it'd be so simple and so easy, and they'd talk for hours without interruption and awkwardness. Or maybe there would be interruption, in the form of kisses – short, tentative, shy, and then long and passionate.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath, "What was that song you sang to me? I never heard it…"

"Oh." Kurt seems surprised, "You don't know Harmony Pearce?"

Blaine frowns and smiles, "Should I?"

"I… well, she's like the new big thing... and I didn't know what kind of music you listened to, so I thought maybe going with someone everyone knows would be a good idea. But…"

"I never heard it…" Blaine shrugs, "Do you like her…?"

"I… She's alright. She's talented. Rachel worships the ground she walks on."

"You don't." It's not a question, it's merely an invitation for Kurt to elaborate.

"I think some of her lyrics are… a little immature, I don't know. But she has an amazing voice, and I guess I can appreciate her passion. She quit Hogwarts after her OWL's to pursue singing. It takes some guts to believe in yourself like that… I guess."

Blaine nods while he tries to find a reply, "I think it takes a lot of guts to know what you want to do with your life at fifteen."

"You don't?" Kurt asks, apparently picking up on Blaine's unvoiced words a little too easily.

Blaine shrugs and doesn't say anything. Instead, he clears his throat and asks, "So she's a celebrity witch… I guess that's why I don't know her."

Kurt gets the hint and doesn't go back on the subject, "Oh?"

"I'm muggle born." He looks at Kurt, who seems genuinely surprised to learn this, and frowns a little, "You didn't know?"

"Huh, no… I never… no."

"Yeah… So, I don't know, I grew up with muggle music and muggle films, and everything, and I just… It's kind of the only thing I have keeping me rooted to my family, you know? Besides, muggles have so much more variety it's insane. I guess I've seen her name across the Daily Prophet a couple of times, now that you mention it, but I guess I never felt the need to venture into… you know, wizard bands and stuff."

"I… huh, yeah, I know." Kurt nods and he seems even quieter than he had the whole time before.

"You do?"

"I… Well… I'm half-blood. My mom was muggle born. But she… huh, died. When I was eight. Anyway, she had her own muggle radio she'd turn on and listen to. My dad, he teased her about it, but she always chose her own music, and most weekends she'd go into town to see a film, or whatever. She'd take me with her sometimes." He shrugs, "But then she… and I just…"

Blaine's silent for a little bit. What should he say to that? _I'm sorry? Was she nice? Did it suck?_

"Did you like them?"

"What?"

"The films, and the songs…"

"Oh." Kurt considers it for a moment, "I loved them. All of it."

"Yeah…" Blaine nods, "It's what I miss most when I'm here." He laughs to himself, "Thousands of muggleborns going through this place and not one has decided to take it upon themselves to find a way to make muggle devices work around Hogwarts. You have no idea how useful cell phones are."

"Maybe you could do just that…" Kurt teases, tentative, but lighthearted.

Blaine chuckles and nods, "Maybe…"

"Maybe then you could show me the music that you do like. So I can get it right the next time."

Blaine quirks an eyebrow. He can't help grinning as he asks, "Next time?"

"Well, I'm no Harmony Pearce,-"

"I may not know who that woman is, but I'm pretty sure she can't hold a candle to you. You have the most beautiful voice, Kurt Hummel. Without wanting to make assumptions, I'd be honored to be serenaded by yo-"

"Okay. Yeah. There'll be more." Kurt interrupts. His words are short and embarrassed, and his cheeks are the loveliest shade of pink Blaine's ever seen on them, but he keeps his eyes on Blaine. There's a beat of silence, and then Kurt chuckles and tucks his chin to his chest and mumbles, "Sorry, I'm just…"

"Yeah…" Blaine returns his embarrassment, and these moments of proof that Kurt is just as nervous as him make his own vulnerability feel a little bit better.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt asks once silence has fallen back over them.

"Sure."

"Did you mean it, when you said you've had a crush on me since we were thirteen?"

"Yeah." Blaine shrugs, and tries not to feel like too much of an idiot for admitting it.

"Oh." Kurt takes a deep breath, and then adds, "I liked you, too. Back then. Third year. I liked you, too. I actually lived for Charms. It was my favorite class, because we'd sit together."

Blaine grins and laughs.

"I was just too shy to say anything."

"Yeah, me too." Blaine shakes his head, "Anyway, we were thirteen, what would we have done? Kissed once a day and held hands over lunch or something?"

"I don't know…" Kurt laughs, "Do thirteen year olds even date?"

"I have no idea. But I mean, kids these days… right?"

"Right, because we're so old." Kurt laughs.

Blaine gives him a pointed, amused look before he sighs like an old man and says, "You know, my knee actually hurts a little when it rains a lot."

Kurt squints, "You're joking."

"Absolutely not." Blaine tells him with a wide smile and Kurt bursts out laughing.

As they laugh Blaine thinks that this is getting to be more and more like his fantasies, and maybe they weren't actually that farfetched in the first place. Maybe they do fit easily and comfortably.

"Can I ask you something else…?" Kurt bites his lip once the laughter as subsided.

"Of course." Blaine shrugs.

"What happened that year you didn't come?" he asks, and Blaine's heart falters a little. His smile disappears in a split second and Kurt must notice this, because at once he starts trying to justify his curiosity, with fast, anxious words, "Because I've heard so many things, so many rumors, and I know most of them can't possibly be true. I mean, obviously you're not retarded, and Figgins didn't make you stay home and make sure you were a wizard before letting you come back-"

"I… Yeah… Hm, no, that's definitely not true." He says with a sad smile, but doesn't know if he wants to say anything else.

After a long stretch of silence in which Blaine still isn't sure if he should just tell him, Kurt speaks again, still hesitant and shy, "Did it have anything to do with your boggart? With the guys in the hoodies with the beater's bat."

"Baseball bats." He corrects without thinking, "They were baseball bats, not beater's."

"Baseball?"

"It's a muggle sport. Anyway, they use bats like that."

"Oh." Silences. "So… does it? Have anything to do with that…?"

"Yes." Blaine shrugs.

"Oh…"

It's one of those secrets he's managed to keep mostly to himself. He'd like it to stay that way, and for as hopeful as he is about Kurt, trust doesn't actually come easy for Blaine. He's said too much already, though, and Kurt's not an idiot. He knows how to connect the dots. He might as well do it properly.

"I was with a friend, a childhood friend – muggle. It wasn't a date, not really, we were kids, and it wasn't… it was nothing like today. But the local LGBT+ group had a meeting in a park, like this huge picnic, and we'd just gotten around the nerve to come out to each other and we'd gone together. We were so nervous… but it felt good, you know, it felt like freedom. And honesty, too…" he shrugs and sighs, "I don't know, we weren't doing anything really, we weren't even holding hands, but at some point we had to go back home for dinner and we separated from the group. We never… we never even considered the thought… Anyway, these three guys, huge monsters, they just cornered us in an ally, and beat the crap out of us. Right there in broad day light."

"Oh…"

"You know, for a while there I really did think they'd beat the magic out of me, because I couldn't understand… I just couldn't… I remember when I was five years old I made the couch disappear from right under my brother because I was annoyed he wouldn't play lava floor with me. So, I just, I didn't understand, how I couldn't… in that moment. I… Anyway, that happened three days before we were supposed to come back… and how do you explain to a bunch of muggle doctors that you need to be transferred to St. Mungus where they can patch you up in a couple of days, when you're in a coma for two weeks?"

"What?"

"My parents didn't even know how to reach Figgins to tell him what happened, and by the time I woke up it was... yeah, so… basically, that's what happened."

"I…" Kurt seems completely lost for words. He even looks a little pale. Blaine kind of wants this conversation to be over already.

He lets his breath out in a long sigh, and clears his throat, "I don't like it when people know. So… huh, please."

"I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you."

"Yeah…" Kurt's silent for a long time, before he asks, "Why don't you, though? Why did you let everyone say those horrible things behind your back when it wasn't your fault at all?"

Blaine shrugs.

"I just… I don't understand… They called you retarded for a year."

"Because that's better than punching bag? I don't know… Kurt. I just… I spent that entire year alone in my bedroom recovering both physically and emotionally, and I was just exhausted by the time I came back. I didn't want to think about it, _ever_." He sighs and resists the urge to get up and walk away, "I don't want to be a victim."

"No one else knows?"

"Sam, Mike and Tina. And Wes and David."

"Wes and David?"

"They graduated last year. They were like my big brothers here. Never mind, anyway, yeah, Sam, Mike and Tina. And you. No one else. _Please _keep it that way."

"I… I promise I won't tell anyone." Kurt nods, but it doesn't actually make Blaine feel any better and he regrets telling him. Here comes the pity party.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3, With The Red And White Roses**

Kurt doesn't want to do this. He didn't want to do this in that cupboard, and he sure as hell doesn't want to do this by the lakeside, listening to Blaine's secret and feeling his own stomach disappear and leaving behind a gaping hole of guilt and shame.

"I… I promise I won't tell anyone." Kurt nods.

Silence falls between them and Kurt chances a few glances towards Blaine. He's moved to pull his knees to his chest and hug his own legs tight. What does anyone say to this kind of thing? Kurt's torn between wanting to ask everything and wanting to disappear and just give up on this whole nonsense. Blaine doesn't deserve this.

Blaine was so right – Kurt didn't know him. Kurt had no idea who he was, and, as it turns out, he is someone who shouldn't be fucked with.

(Of course it's also arguable that no one should be fucked with like this, regardless of past traumas, but Kurt has more pressing concerns than revisiting that deep into his conscience)

"So, yeah," Blaine sighs after what might have actually been half an hour of heavy silence, "Ever since then my knee kind of hurts when it's cold and humid." Kurt turns, startled by those words and finds him smiling.

At that Kurt can't help chuckling, and his heart beats faster when that smile widens a little more.

Blaine sighs, shrugs and shakes something off himself before he speaks again, his voice calm and back to its usual graceful, velvety lilt, "I've made my peace with it, Kurt. There's no need for the heavy, awkward silence or the pity party."

"Okay." Kurt concedes, still breathless.

"Besides, I'm going to catch up with you guys at the end of this year. Figgins made me a deal, and if I get eleven O's on my OWL's I get to skip sixth year."

"Oh wow." Kurt gasps, genuinely shocked, "I don't know what's the most surprising part of that sentence, that Figgins agreed to it or that you actually think eleven O's are realistic…"

Blaine laughs, "He agreed to it because, like you apparently, he thinks I won't make it. But I guess you're just another person to prove wrong."

"And you've already shown me how easily you can prove me wrong…" Kurt nods acquiescingly.

Blaine grins at that and Kurt realizes he really needs him to stop doing that because it does _things_ to him, "How many OWL's did you get?"

"Eleven. But only seven of those were O's." Kurt scrunches up his nose and shrugs, "They picked one of those really boring potions – the kind I absolutely hate brewing, so… I botched that one – the theory was good enough to secure the Exceeds Expectations, though. And History of Magic is just…_ no_, so I got an Acceptable. And as you know Ancient Runes is like that thing were Exceeds Expectations is the new Outstanding, so I'm actually quite proud of it. And then there was Care of Magical Creatures which, for the life of me I still don't understand why I even chose to take it, because I hate anything that isn't a unicorn."

Blaine laughs at that and gives him an understanding nod.

"And then of course there was Divination, which I failed."

"No judgment here over that one." Blaine chuckles, "The only reason I keep taking it is because Sam and I have the best time bullshitting our way through the essays."

"Yeah, well, don't try bullshitting your way through the exam." Kurt warns him.

"Ahhh, but you have never read my bullshit. You don't know. It's top notch." Blaine shrugs, "Besides, I only need eleven O's, so I got three subjects I can totally botch."

"You're taking fourteen OWL's?!"

"Yap." Blaine shrugs, smirk already ghosting over his features.

"What are you, the biggest overachiever ever? I didn't even know Hogwarts had that many subjects! You have Quidditch practice and Prefect duties and you think you're going to have time for fourteen OWL's?"

"It's been done before." Blaine offers easily, "I've talked to some of the Professors and they agreed to let me study their subjects on my own, so I don't have to go to their classes as long as I turn in all the essays they assign – that way I don't have scheduling overlaps and I only have to go to the classes I really want to pursue at NEWT level. And my Quidditch practices are in the morning, which, as hard as it is to get out of bed at five, it's still super time efficient. And I guess I'll just have to find a way to think of Prefect patrols as leisure time, seen as it's literally going to be my only free time. Which given our current situation is actually a fairly good expectation." Blaine rattles off, looking relaxed and fairly amused, "So, see? Totally under control. Besides, did you forget the part where I spent an entire year at home, not doing anything? Do you know how much I studied? How much I read? And this summer, too. Don't tell anyone this, but I actually wrote like half of this year's essays already. I got this, Kurt, don't worry."

"I- I'm not worried. I just… I just think I'm on a date with an insane person."

Blaine laughs, loud and clear.

"I mean, if we keep dating some of those dates will have to be spent in the library, but all in all it's a small price for skipping a year, isn't it? You don't mind, do you?"

Kurt bites his lip and keeps himself from saying _you shouldn't want to date me at all_. "I guess I can even tutor you if you need."

Blaine grins, "I don't. But thanks."

"You're a little cocky, you know that, right?"

"I told you, you don't know me, Kurt Hummel." Blaine teases him, leaning over enough to bump their shoulders together, but immediately going back to their previous distance.

"I guess we're fixing that, aren't we?"

"As long as you want to." Blaine shrugs, his little smirk a little less bright.

"I…" _I actually do, and that's the worst par_t, "I said I did, didn't I?"

"You're allowed to change your mind." Blaine offers, his smile not quite reaching his eyes as they look anywhere but Kurt's.

"I'll let you know if that happens, no worries."

Blaine gives him a strange sort of smile before he turns his face back towards the sun, over the lake, still pretty high on the sky, significantly warmer now. He squints slightly, and then sighs, "So we've covered my deep dark secrets and unrealistic ambitions for the future,… I think we're at an imbalance."

"I don't have a deep dark secret."

"Everyone has a deep dark secret." Blaine rolls his eyes, but then smiles, "But fine, you don't have to tell me. I guess I can settle for _your _unrealistic ambitions for the future."

Kurt can't help chuckling, "Do they have to be unrealistic?"

"Aren't they?"

"Well… I'm not…"

"My brother says that if one's dreams are not unrealistic then one's not pushing oneself enough."

"Do you believe that?" Kurt frowns, trying not to look overtly judgmental, lest he offend Blaine. It just sounds like something out of Rachel's many-splendored collection of inspirational clichés.

Blaine considers it for a moment before he cringes and shakes his head with a guilty little smile. "Not really. I mean, I know my, huh, dream is unrealistic, but I thought – hey, if you were ever gonna dream big this would be the time." He laughs, "I mean, I believe in ambition. I think that's good. And trying, you know. But I think wanting things you know you can't have… it doesn't sound very nice, does it?"

"No…" Kurt breathes, "What's the point of wanting something you know you'll never get?"

"Learning to deal with disappointment." Blaine offers with faux cheer.

Kurt chuckles and then enunciates carefully, "You aim for the stars and you might get stuck on the roof, but you might land on the moon. But if you only aim for the roof, that's all you'll ever get. By yours truly, Rachel Berry."

"Such poetry this early in the day." Blaine sighs, "Nah… I mean, maybe it's healthy to aim high, but you don't want to aim too high, or you might actually topple over. So, with the stars and moon analogy – maybe aim for the moon from the start, because I heard stars are really fucking hot balls of gas on fire and I really doubt people would survive without melting."

Kurt laughs, loud and surprised, and Blaine looks sort of proud of himself. Kurt just wants to give him a little medal for being funny. He lets himself chuckle until he's back to looking out at the lake and its steely surface. There's a whole world beneath those smooth waters and they'll never know half of it.

"Have you ever actually had something you knew you _could _do… something you deserved, something you wanted so bad it hurt… and had it yanked out of your hands?" He asks calmly, "It kind of brings things into perspective. I think if these people actually experienced that kind of loss, they wouldn't be so quick to encourage people to dream for the unachievable."

"Is this about Quidditch and not being made Captain…?"

"Please… as if." Kurt shakes his head, and then he takes a deep breath and lies down on the grass. He watches the clouds for a moment before he says, "Sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my house when I say stuff like that. I just… I have ambition, I do. And I want things, and I know how to get them. But maybe I prefer taking calculated risks, you know?"

Blaine gives him a look, as if he's trying to read something particularly tricky before he sighs, lays down to mirror Kurt's position and prompts, "Tell me, then, about these calculated risks you want to take."

"What do you even want to know? What I want to do after Hogwarts?"

"Sure, why not."

"I…" _I want to apply for an advanced Transfiguration research program in the Department Of Mysteries that takes exactly one new person each year, and once you're told no, you can't apply again, and this actually __**is**__ reaching for the stars and completely unrealistic dreaming, _"I don't know… maybe something with Transfiguration, I'm not sure yet."

"Like research? Like exploring with new spells and stuff?" Blaine turns on his side to look at him. Kurt can't help chuckling at his sudden very 'photogenic' pose and Blaine sticks his tongue out.

"Yeah, maybe." He says amid laughter.

"That's cool!" Blaine gasps, "How does one go into that sort of career?"

"I… Hum, you apply for programs, research programs, and then usually, you have a year to come up with something new and write a thesis on it, and then it's, hm, reviewed and if it's any good you might get a job out of it."

"Oh! That's cool! I hope you get in whatever program you like best."

"Yeah, thanks." Kurt sighs and lets it out, "The best one, though… _the_ program I need to apply for, if I want to do what I want for _real_, only takes one person every year. And it has summer internships, for fifteen to sixteen year old students, but I didn't get in last year because of… huh, stuff. So…"

"It's just a summer internship. It's not everything. I'm sure it's not all they take into consideration. Everyone knows you're July's top student." Blaine offers with a wide smile and Kurt's stomach tightens a little.

"Not really. Not even I ever managed an A+ on any of my essays…"

"Oh…!" Blaine blushes and Kurt almost wants to slap that sheepish look off his face, "That was a fluke, I'm sure. I mean, I hope I keep doing well, but I… And anyway, I don't – I wouldn't… I'd never…"

"You'd never?" Kurt prompts, sitting back up and looking down on Blaine when he seems to loose his words, "You'd never what? You'd never apply for it, if you decided it was what you wanted, you'd never go for it because you knew it was _my _dream?"

"Well, huh, it's… it's not _my_ dream. I don't think so… I…" Blaine scrambles to sit, crossing his legs like a pretzel and leaning forward – hand stopping halfway toward Kurt and closing awkwardly over nothing.

"Huh…" Kurt scoffs, "Big consolation, though, knowing the only reason I still might have a shot at getting in is because you don't want it." He shakes his head, "It doesn't work like that to me, I'm still second best."

"Kurt." Blaine interrupts, clearly forcing himself to go those extra inches and land his hand gently on Kurt's knee, he squeezes and it's awkward and too polite, but it also feels a little nice, "I got one A+ on a _theory _essay. That doesn't mean _anything_."

Kurt tries not to scoff again but he can't help shaking his head, "It does to me."

"And I promise, I've got nothing on you. Not as far as Transfiguration is concerned. If we were talking Charms, or Potions, then maybe," Blaine says with what's probably supposed to be a good-natured tease, "but Transfiguration…? Come on, you're_ it_."

"Can we maybe just stop talking about this…?"

"I… Yeah, sure."

"I'm sorry, I just, sore spot, I guess…"

"No, it's fine. I understand." Blaine shrugs, squeezing again before retreating his hand, "Okay, so… Huh, I don't know, tell me… tell me about your dad!"

"Oh! My dad!" Kurt can't help laughing and feeling warmth flood his body, both with relief for the change in subject and affection for the new one.

He wonders if there's a way to get that hand back.

-x-

It's almost dinnertime when Kurt makes his way back to the common room. His cheeks are red from the chill that had settled around the two of them. They'd talked while the sun stopped giving them any warmth at all, and even as it set they barely gave its beautiful colors a passing glance – there was something much more mesmerizing in each other's words and stories. There's a pretty flower in his hand and he can't stop glancing down at it every two seconds. His body feels light and excited, and his smile comes easy, without even thinking about it.

But that all fades away the moment he spots Sebastian obviously waiting for him, sitting on a couch with a book he's clearly not reading, eyes already locked on him, smirk already in place.

"Quite the date you had there." Sebastian drawls, eyes dropping to the little daisy in Kurt's hand.

"Yeah, I don't think this is such a good idea. I'm not going to do it anymore."

Sebastian quirks an eyebrow, "But you were laughing and everything. From afar it actually looked like a pretty good date. I'm sure it's not going to be_ that_ boring!"

"I just can't do it."

"You have feelings for him."

"I… I have morals."

"You have feelings for him." Sebastian reiterates laughing, "You actually have feelings for that ameba."

"He's not- no, you know what, I don't even care. I just… I quit. You can make Berry the Captain for all I care. I'm just not going to do it."

"You quit?" Sebastian smirks, "You quit from the team, is that what you mean-"

"What? No!"

"Because that's what I heard. I distinctively remember hearing the words _I quit_ leaving your mouth."

"I meant your absurd plan." Kurt argues, looking around himself to check no one's overhearing them, because he's suddenly sure this conversation is not going to be as short as he'd hoped for.

"My plan is my team winning." Sebastian tells him, laughter fading as he trains his stare on Kurt, "And if you quit it, you quit the team winning, and if you quit the team winning, then you might as well quit the team."

"I never-"

"Let's put it this way: I can have tryouts for our new seeker tomorrow, and I'm sure I can find a decent enough seeker. Heck, _I'm _a decent seeker, better than Rose, or any of the others. But _you_? You'll never be part of a Quidditch team ever again when I'm through with you, and then… then where will you be when you don't get into the ministry's program and you can't even pursue professional Quidditch?"

"What…?!" Kurt's stomach drops.

"That's still your plan B, isn't it? Or has it changed since last year when you so adorably begged Jesse to make you Captain, so you'd have the chance to go pro in case the transfiguration thing didn't work out?"

"Now you're blackmailing me?!" he gasps.

"I'm looking out for your best interests." Sebastian tells him with a condescending smile and pat to his shoulder, "You know perfectly well my father can make or break careers, and I'd hate for him to find your name on the wrong side of lists. And something about my dad, he likes _winning_ teams."

Kurt can't do anything except stare at Sebastian in disbelief.

"So, I'll take that as a retraction of your previous sentiment." Sebastian stands, closing his book and throwing it carelessly over the couch, "The kid has an unhealthy obsession with big romantic gestures. So, get him some flowers and light a bunch of candles or whatever, and he'll give it up to you…"

Kurt watches him leave with a frown. "Give what up to me…?" he mutters to himself, even though he has a feeling he knows exactly what Sebastian meant. The thought makes him cringe.

-x-

The "fact" that Kurt and Blaine are now an item spreads through the school like wildfire, both in speed and quality.

"Did you hear?" Blaine says as way of greeting when they meet, Monday night, for their Prefect patrol, "Apparently we're star-crossed lovers, finally taking our destiny into our hands and demanding our happy ending."

"Come again…?"

Blaine pushes himself off the wall he'd been leaning against as he starts explaining, with all the inflection of a true storyteller, "It seems to be that we first fell in love last year, but you couldn't commit because of all the rumors that had been spread around me. When you finally realized they were not true and I was not in fact a slut or other much worse, more offensive things, we started a_ secret_ relationship because our Quidditch Captains, or rather _yours,_ would never in a million years accept our torrid love affair. As such, I grew tried of your lack of faith and fickle devotion to me and our love and called it quits, just before the game, which would then result in your abysmal performance – how they remember that performance as abysmal is completely beyond me, by the way – and lead you to realize that I'm the love of your life and you couldn't possibly live without me. Which is why you've been pursuing me at every chance since, resorting to such extremes as a public serenade and promising to be completely open and honest about your devotion for me."

"Oh wow." Kurt gasps, practically unable to take the tale in and keep walking at the same time.

"Yeah…" Blaine breathes and then chuckles.

"That's quite the love story."

"I know." Blaine nods, and then sighs and shakes his head, "These people should just write novels."

"I… wow… I just…" Kurt is completely flabbergasted by this. He's always been aware of Hogwarts' gossip mill, and sometimes he's guilty of participating in it, too. But he'd never really found himself in the center of it all until last year's game. And_ this_… this is a whole new level.

It's only when Blaine speaks again, startling Kurt back to earth, that he realizes they've been sharing a strange sort of silence.

"Is it awkward?" Blaine asks.

"What?"

"Is it awkward now?" Blaine cringes, and it's sort of adorable, "You know… hang-hanging out with me when all of them think we-"

"No! Not at all." Kurt says before he can help himself. It's not like he could say anything else, anyway, but he didn't mean to mean it.

Blaine swallows in dry and smiles shyly, "No?"

Kurt returns it, attempting to look calm and collected while trying to ease his heartbeat into something a little less silly, "No."

"Good." Blaine nods, taking his eyes off Kurt for a second, nodding to himself and turning back looking a little more confident, "So we're good?"

"We're good." Kurt nods, and then frowns, and asks, "I mean… what do you mean by good?"

Blaine runs his lower lip tight beneath his teeth and cringes again, "I mean, like, if I asked you on a second date… or, you know, something like that. You'd say….?"

"Yes… I'd say yes."

"Oh, good!" Blaine breathes at once, and then cringes, closes his eyes and scrunches up his nose and seems to stop himself just short of a face palm. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat, and looks back to Kurt, his face a picture of composure, "That's good, then."

Kurt laughs and Blaine does too, "Yeah, good."

Blaine lets their chuckles fade out before he looks around himself and then koncks their shoulders together, playfully, "But, just so you know, this is not a date." He says with a cheeky sort of smirk.

"No?"

"No. This is a _prefect patrol_. I don't… this would be a terrible date. I wouldn't date someone who thought walking around cold, grey corridors was an adequate date."

"Right, right…" Kurt laughs, and can't help adding in a whisper he's sure comes out a little huskier than he originally intended, "All those empty corridors with the dark corners and little hidden nooks… Lame…"

"I…" Blaine blushes and seems lost for words again, which Kurt finds is one of his favorite things ever. Dangerous thought, really. But still…

"No, I mean, you're right." He continues, faking nonchalance as he teases Blaine, "Hmm, candle light and flowers. That's the real deal, right?"

Blaine's expression goes from embarrassed to confused, maybe even alarmed, in a split second as he turns to look at Kurt. It lasts two second before he looks away and mumbles, "Huh, right."

Kurt frowns and watches as Blaine keeps walking, expression a little blank. He debates pushing the issue, his mind suddenly racing with a thousand scenarios, connecting the few dots he knows about Blaine and probably missing all the marks, but instead he steps the tiniest bit closer and bumps Blaine's elbow with his own, "What's your favorite flower?"

"I… huh, I don't know." Blaine starts, still looking a little thrown off, but also trying to ignore it and pass it off as nothing. Kurt wonders if there were flowers there when he got attacked. Kurt wonders if he can make him forget about it. Blaine frowns slightly and chews on his lip again before he shrugs, light and easy again, "White roses? Maybe? I don't know. I like simple, classic, and... I… I don't know how to say this without it sounding like a lame pick up line or something, but I, hum, I think it's really beautiful, you know, pure and bright and timeless, and simple but then not simple at all, and kind dangerous with the spikes you always forget about because it's so pretty." he finishes with an embarrassed smile and a cringe.

"Why would that be a bad pick up line, though?"

Blaine laughs to himself, and then shakes his head and glances at Kurt as he chuckles, "Because you're, huh,…"

"Oh."

"Yeah…" He laughs again, clearly at himself, "I hindsight I shouldn't have pointed it out…"

"Yeah, that_ is_ bad…" Kurt teases, hopeful to get Blaine off whatever self-spiting place he'd fallen into.

"Right…"

"But, huh, also kind of sweet. So… thank you…?" he touches their elbows again, and that seems to do it for the most part. Blaine looks up and smiles, genuine this time.

"Are you asking me?" he chuckles, his voice small but amused, "You're welcome?" he chuckles mirroring Kurt's tone.

"Shut up." Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Okay." Blaine laughs and does just that.

Kurt lets the silence settle for a moment. They walk side by side, and their hands are doing that little cliché thing of brushing. Kurt wonders if Blaine's doing it on purpose, because he kind of wants him to.

"So, you like white roses, and I'm like a white rose… right." Kurt starts again, the thought too pleasant for him to let it drop entirely. He knows he's fishing a little, but he's never had anyone say the kind of things Blaine says to him. "If I was a flower, I'd be a white rose...?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Blaine shrugs, still blushing, "Yeah. But I didn't mean it like… it wasn't supposed to be lame. I just… you're… you know, you're… you're high caliber andreallybeautifulandstuff and I jus-"

"Okay- I can- it's a compliment, I think." He interrupts before Blaine combusts into flames from how embarrassed he looks, and glances at him with a questioning smile, receiving an eye roll and a small nod in return. Taking pity on him Kurt smiles and adds, "So, in that case, you're a red rose."

"I… huh, what?"

"Yeah… you're a red rose." Kurt declares again, grinning as he thinks about it, "_You_ are truly classic and, hum… velvety and ric-"

"Velvety?" Blaine frowns with a short, confused laugh.

Kurt continues before he explains, "And rich, a little spikey yourself. Yeah, velvety… like, you know… soft-"

"Soft? Wow, this is getting worse by the second-"

"No!" Kurt gasps, suddenly realizing what it may sound like, given their past conversations, "Like, soft, like… I don't mean like… pushover or-"

"Or fat."

"No, I meant like… you know, like velvet. It's… soft to the touch, it's good to touch"

"Good to touch!" Blaine barks out with a laugh. Clearly he knows what Kurt means, but he's not letting him off the hook that easy. It's probably fair, since Kurt didn't either.

"Oh shut up!" Kurt snaps, his cheeks burning up, "You know what I meant! Red roses are the flowers people give each other to say they're in love and that they care, and that's supposed to be a compliment, okay?" he gets out really fast.

Blaine looks at him for a while, clearly biting his cheek to keep from laughing, "Okay."

"They're, like, _expensive_."

"Okay!" Blaine laughs.

"I mean… It's classic, but it never gets old or boring. And it's… it's rich, but it's never too much… and yes, it's velvety, but it's velvety like, like expensive chocolate, or-"

"Kurt!" Blaine interrupts, too amused for his own good. He steps in front of him and puts a hand on his shoulder. His hand is warm, and heavy, even through Kurt's uniform.

"What?"

"Okay, it's okay." Blaine smiles, his eyes are bright and cheeky, "I get it. I'm expensive. I'm flattered."

"Good." Kurt nods haughtily, "Because I actually really like red roses." He hadn't meant to add that. He shouldn't have said that.

Blaine ducks his head with a bashful grin and pink cheeks. He bites his lip and clears his throat, before he takes his want out of his pocket and produces the most amazingly beautiful red rose, "Here…"

"Oh no, you've already given me a flower." Kurt says, mostly because something in his head is screaming at him to say no, while his entire body itches for it. At some point tonight his head would have to get a say in things, right? He can't lose himself like this. He just can't. "It's my turn, now. And this is not a date."

Blaine's smile doesn't really falter, but he does seem a little taken aback, "It's rude to refuse a gift." He says teasing and light, the way he takes a tiny step back the only thing that betrays his hurt.

Kurt ignores the discomfort it brings him, and tells him just as playfully, "Well, I guess it's something new you know about me, now. Rude."

Blaine laughs, and all but steps away, taking the change in tone and conversation as the cue to resume walking again. As he does he shakes his head, "Wow… this is really _not_ a date."

"No, I think this is good! I think we should know the _bad_ and the good… the later we discover we actually hate each other, the more painful it'll be."

"Right, of course." Blaine smiles, but it's not the same gorgeous, absolutely delighted smile from when he'd produced the rose.

Not allowing himself to think about it or try to bring it back, Kurt knocks their shoulders together and prompts, "So, shoot."

"Shoot?" Blaine frowns.

"I'm rude, and apparently I'm a bully when I lose at Quidditch." Kurt smirks, "You? Tell me about them flaws?"

Blaine laughs, before he props the flower prettily on the hand of a statue. He observes the result, and then picks up the rose again and keeps walking. When he turns back to Kurt he shrugs, "No, I'm perfect."

"Really?" Kurt quirks an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Honest to god perfect. Seriously. It's like god made me and then he was like…" he affects a ridiculous deep voice with a Jamaican accent, "Yeah, this is it, man. This is what I've always wanted to make. He's perfect, man."

"God's Jamaican?" Kurt cackles – it's probably not attractive, but he couldn't quite help himself.

"Why not." Blaine shrugs, his smile cool and collected like a comedian performing his best joke.

Kurt pauses before he lets himself fall back deep into Blaine's charm and wit, and then breathes out and offers, "So, you're cocky…"

"Right." Blaine laughs, and Kurt refrains from pointing out it's that laugh right there that tells him Blaine is the farthest thing there ever was to cocky, "But you knew that already."

"True." He says instead, letting them fall back to silence.

They walk quitely for the rest of the long corridor and their hands only brush once. Kurt's aching and insane enough to think of stepping that much closer to make it happen again. With a thundering heart he lets his feet drive him inches closer, and it really is all it takes. Their hands brush, and while Kurt's breath hitches, Blaine just seems to snap and break the silence.

"Just take the damn rose." He tells Kurt, with a mix of frustration and amusement.

"Thank you." Kurt mutters as he takes the spike-less stem between his fingers.

-x-

He's not quite sure exactly what leads him to Rachel again. Talking to her and asking for her advice turned out spectacularly useless the first time and he doesn't see any reason this should be any different. And yet, he does it anyway.

Instead of going to his own dorm, when he arrives back at the Slytherin common room, he crosses it and yanks the door to the sixth year girls' dorm room. He finds it surprisingly empty, given how long after dinner it is. But seen as he's not feeling up to venture out in a quest for Rachel, and it's a rare gift to have a whole dormitory to talk without being overheard, he plops down on her bed and waits, hoping she'll be the first to show up.

Perhaps the worst part of the whole thing is that, in the silence and solitude, all he can think about is Blaine's smile and his bright eyes. To his dismay he absolutely cannot stop the tip of his fingers from caressing the immaculately silky rose petals – and he truly can't help bringing the flower up to his nose and inhaling deep. It doesn't really smell like a rose, and it's with a start he realizes it smells like Blaine.

He can't stop himself from breathing in again, deeper.

It's at that exact moment that Rachel emerges through the door. Kurt only allows himself two seconds of pause – to see if there's anyone with her – before he blurts out, "I've made the worst mistake of my life."

"What?" Rachel frowns, and then comprehension dawns on her face and she gasps, "Is he that boring?! Because I could've sworn-"

"No!" he shakes and tries not to let himself spill jumbled thoughts he could never take back, "That's the thing. He's not boring. He's not boring _at all_. He's… he's lovely."

"Oh…"

"I can't… I can't do this to him, I just can't. He doesn't deserve it."

"You have actual feelings for him now?"

"No!" he says at once, "I… No! Not like that. I just… He's a good guy."

Rachel gives him a dubious look but chooses not to comment, "So what? He's a good guy, but he's also not a child,… he'll bounce back, and you'll be _captain_."

"No. Rachel, you don't understand. I.. He… He told me _things_. On Saturday…"

Rachel waits for a moment, and then she frowns deeper, "Things?" she asks, sounding slightly exasperated, "What kind of things?"

"Things from his past. Why he missed that year. And I can't tell you, because he wants it to be a secret and he made me promise not to tell anyone, but Rach, it's… it's _bad_."

"Bad?"

"Yeah, and…"

"Someone died bad…?"

"No. I mean… Well, I don't know. I don't think so, but…" Blaine hadn't mentioned what had happened to his friend, but surely if it was _that _bad… "I don't know, but what I do know is that I can't add screwing him over to the list of bad things that happened to him."

"Because he doesn't deserve it." Rachel eyes him.

"Right." He drawls out, squinting at her, daring her to go there.

She bites and tries to hide her smirk, "Not because he would totally hate you forever and never want to talk to you or see you ever again, and-"

"Stop it." he interrupts, and puts a hand over her moth just to make sure. She sighs and rolls her eyes, batting his hand away.

"Okay, so this thing that happened-"

"I can't tell you."

"But was it his fault? Was it… embarrassing or…" She moves a little closer.

"Not at all."

"Then I really don't get it."

"What?"

Rachel shakes her head and looks at the ceiling as if an explanation would be there, "I just don't get it. Why he won't tell people. I mean… for a while there the rumors were pretty bad."

"I know, but he just-"

"I mean forget the dumb thing, forget the squib thing… They were saying he sucked people off so they'd do his homework for him… someone once told me he'd suck professors off for good grades. I mean, he was… he was fifteen, and they were saying that about him, and he prefers _that _to people knowing whatever happened?"

"I… I guess. I think it's insane, too, but it's his choice, and he just didn't want- No, you know what? It doesn't matter. That's not the point. The point is, he's a good person, and sure, I kind of need the captainship, and the win, but… not like this. I just can't."

"Kurt, I don't know what you want me to say… If you don't want to do it, then just don't." Rachel shrugs.

"I can't! If I don't do it Sebastian will kick me off the team. Forget the captainship, he'll make sure I never play Quidditch again, and I need that… I need my backup plan."

"Oh!" She gasps.

"Exactly."

"Fuck."

"So fucked." He breathes letting the hopelessness of the whole thing wash over him like a dark, heavy, wet, cold blanket.

God knows how long they would've stayed like this if the bathroom door hadn't burst open to reveal Santana standing there, skin flushed red and white towels wrapped around her body and hair as clouds of steam surround her, "_So,_ let me get this straight, losers. Hummel made a deal with Smythe that he'd, what…? Screw with Anderson's head so we'd win the game, and in exchange Smythe would make Hummel captain?"

The two can only blink and nod.

"And Hummel agreed and that's why everyone was talking about you serenading Anderson the other night and stuff, and so you two went on a date on Saturday, which everyone was also taking about, by the way, and you actually decided the guy was a decent person, and, don't even deny it, you're into him now, for real. So you don't want to do it anymore, because you'll hurt him and he's a poor sucker that doesn't deserve it, but if you pull out of the whole thing Smythe will kick you off the team and destroy any shot you have at a career in Quidditch, which you need in case you can't get into the transfiguration program at the ministry." She pauses, and eyes them, "Is that all? Did I get everything right?"

"Hmmm." Kurt bites his lip and nods, "Pretty much."

She stares at him for a full minute before she crosses the room slaps his forehead, "Are you an idiot?!"

"What?"

"What the_ fuck_ made you think trying Smythe's brilliant plan was a good idea in the first place? Huh? What the fuck were you thinking? First of all, it's fucking Quidditch, it's a _game_. You don't go around breaking people's hearts because of _games_! Second of all, have you never seen – no, of course you haven't, you pure-bloods, never thinking to step out of your tiny little magic world. So arrogant! Watch a film. ANY film. Read a book! See a play! You know what happens when you try to seduce someone to mess with their heads? You fall for them. And then they find out. And then you're in the shitter. Third of all, where is the fucking dilemma?"

"What?"

"You're into Anderson, so… _date_ him. Sebastian doesn't need to know you're not planning on following through. Say you'll do it, say you'll break up with him the night before the game and then just _don't_. By the time he realizes you didn't do it it'll be too late."

"Oh."

"But seriously, Kurt. I never... Wow…" She shakes her head, "I understand wanting to win, I truly do. But we should win because we're the best, not because we're hurting people. I'd never thought you'd stoop this low. Berry? Sure! Me? _Probably_, not too long ago. But you? You're supposed to be the moral compass around here."

She sighs – the kind of disappointed sigh that Kurt never thought he'd see on Santana. And then she yanks on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and leaves in a near sprint.

"What the…"

Rachel shakes her head, possibly trying to regain composure. But her voice comes out a little breathless still, "She's been a little on edge since the summer…"

"What happened?"

"I think… I'm not sure, but… she's never with Brittany any more. You think maybe… they had a fight and aren't friends anymore?"

It clicks. "I think maybe they were never_ just_ friends, Rachel."

"What?" She frowns, looking between the closed door and Kurt in confusion, "Like best friends? Yeah, that-Oh! You mean like…? _Ohhhhh_, that explains a lot!"

He gives her a smile and a pat on the shoulder, "I'm just gonna go."

She nods, but as he turns the knob she calls, "Wait!", he pauses and turns back, "So, what are you going to do about the whole mess?"

"Well… you heard her." He shrugs, and can't help smiling as he tips the rose as a sort of toast, "I guess I'm going to enjoy having an actual boyfriend," he smiles, and then adds as his cheeks burn, "I mean, if he wants to, that is…"

-x-

It turns out, Blaine is fairly easy to find even in the huge castle. Just follow the books.

Kurt takes a deep, nervous breath as he spots Blaine sharing a corner desk with Sam Evans in the library. It's not that Kurt dislikes Sam Evans – it's that he has the distinct feeling Sam probably dislikes him. He'd have good reason to, probably. And he also undoubtedly advised Blaine against dating Kurt.

But then again, he's Blaine's best friend, so Kurt can't possibly avoid him forever, if he really wants to try for something serious, and it's best to rip off the bandaid.

He clutches his books a little tighter, and walks towards the two boys. They're both hunched over books, quills in hand, scribbling away at parchments, but while Evans has a distinct look of frustration and despair on his face, Blaine only looks mildly bored. They've probably been at it for quite sometime now, but Kurt had Quidditch practice.

Before he can lose himself to inappropriate staring, Kurt clears his throat and asks, "Would you mind if I joined you?"

Blaine looks up and his face breaks out into a grin at once, "Not at all."

Sam is looking around them, possibly noticing all the empty tables, before he covers a laugh with a cough and says, "Go ahead."

"Thanks." Kurt nods, and slides into the seat next to Blaine's.

He glances at Blaine's work and is only surprised for a split second when he notices it's the sixth year Potions textbook. With a smile, he takes out his own and searches for the page he needs to start on his own essay. All the while he silently congratulates himself on a job well-done: he's spending time with Blaine outside their patrols and dates, with other people, and it's not awkward at all.

Possibly because they're in the library so they're not allowed to talk, but still. This is nice.

That is until Sam's voice startles them both, "Do you guys like want me to leave so you can…?"

Blaine seems at a complete loss for words, eyes fleeting between Kurt and Sam, torn between embarrassment and irritation. Kurt eyes both of them for a second before he decides to put Blaine out of his misery, and chuckle lightly, "Not at all. I'm studying… we're all studying, I just thought it'd be nice to hang out with you guys while we were… studying."

"Right…" Sam nods, with an over-the-top agreeing smile.

"So study." Blaine hisses.

Sam holds his hands up in mock surrender and turns back to his book, "I was just trying to help you, dude."

"Study."

Evans snickers but doesn't comment again, and the three of them return to their silent studying. Every once in a while Evans will ask something, Blaine will explain and then they turn back to their own books. When reading turns into essay writing, either three of them will sometimes ask for a synonym for this or that. It's actually one of the most peaceful afternoons Kurt's ever spent in the library – with company at least. Usually, he comes here with Rachel, or Santana or even Mercedes. Surprisingly, of all of those, Santana's the one that understands the concept of silence the best. Which is not to say very well.

"Okay, I'm finished!" Sam breathes after dotting the final period mark with a flourish.

Blaine looks up, "That's not ten inches."

"Yes, it is."

Kurt refrains from commenting, but it's definitely not ten inches.

"Did you conclude?"

Sam makes a face like he's just tasted a particularly sour lemon.

"Samuel, one must conclude every essay one writes."

"But it's stupid because one has written the whole essay already, one should not have to write everything all over again in one paragraph. One's teacher should be able to reach one's conclusions on her own."

Kurt bites his lip to keep from chuckling.

"If one has just spent seven inches discussing the effects of something on something, why does one have to spend another three inches saying that, in short, something as these many effects?"

"That's not a conclusion." Blaine deadpans, "A conclusion is where one says that _something _is a good agent for sleeping potions and such because _something_ has many properties as previously stated."

"Of _course_ something is good for sleeping potions! One has just written a whole essay on how it-"

"So just write the damn thing."

Evan sighs, and hunches back over his parchment scribbling furiously, "I don't get this need of stating the obvious."

"It's somewhat frustrating… I hate conclusions. They're supposed to be implied." Kurt agrees.

"Thank you." Evans nods, while Blaine mutters, "Don't encourage him."

Kurt shoots Blaine a grin, and Blaine returns it before he remembers he's supposed to be scolding them, which makes Kurt laugh. Blaine nudges his foot under the table and pretends to be annoyed as he goes back to his own essay – looking to be verging on 15 inches.

"Hey, Professor Sylvester hates it when people go overboard." He mutters.

"I know." Blaine smiles, "But I asked for five extra inches each essay, so I could try to incorporate sixth year stuff."

"She said yes?"

"She thinks I'm insane." Blaine shrugs with a smile, as if that answers the question. It kind of does.

When Evans announces he's finished for the second time Blaine doesn't point anything else out, and also doesn't make any move to leave while his friends his piling everything into his bag and standing up. "See you later, B."

"Bye."

Kurt's cheeks are burning by the time Evans' has turned the corner and disappeared. He might've been planning on being alone with Blaine when he went looking for him, but after spending a little over an hour with Evans there, it suddenly feels like a lot of pressure. Blaine doesn't say anything though, and just keeps writing, so Kurt does the same thing.

After a while he's managed to almost concentrate on his studying and forget they're alone and that it might be a good opportunity to talk about turning their strange little thing into something more. Or at least of asking for that second official date.

With so many distracting thoughts going through his head, by the time Kurt's finished his essay Blaine has already started on a second and every hope he had of a serendipitous synchronized departure from the library is dashed. Either he makes it happen by asking Blaine to leave with him (or very obviously making time until Blaine's ready to leave), or he leaves alone. He closes his book and puts his things away painfully slow.

It seems, though, that Blaine notices this, despite his insane ability to focus, and looks up, "You're leaving?"

"I'm kind of… done studying… for the day." Kurt mutters as he stands up.

Blaine gives him a smile and nods, "Lucky you." He says with a chuckle, "I still got two essays to work through before dinner, and another one afterward, if I want to get through this week's homework and start on next's beforehand. Thank god we don't have any patrols tonight or I'd be going to bed at two am."

"Oh, shit, that's…"

"Yeah! Listen, you're welcome to stay here with me, but I'll be terrible company, so I promise I won't take offense in you leaving. In fact I advise you to."

"No, I know… You'll be here again tomorrow?"

Blaine grins, and somehow it actually is genuine and happy when he says, "Every single day."

"Right, so, I'll see you tomorrow? Maybe I'll have at least two essays to write then." He jokes and keeps himself from wincing at how lame that sounds.

"Is it bad if I kind of hope you do?" Blaine smiles, scrunching up his nose adorably.

Kurt just shakes his head with an ill-contained grin and starts to walk backwards toward the exit. Blaine doesn't look away, teasing his lip with his teeth and his cheeks slightly pink, until Kurt has turned the corner around the bookcase secluding them.

It's probably that image, burned (hopefully) permanently to his retina that makes Kurt turn back around when he was already halfway to his dorm.

Blaine's chewing on his quill when Kurt finds him again, hand messing up his hair as he rests his head on it.

"Blaine?"

"Kurt!" he gasps, clearly surprised.

"I-I-I was just… huh, wondering, about… that second date we talked about?" He smiles tentatively and enjoys the way a beam spreads immediately over Blaine's tired face, "When might it happen…? Any thoughts on the subject?"

Blaine just keeps grinning for a good five seconds before he says, "Meet me at the Entrance Hall on Friday before dinner. Six pm. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"Okay." Blaine's clearly holding back laughter.

"I'm still coming tomorrow, for the, huh, studying." Kurt adds for some reason completely unbeknownst to him.

"Right. Good." Blaine nods with bright eyes and chuckle.

"Right." Kurt breathes, closing his eyes, and willing his blood to stop rushing to his face, "So, yeah. See you tomorrow." He says, and turns to leave with a deep, shuddering breath. They _both_ like each other, why is this even so hard?

He's pushing the library door open when a hand catches his wrist, and Blaine's _right there_, suddenly impossibly close, biting his lip and whispering "Just… huh… let me…" and then he's leaning in. His other hand comes up to the side of Kurt's face and his movements are slow, and hesitant. If Kurt could move he would surge forward and close the distance between them, but he's so completely in awe of what might be about to happen that the only thing he can do is lean into Blaine's touch and close his eyes.

Blaine's lips press lightly against his at first, like a question, and Kurt actually honest to god nods. He can feel Blaine smiling against the kiss, and that's what finally makes him kiss back, wrap his own hand around the back of Blaine's neck and pull him closer.

It's a short, chaste kiss, but it's enough to leave him breathless, weak at knees and a fluttering stomach.

"I just… I really wanted to do that… so…" Blaine murmurs as he pulls back, and Kurt opens his eyes to find himself staring into Blaine's golden, olive, brown, green… beautiful eyes.

"Yeah, it was… yeah, good thinking." Kurt breathes, and then cringes at once.

Blaine's laugh comes out breathless, "Thanks." He smiles, eyes alight, "I… huh, I should go back… lots to write. But, huh, see you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah."

-x-

They don't kiss again for the remainder of the week, even though they make a daily habit out of studying together in the library after classes or even, in Kurt's case, Quidditch practice. It boils down to a combination of lack of opportunity with, at least on Kurt's part, wanting it to be just as simply, perfectly, adorably spontaneous again. Sam usually stays with them until he finishes his own homework and then is more than happy to not so subtly wink and leave, and on Thursday, when Tina had joins them, very obviously force her to go with him.

Rachel, however, does not seem to share the opinion that the two of them should be left alone. Possibly because she's too busy eyeing them like they're her two favorite new toys. After Kurt met her for dinner, on that First-Kiss-Tuesday, she decided she needed to watch this adorable study group session.

Kurt had threatened bodily harm if she didn't shut up and let Blaine work in peace, and at least she delivered on that. Her eyes though… spent more time dancing between the two boys then they did on the book she was supposed to be reading.

Naturally, it feels more like they're zoo animals, or something to that effect, than a normal human couple and it just… doesn't feel right to kiss.

There are knees bumping, elbows touching and hands brushing, though. On Wednesday, the day after the kiss and the first and only time Kurt allows Rachel to join them, Blaine leans in close, after two hours in the library, and his breath is hot against Kurt's ear as he whispers, "Can you please tell Rachel to stop staring?".

On Thursday Blaine's foot hooks around Kurt's ankle and stays there for the next hour.

By the time Friday rolls around Kurt is more than ready for some alone time with Blaine and quite possibly, a second kiss. Third and fourth wouldn't be too bad, either.

It's six o'clock on the dot when Kurt takes the last step in the staircase leading to the Entrance Hall. It's the first time, since their first date, that he's managed to be the first one there. The sight of Blaine casually leaning against a wall is one he's fond of, but ultimately renders him a little dumb, so he's particularly pleased to not have those ten-ish IQ points docked off.

He spots Blaine hurrying from a corridor next to the Great Hall door, and he's fretting a little bit with his belt buckle. Maybe it's not the casually leaning against the wall thing, after all. Because Kurt still feels something in him become irreparably idiotic, as Blaine comes closer in fitted clothes and bright, beautiful colors that bring out the smile taking over his face the moment he spots Kurt.

"Why, hello, fancy meeting you here." Blaine grins.

"Hi!" Kurt chuckles.

"Shall we go get some dinner?"

"Hmm, sure…" Kurt shrugs, refraining from pointing out that it's still a little early for dinner to be served.

However, when he starts towards the Great Hall, Blaine catches his wrist and smirks, "Oh no, no, no, no."

"No?"

Blaine gives him a little amused look before he shakes his head again, slides his hand down until he's clasping Kurt's, entwining their fingers, and leads him back into the corridor he'd appeared from.

They go down a narrow, discrete flight of stairs and stop in front of a painting of fruit. Blaine reaches forward and tickles the pear. It actually giggles before it turns into a doorknob and Blaine pulls at it. The painting opens like a door and Kurt finds himself looking at the most enormous, fantastic and busiest kitchen he's ever seen. Little house-elves in the cutest little uniforms are bustling around, to and fro, carrying big plates of food, a replica of the four house tables already half filled.

"After you." Blaine's voice pulls him out of his stupor, and he shakes the surprise off himself and steps forward.

"Wow… I didn't know this existed."

"What is it with Hogwarts students and thinking their food comes out of nowhere?" Blaine muses, but there's no meanness behind his words.

"I didn't, I- well… I kind of did." He admits with an eye roll.

Blaine laughs just as a little elf comes over and introduces herself as Minky and offers her services. Blaine asks her politely for dinner and she ushers them to the closest table.

"Hufflepuffs are introduced to this on their first year, usually… If a kid looks like he's having a tough time, homesick or something, we bring the kid here and it's actually a little bit like magic – they perk up like this." He snaps his fingers, "The elves put something in the pumpkin pie, I'm sure."

"Why only you guys?" Kurt glares playfully.

"Well, first of all because our dorms are literally next door." Blaine tells him, amusedly returning his glare, "And second of all because it's… kind of nice to have something not a lot of people know about." He shrugs with a small smile, "Besides, it's not like it's a state secret or anything." He laughs, "I'm hardly the first one to show this to someone else, and I'm sure plenty of other students from the other houses have discovered it. It's mentioned in Hogwarts A History, actually, so it's really not like we're keeping it all for ourselves."

Minky interrupts, laden with piles of food the two boys immediately hurry to help her with, and she beams and thanks him profusely before going back to get the desserts. Because apparently she thinks they can handle eating what Kurt is sure would be enough food to keep Finn satiated for two weeks.

"I hope you don't mind having dinner so early, but I know you have Quidditch practice in the morning, so I had to make sure the date started early and ended at a reasonable hour."

"How considerate of you." Kurt smirks, "But maybe you could've just convinced Mike to give us the best practice timeslots. If you did that, I'd be yours forever."

Blaine laughs, "Tempting…" he sighs, "But Mike would never go for that. You know, he doesn't have the soft spot for you that I have, so I think he wouldn't really see the appeal."

That little admission has Kurt ducking his head and trying to keep his cool. "So," he says, changing the subject, "What else do you have planned that will take so long we had to dine at six?"

"_That_ is a surprise."

"Are we not going to spend the whole night in the kitchen stuffing our faces in delicious food?"

"We can bring it with us…" Blaine shrugs, "If it's that important to you."

"Thank you, I appreciate it!"

"Of course," Blaine nods with a charming smile that makes Kurt laugh and Minky arrives with five different desserts.

"How are you Hufflepuffs not obese?" Kurt gasps, and Blaine chokes on his orange juice, trying not to spit it out amid laughter.

Once he regains control, he speaks very carefully, "It's a little bit like walking a tight rope."

They never stop talking, even while they eat.

-x-

"We shouldn't have had dessert." Kurt groans clutching his full stomach as Blaine leads him through corridors.

"There's something about having the food shoved right in front of your face that just wipes the word no from your vocabulary."

"Yes, it's terrible." Kurt sighs, "Where are we going? I can't move this much after stuffing my face. Did we absolutely have to come to the_ seventh _floor?"

"Almost there." Blaine assuages, "In fact… wait here for a minute, will you? I'll be right back."

"Sure."

Kurt waits as Blaine turns the corner. He listens to Blaine's footsteps echoing way from him and soon enough back towards him, but then away again, and back again, away, back, a door is opened. And finally Blaine bends the corner at a jog, smiling, "Come." Blaine takes Kurt's hand in his and guides him to a door in the middle of the corridor. At once Kurt gasps.

It's been eight years since he's been in one of these, and they were certainly never this beautiful and magnificent, but he'd recognize it anywhere. The seats are made of beautiful red velvet, the walls are intricately golden and brown. The screen is huge…

"It's a…"

"It's a film theatre." Blaine grins, "Well, technically it's the Room of Requirement, but-"

"The Room of what?"

"Requirement. Hardly anyone knows it exists, also because hardly anyone reads Hogwarts, A History. It's a room that only appears when it's needed, with whatever you need of it." he explains, "I asked for a film theatre, so it gave me one."

"Oh…!"

"I, huh, I was thinking maybe we could watch a film together…"

"Oh!"

"I'm not… I don't… I'll understand if you don't want to, I don't know, I just realized it might be an idiotic idea, actually, because your mo- yea, but…"

"No, no, I… I'd love to." He smiles, putting his finger gently against Blaine's lips and then leaning over and pressing his own lips to the other side of it, their lips barely touch but he pulls back smiling and Blaine looks a little dazed, "What kind of film will we be watching, then?"

"I… huh… musical?"

"Alright." Kurt smiles, grabbing Blaine's hand and leading him towards the middle row.

"It's, huh, it's the Wizard of Oz." Blaine says, clearing his throat and letting Kurt guide him towards the seat, "I thought it might be fun to watch it because it's… about magic, but it's so different from, you know, what we know about magic. It's a completely different interpretation of it, and anyway,-"

"Blaine." Kurt interrupts, on the brink of laughter, "It sounds wonderful."

Blaine presses his lips to a fine line and clears his throat, "Right, yeah…. That's… let's." he twists slightly in his seat and flicks his wand towards the back of the room, and as the film starts the lights go out.

It's a testament to how fantastic the film is that Kurt manages to pay it any attention. Blaine is sitting right next to him, they are holding hands and it's dark and cozy. For the first ten minutes of it Kurt turns to stare at Blaine a lot, but the other boy just glances back and then shakes his head and juts his chin towards the screen. Each time Kurt turns back to it begrudgingly, each time it takes him a little bit longer to ignore the film. It's not that he forgets Blaine's there, while he watches, it's that he relaxes into watching it_ with_ Blaine. They have all the time in the world for kisses, and for now he can take the time to appreciate this thing his date wants him to see.

So, he pays attention. And boy, does he love it. The story is absurd in how it treats magic, but maybe that's just another thing to make it so funny. And the girl… the girl has a voice…

"Judy Garland has a miracle for a voice, am I right?" Blaine murmurs as she sings in magical tones.

"Wow… just wow…" Kurt breathes.

When the film segues into its final credits, Kurt just sits there taking it in. He knows Blaine's staring at him, he can see him grinning from the corner of his eye, but it's just one of those moments he's almost afraid to break. He's just experienced something fantastical, and he has a pretty spectacular guy looking at him like he truly wants him; like he wants to impress Kurt, and show him nice things and make him smile.

He's about to take a deep breath and let go of that one _perfect_ moment when Blaine surges and kisses his cheek. Kurt's breath catches halfway down his chest, and then Blaine goes again. He kisses the corner of Kurt's mouth this time, and it gets Kurt back on track. He turns to his side and catches Blaine's lips in his.

They kiss for a long time. Hands caress cheeks, jaws, necks, shoulders and backs. Blaine's kisses are so deliciously slow and gentle that they always leave Kurt yearning for that little bit more. He buries his fingers in Blaine's hair and lets the kiss turn a little dirty, biting on Blaine's lip.

It elicits the cutest, most delicious little moan out of him, and Blaine pulls back and lets his forehead drop to Kurt's shoulder with a red cheeks and a chuckle. There's a pause, and then he turns back up, pressing his lips in small kisses all over Kurt's face.

There's something about that, about having Blaine so earnest in his movements, so tender, so careful and yet so simple and unassuming… There's something about that that leaves Kurt entirely and completely breathless.

"I'm so…" Kurt starts without thinking, and stops himself when he realizes just what he was about to blurt out.

Blaine pulls back when Kurt doesn't continue; he smiles, heaving, with red lips, bright eyes and messy hair, "Yeah?"

_I'm so incredibly in love with you_. "H-happy. I'm so happy. Right now."

He decides not to think about the complete insanity of his heart right now. He has more important things happening – Blaine's smiling like he's just watched the sun rise for the first time in his life. His eyes are wide and his cheeks a little pink

"Oh!" he gasps, "Really?"

"Yes."

"Me too!" Blaine breathes and lets Kurt pull him back in for a kiss. He keeps it strong, but short, lest he lose himself in the moment again.

"Let's watch another one."

"What?" Blaine frowns even though he's laughing. He checks his watch, "You have Quidditch practice in the morning, Kurt. I don't want anyone accusing me of sabotaging you guys."

Kurt's heart skips a beat, but he keeps his smile and ignores it as best as he can. "I really don't care about that right now." He tells Blaine with as much seriousness as he can muster at the moment (not a lot), and sits back towards the screen.

"No?"

"We're on a date and I'm not ready for it to be over, so we'll watch another film, please."

Blaine laughs and kisses his cheek, "Anything you say."

-x-

It's four in the morning by the time they're kissing each other through hushed, giddy goodbyes, Blaine walking him to Slytherin's common room door on the premise that he'd organized this date so he got to be the gentleman, to which Kurt made him promise to let him organize the next one. Blaine certainly hadn't fought him on that, and they'd kissed some more. There's a tingling feeling in his body, almost like he's drunk, when Kurt stumbles into the common room.

He allows himself four seconds of the lean-against-the-wall-and-sigh-longingly cliché.

"Someone got lucky."

He yelps and jumps out of his skin.

Santana is lying on the sofa, in the dark, just being generally creepy, apparently.

"Santana, what the fuck, you scared the shit out of me."

"Oh no." she deadpans. "So did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Get lucky?" she smirks.

He stutters. He knows what she means by lucky, and he certainly doesn't really want to give her the satisfaction of an answer. But then, on the other hand, she might actually be the person who most deserves his gratitude and respect as far as his love life is concerned. And also, maybe even his sympathy.

"Not in the way you're asking, no."

"Lame…!"

"No, it was… it was pretty amazing. We just… we watched some films, and we talked… like a lot. About the films, about… I don't know, just so many things. I think the only reason we actually decided to call it quits was because we were both practically sleeping our way through the third film."

"That's… huh…" she doesn't say anything and the silence that settles instead is awkward and heavy.

"Listen, San. I… I want to thank you." He tells her, stepping as close as he dares, lest she decide he's being a sap, "For, you know, talking some sense into me. It meant a lot to me. I don't know what I was thinking before, but you're absolutely right. Blaine didn't deserve what I was doing to him. But I really, really like him, and for some reason he seems to like me back, so I… of course you were right."

"Yes, well, it's been known to happen. Don't act so surprised."

"And for the record." He adds, hoping he's not completely overstepping and ruining the whole thing, "You deserve this, too. You know, being happy with someone that makes you happy. Whoever they might be."

"Right."

"I don't know what went wrong this summer, but… if you want to talk about it…"

"Thanks." She says, her voice clipped almost interrupting him as she stands to leave, "I'm gonna go and see if the she-hobbit has stopped snoring so I can sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I- yeah. Goodnight."

"Night." She disappears up the stairs.

-x-

As promised, Blaine lets Kurt take control of their third date. And seen as it's the third, after another full week of study "dates" in the library where they allow themselves a quick kiss to say hello and another to say goodbye, Kurt decides to go as romantic as they come. It's something he knows he struggles with, the idea of romantic gestures and big declarations – he's always sort of liked them in theory but never thought he'd have the guts to make them happen and put himself like that on the line. A fake serenade is one thing, but an actual gesture for his actual (hopefully) boyfriend is another. The thought leaves him a little scared.

But then again, if there's one thing this whole mess with Blaine has taught him is that if you don't challenge yourself, then nothing worthwhile is ever going to happen.

And besides, their second date had been phenomenal, but they spent at least half of it looking at something else rather than each other, and he thinks that maybe tonight that ought to be remedied.

It's not like he goes completely overboard or anything. He makes sure to tell Blaine to meet him in the Room of Requirement at 6. He got some food from the kitchens, and walked past the wall three times,

_I need flowers, I need candles, I need romance. I need flowers, I need candles, I need romance. I need flowers, I need candles, I need romance._

As he opens the door his breath all but fades. For about a full minute he can't even make himself go in there. It's not until a voice behind him gasps, "Wow" that he manages to move.

Blaine's right behind him, his cheeks a full-blown red as he stares at the room in front of them like he's staring at the bottom of a very, very tall cliff.

Kurt gasps, "Oh, hi!"

"Hi…!" Blaine says back, after swallowing in dry, and offering a breathless smile.

"I… I asked for candles, and flowers, and romance…"

"Yeah, right, no, it – it certainly delivered." Blaine chuckles nervously, still staring at the room. It's full of red and white roses scattered everywhere, and little candle lights floating through the air – so many of them that they light up the whole room. There are crimson plush, velvet cushions and blankets on the ground, and nothing else.

"I… I just… Hum, so let's eat…?"

"Right, yeah, sure!" Blaine nods, shaking his head and clearing his throat before he takes the box from Kurt's hands and goes inside.

Kurt closes the door while he watches Blaine gingerly sitting down on a pillow and putting carefully down. He sits in front of Blaine, box between them, and tries to think of something to break the sudden, strange awkwardness enveloping them.

So much for the advantages of challenging yourself.

Amidst the many topics that could've been chosen, though, Kurt's mouth must be set on embarrassing him thoroughly tonight.

"Are we boyfriends?" is, honest to god, what comes out.

"Oh!" Blaine stops with a slice of quiche halfway to his mouth, "Huh…"

"Never mind, I didn't – I just… It…" he mimics words falling out of his mouth like vomit – attractive, truly -, and that at least gets Blaine smiling again – not the embarrassed, anxious smile he had on before – the real one, "You don't have to answer."

"I don't mind answering." Blaine shrugs, and then he lets his eyes fall to his hands for a moment before he glances up and shrugs a little bashful, "I'd like to be your boyfriend… If that's… something you'd want. I mean, if you're offering."

"I am. I mean, I want that. I mean, being boyfriends, I'd like that." He finishes with a chuckle, rolling his eyes and pressing blissfully cool hands to his burning cheeks.

Blaine laughs again and moves to his knees so he can lean over the box of food and press their lips together. He pulls back grinning and winks, "I think you're an adorable boyfriend."

Kurt tries not to smile at that, and kind of fails, but they find their way back to the food, and eventually Blaine does come up something good to talk about, explaining all about how the Room of Requirement, and how he used it as a safe haven for most of last year because it was the only place he could actually listen to muggle music or watch muggle films and forget about every name the student body was calling him that week.

He doesn't seem particularly angry or emotional about it, he speaks with a smile on his face, like someone talking about a good friend that was there for the rough patches.

Lit by candles, Blaine's eyes turn a mesmerizing shade of golden and Kurt is this close to declaring this the best date ever, despite the initial shock. It was a damn good recovery, he concedes as the conversation eventually turns to cheerful topics, which evolves into teasing, which turns to tickling with turns to making out. Horizontal style.

He has Blaine on his back, one hand cupping his cheek, as his lips travel alongside his jaw and neck. Blaine's breathing is erratic, sounding like all sorts of amazing and Kurt tells him exactly that. In response he gets a sort of nervous chuckle, to which Kurt can only kiss him, deeply and dirty in a way that he hasn't ever before. He lets his body press deeper as he kisses. Blaine's hands feel a little lost, fickle as they hover uncertainly over Kurt's back, and, with a speeding, thundering heart, Kurt takes one of them and guides it down to his ass.

And that's when it all blows up.

In a split second, without knowing how it happened, Kurt is sprawled on his back and Blaine's stumbling away from him, barely managing to get back to his feet. His face is beyond red and when he finally manages to stand and turn back to Kurt, arms wrapped tight around himself, there's sudden tears in his eyes as he stutters, "I'm sorry- I just – I can't- I'm – I can't! I'm- I gotta go! I'm sorry! I gotta – I can't!"

With that he sprints out of the room and Kurt is left reeling, staring after him and absolutely clueless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4, With The Deep Dark Secrets**

Blaine has to stop halfway to the common room and just get some part of himself in control again because if he keeps going he's just going to stop breathing altogether and pass out.

"This is not like before. This is not like before. This is _nothing_ like before." He chants under his breath, but somehow it's completely futile, and his chest keeps heaving and tears keep pouring. "Goddammit." He sobs kicking the stupid wall before he lets his body slide against it and pool, limp and useless on the cold floor.

The rational part of his brain is just not making itself heard right now and he can't make everything else quiet down, so he just lays there and hopes that sooner of later exhaustion will drive the panic and the nausea away.

It's only when he hears hurried footsteps and Kurt's voice calling his name that he remembers he's in the middle of a corridor, just basically waiting to be caught looking like a complete mess. That's the only thing that snaps him back into action.

Out of sheer humiliation he scrambles and slips into the closest empty room, locks it just in case, and waits until the sound of Kurt's footsteps has disappeared before he comes out again and drags himself the rest of the way to the Hufflepuff common room, even though it's the last thing he wants – to be in a room full of people who'll wake up if he gives into his stupid, irrational panic again.

How is he going to explain this?

He's going to have to tell the truth, isn't he?

The one secret he hasn't told anyone. Not even Sam, not even Wes… not anyone. The one thing no one knows… well, except…

-x-

_Blaine,_

_What happened? I'm so confused right now? Was I moving too fast? Because I don't mind turning down the dial, if that's what you need! I just really don't understand what happened yesterday. I'm_ _a mess right now. I'm so worried. Please tell me I didn't ruin everything._

_Kurt_

-x-

Blaine doesn't manage any sleep, so to say he woke up at six am to the rustling of a little house elf leaving a small envelope on his bedside table would be a lie. He pretends to sleep until the elf slips away and then he forces himself to read the note that will surely leave him feeling even worse.

His eyes burn as he shoves the small piece of parchment back inside the envelope and buries himself deep in his covers. This is ridiculous. He can't decide which is worse, reliving that one night a year ago, or reliving last night and facing how stupidly and easily he freaked over _nothing_.

Kurt must think he's some special brand of lunatic right now.

And when Blaine tells him everything – which he probably will have to – he'll think he's an idiot too.

He tries to stay cocooned in his blankets for as long as possible, but if there's anything you can trust of Sam is that he'll eventually grow tired of waiting for you and yank you out of bed, regardless of your clear intentions to be left alone.

"Dude, you look like shit." Sam tells him once Blaine finally sits to the side of his bed and ponders why he gave into his best friend's urgings.

"Thanks." He mutters. Grabbing the jeans at the foot of his bed and pulling them on in careless tugs.

"You okay?"

Blaine shrugs, "I don't want to talk about it."

"It doesn't really work like that, B. I kind of need to know if it was Hummel, because it was date night yesterday and I can actually connect the dots,"

"Contrary to popular opinion." Blaine adds even thought it falls flat when he doesn't even have the energy to make it sound teasing or amused.

Sam ignores the jab and powers through, "So, either you tell me something, or you let my brain run wild,"

"And we all know that's not a good thing,"

"Ever,"

"Right."

"Right."

Blaine nods, and then takes a deep breath and shakes his head, "It's nothing." He rolls his eyes, and stands up as he buttons up his pants, "It's… I mean, it's not _nothing_, but it's not his fault, so." He shrugs.

"That's like zero information right there."

Blaine groans, "We, hum, did stuff yesterday and it touched a sore spot-"

"What?!"

"Oh, god, that sounded way worse when I said it out loud. But… you know, he didn't hurt me or anything, and I… Listen, Sam, all you need to know is that what's bothering me is completely in the past." He puts on his shoes in tight, strong movements, "It's so in the past that I thought I was completely over it. It seems I'm not, but I can deal with it, and I just need to talk to Kurt and get things back on track, because I totally freaked out on him last night, and he's probably super confused, so…"

"Still no-"

"Sam, please." Blaine breathes, picking up the first clean sweater he can find; "I wouldn't ask you to drop it if I really didn't mean it. You can't help me this time, and I don't even need to talk it over or just… I need to forget about it. So… please?"

Sam is looking at him like he wants to protest – he fills his cheeks up with air and holds it in for probably half a minute, during which he just holds eye contact between them, and squints suspiciously. Finally, he lets it out, clears his throat, shakes his head and says, "Of course, B, whatever you need."

"Thanks."

"Anytime," Sam squeezes his shoulder, "Do you wanna grab breakfast with me?"

"No, I'm really not hungry." Blaine sighs, "I'm just gonna go find Kurt."

Sam nods and leaves without another word, and Blaine is left alone with the sudden urge to crawl back into bed and avoid his entire life. Instead he grabs a coat and makes his way to the Quidditch pitch.

Lest he be accused of spying, he waits outside and not on the stands. He sits on the grass after making sure it's not too humid from the morning dew. He picks on little pieces of grass and then feels guilty about it. And then he thinks of how stupid it is to feel guilty about it. And then he wonders if he always comes across as this much of a goody two shoes, puppy loving, rainbow puking, self-righteous hobbit. No wonder Kurt used to hate him.

And then he scoffs at himself because this is ridiculous. He's not this person anymore. He's not supposed to be this person, anymore.

That's about the time when the Slytherin Quidditch team starts filtering out of the changing rooms. He doesn't look at them, couldn't possibly. He knows Kurt will see him and come over.

Kurt's the last one out, apparently, a good two minutes after everyone else has left, his boots coming slowly into Blaine's field of vision, right in front of him, and just as he looks up Kurt's crouching down to meet him on his level, "Blaine…"

"I'm so sorry."

"I… It's… it's okay. I just… I need to know what happened there. Because I really didn't like that I put you in that state."

Blaine breathes and his heart sinks, "It wasn't you…" he mumbles, whatever small glimmer of hope he had that Kurt would agree to drop the subject gone, "I'm not entirely sure I can… just tell you… or… I mean, I can. I will. But…"

"I can wait." Kurt says softly, as he takes Blaine's hand and pulls him up, "Let's just get away from all of it." he smiles cautiously as he guides Blaine towards the pitch, up the stairs to the stands. They walk silently, making their way to the highest seats. The wind is cold and whipping up here, but Blaine kind of likes it.

"So I freaked." Blaine starts.

"Yeah, I gathered that."

"It wasn't you. I- It wasn't your fault. You weren't moving too fast or anything – I mean, maybe you were, I don't know. I couldn't – I… shit. Maybe I should just start from the start?"

Kurt frowns. He doesn't look angry or disappointed. He just looks worried. "Is it… is it something really bad?"

"I…" Blaine breathes, and shrugs, "I don't know. I… I never told anyone. I was… I guess it's humiliating, if anything. And… I sort of feel like an idiot for making such a big deal out of this. But… I guess…" _You're not that person anymore – the person who lives for other's expectations_. "I guess it's bad for me. Even if everyone else thinks it's stupid, _I_ think it's… bad."

"Okay…" Kurt gets out slowly. He puts his hand over Blaine's, "Do you not want to tell me?"

"No, I… I mean, I don't. But I also want you to understand, because I don't want last night to happen again, so maybe you should know, so."

"So…" Kurt nods and kisses his cheeks gently, "so, start at the start."

Blaine gives him a feeble smile and avoids the temptation of just chasing Kurt's kisses and ignoring this whole thing. "_So_. Last year when I came back and there were those rumors spreading about me, I… I guess I could handle it mostly because I surrounded myself with people who knew those weren't true. Who I never even had to tell the truth for them to know none of the stories were true." His heart is racing, and he wishes it would just stop already. Why can't he just let this go? Why can't he forget about it already?, "And, huh, one of those people was, huh," _Say it. Say his name. Say it._, "A boy. And he was… so understanding, and so… kind, about all of it. I never told him what happened, but he never asked me to. He said he understood even if he didn't know. It really felt like he had my back, and… I don't know, it felt… like he cared about me. I thought he did. He told me he did. He kissed me, and he… well, one night he filled a classroom with flowers and candles, just like last night, and I was… so impressed…" he almost laughs at that, "And we started kissing, and making out, and… _you know_…"

"I… I'm not… you had sex…?" Kurt asks carefully, clearly trying not to inflect his voice with any reaction to the idea.

"Well, I… I guess. If you… The definition isn't – I, well… Igavehimablowjob." Blaine mutters, certain that if he says the words really fast they sting less, "And the next day, because apparently the world works like that – the very _next_ day I overheard him talking to some friends of his. About me. Telling them about how I… huh, you know, huh, gave him … head… saying I did it just so he'd do my homework for me, and showing them the hickeys as evidence… I just… I was mortified."

"Oh…"

"I just… I didn't even… I couldn't even confront him about it, afterwards. The rumors just kept spreading, and slut got added to the list, right after_ retard_, and I couldn't even… I just… I was sure if I so much as paused to think about it for one second I'd never stop. So, I never talked to him again. Ever."

"He… He's still a student here?"

Blaine kind of feels like gagging. _Ridiculous, Blaine, you're just a big ridiculous baby_. "Yeah… Actually."

"Blaine." Kurt says, his voice suddenly dead serious. Careful, tender, sweet even, but also authoritative, "Who is it?"

He shakes his head and avoids the temptation of looking back towards the castle, where Kurt's team has probably already disappeared into, "You don't… You don't need to know."

Kurt looks at him for another long moment and then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, "I already know." He whispers, like it's some kind of personal defeat. Exactly what Blaine wanted to avoid.

"Kurt…!" Blaine gasps as Kurt practically jumps out of his seat and starts down the stands, "Kurt, don't! Please! Stop!" Blaine manages to catch a hold of Kurt's elbow, but the other boy just keeps taking two steps at a time and Blaine just stumbles after him.

"It was Sebastian, wasn't it?!" he calls over his shoulder, his voice filled with rage and disgust.

"Kurt!"

Kurt lets Blaine still him and turns back to him. There are angry tears in his eyes, "Wasn't it?!"

"Y-y-yes." Blaine gasps, frowning, suddenly lost for words or reaction, "Kurt, I-"

"I'm gonna kill him. I am going to _kill_ him." Kurt mutters through gritted teeth, wiping angrily at his cheeks and turning back to sprint his way to the castle.

"Kurt please, just stop!" Blaine takes off after him, breathless and completely confused, "KURT!" he just keeps running, almost off the pitch now, "KURT, I'm begging you! STOP!"

Kurt slows down enough that Blaine manages to catch his wrist and pull him back. They stand breathless for a long time, staring at each other and waiting for the words to come back to them.

"Kurt, please. I'm humiliated as it is."

"What? No. You don't – he's the one-"

"Kurt. He made a fool out of me. But at least no one knows it. Or if they do, they don't think it's true anymore. Finally! Finally no one's calling me anything but my actual name! I'm just… I want to forget about it. I want to pretend like it didn't happen. That's what I need. And if you care about me _at all_, I beg you to please respect that. Just let it go." He breathes, his voice cracks and he hates himself for it all over again, "You can think I'm a coward, or a pushover and you can even dump me for not standing up for myself the way I should have… I'll understand if that's how you feel, but I _can't _bring it all back up again. I was a stupid kid who thought big romantic gestures were true love, and I was naïve and desperate and…"

"Vulnerable, hurt, helpless." Kurt says, like he's trying prove a point.

"Exactly." Blaine breathes, "And I fell for it, and I felt dirty and humiliated for months, because, I… I honestly thought he was… That he… cared about me, that we…" Blaine stops and lets the words get stuck in his throat before he swallows them back down and chooses new ones, "_that_ was the worst thing out of everything that year. And it's just so ridiculous, because how many people out there lost their virginities to idiots? And they're fine… They didn't cry themselves to sleep over it. They moved on."

"Blaine…"

"And I will, too. I have. I did. I'm over it. I just... It was too much like that night. And I know it's not like that. I know you're not Sebastian, and you're not… going to make me feel like that, but it was an irrational moment."

"Blaine… He needs to-"

"I'm over it, I really am." He says it like it's a period mark at the end of an essay. He hopes Kurt gets that.

"Blaine." Kurt breathes, stepping closer. His eyes are pleading for something, and Blaine really wishes he could give it to him, whatever it is. But he just can't.

"Please." Blaine shakes his head, wrapping his arms tight over himself and feeling absolutely no better for it, "Just let it go."

"I… Okay." He sighs, and steps closer, "It's gone. I promise." Kurt nods, making sure their eyes meet, he smiles tentatively before he wraps his arms around Blaine's shoulders. As Blaine hugs back relief washes over their bodies like a tidal wave and they stand like that for a long time.

"Thank you…" Blaine mumbles into the crook of Kurt's neck, and the other boy just nods in return and hugs a little tighter.

"For the record," Kurt says as he pulls back, "I don't think you're a coward. I think you're unbelievably brave."

Blaine just gives him disbelieving chuckle and mutters, "No need to condescend me."

"I'm not condescending you. I genuinely think that." Kurt says, very serious, with such intensity in his eyes that Blaine needs to look away, "If I'd been through what you've been in the last couple of years, I wouldn't be dating _at all_, let alone letting some idiot who was a jackass to me be my boyfriend."

Blaine gives him a small little smile as he bites his lip and scrunches up his nose, "You had a jackass moment," he shrugs, "You're not a jackass."

"I had more than one."

"I guess maybe you're just that irresistible." Blaine chuckles, stepping very, very close and touching their noses in an adorable little nudge.

Kurt kisses him soundly, clearly getting the message that the subject needs to be changed.

"So…" Kurt starts afterwards, "Now that we're definitely _not_ breaking up after one day of officially being together, for our fourth date, how about you accompany me to Hogsmeade?"

Blaine lets his stomach and heart settle back to their usual paces, and his smile grow back to its usual size, or at least close to it, "That would be lovely." He sighs. He's still exhausted, but it honestly feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he can breathe properly again.

"So, it's a date."

"I'll have to check with Mike, because I think he wanted to have an extra practice that afternoon, seen as_ our_ big game is the next day, dearest _enemy _boyfriend."

"Oh, is it? I'd forgot!" Kurt makes a show of confusion and Blaine's laughter comes easy.

"Sure you did!"

-x-

If the school had a rumored unofficial idea of their relationship, not it seems that it's certified. Where it used to be quick, little kisses in the library, now Kurt has taken to surprising Blaine between classes, pressing strong kisses to his cheeks and lips before taking his hand and walking him to class – which Blaine is more than glad to reciprocate, of course. He's also decided to have lunch at the Hufflepuff table – Blaine offers to alternate between their two tables but Kurt just shakes his head (he doesn't say it, but Blaine knows he doesn't want Blaine sharing the same table as Sebastian).

It's actually pretty fantastic. Well, Blaine isn't exactly sold on having his personal life on display for free interpretation (for the second time in two years), but this time it's mostly positive chatter and he can't deny that it's nice to walk hand in hand with Kurt and spend more than a few hours studying together. These sort of small gestures get Blaine wondering how anyone ever prefers big ones over a constant, happy trickle of romance.

He might only feel that way because big gestures were completely ruined for him, where he used to dream about flower filled rooms, and public serenades, and magnificent words, but, in the end, as he accepts solitary, discreet flowers from Kurt, and enjoys his gentle, genuine kisses he thinks it might actually have been for the best. Big gestures are insecure – big gestures have something to prove, maybe even something to lie about. Small gestures? They're there because they want to be there. Blaine's glad to know that now.

He tells Kurt that, and while he doesn't say it exactly, Blaine understands that it was the exact reasoning behind the sudden change – understanding that Blaine would've preferred it this way after everything that happened. The thought makes him grin and make sure to go up to the owlery and send Kurt a note saying "_You're my favorite boyfriend!_". He watches Kurt receive it and read it over breakfast all those tables away. Kurt looks up at him, grinning and laughing, before he shakes his head and scribbles something down. Blaine barely lets him finish writing before he summons the note.

"_I hope I'm your only boyfriend_!" the word only is underlined three times. Blaine just looks over to Kurt and shoots him his brightest grin with a wink.

Sam, Mike and Tina seem sold on Kurt, too – having definitely decided he's worth Blaine's time and fully supporting their relationship. Their attentive eyes have turned affectionate and even a little teasing sometimes. Even Rachel Berry seems a new fixture in Blaine's life, and she's not as obnoxious as he would have guessed. She makes it a point to stop and say hi when they cross paths on the corridor, and ask if he needs any notes or books for his studying, and each time, when he declines with a smile, she returns it bright and proud, and more than once tells him she's really impressed by what he's attempting to do.

"Don't let anyone tell you you can't do it! You're the only one who gets to decide what you can and can't do! And, Blaine, you're a wizard – you can do _anything_." Her cheerful, encouraging words are usually accompanied by a hug, and by the second time it happens Blaine's over the shock, and hugs her back with a cheerful thank you.

The only reaction he's not entirely sold on is Santana Lopez who just stares at him a lot. Blaine wonders if she's mad at Kurt for dating Blaine – if the problem is that he's on an opposing Quidditch team, if it's that he's a Hufflepuff, or if it's that he's a boy. Sometimes he dares to stare back and she usually looks away without even bothering to hide it. The few times he talks to her, when he goes to meet Kurt and she's with him, they keep it at hello and goodbye. He shares his concerns with Kurt on their Wednesday night patrol and Kurt goes silent for a moment before he shakes his head and says, "She has zero problems with you. Or us. In fact I'd go so far as to say she actually likes you and the concept of us being together."

Blaine scrunches up his nose and shakes his head, "I don't believe you."

"She's not an easy person, Blaine. And she's not cuddly. Or nice." Kurt shrugs, "But she doesn't hate you."

"Huh." Blaine concedes, even if not entirely convinced.

Kurt side eyes him and then laughs and shakes his head. Blaine reaches over to take Kurt's hand and pull him close until their shoulders brush as they walk, and they keep their silence as they go through the empty, dark corridors.

They haven't talked about Blaine's Awful Secret again, but Blaine's hard pressed to stop thinking about it. Whenever they fall into a silence like this, even if he knows it's just their usual comfortable silence where they just enjoy each other's company without need for more, he can't help spiral down into a world of self-doubt and dangerous trains of thought. He vacillates between wondering if Kurt thinks he's infantile and idiotic for making such a big deal out of a botched first time and trying to calculate how long it'll be before he's honestly and truly over it. He wonders if Kurt will get sick of waiting if it's not soon enough. He wonders if he can trick his mind into being over it – he wonders if the reason he freaked out so royally was simply because the circumstances were basically the same; so he wonders if he were to drastically change those, take away all the flowers, the candles, the faux romance, if then he could easily take all those steps with Kurt without ever flashing back to a year ago and the acid bitter taste in his mouth when he had his head down a toilet the very second Sebastian and his friends closed the bathroom door behind themselves.

For now, the only thing Blaine can do is make sure there's nothing to talk about in regards to that. He needs to ensure Kurt doesn't think Blaine is having trouble with that kind of thing. He needs to ensure Kurt doesn't get worried and bring it up again, because he needs to never have that conversation again.

Just like their previous patrol on Monday night, tonight they're deep into the maze-like corridors of Hogwarts when Blaine smirks and makes a show of wanting to check the back of a statue – _because kids these days, they find the most insane little places for illicit activities_ – and dragging Kurt along to it. In a swift, smooth movement that makes Kurt gasp and chuckle, he has the other boy pressed against the smooth back of the statue and their lips together. Kurt never takes too long surrendering and they forget all about patrolling and prefect duties as they kiss for what could be hours.

_**This**__ is so easy_, Blaine thinks, _**this**__ is perfect_. So can one really blame him for hoping that when eventually this isn't enough anymore, everything else will be just as easy and he'll never have to worry again?

Kurt lets his arms rest on Blaine's shoulders, one hand lazily buried in his hair, while Blaine holds him close by the waist and their kisses deepen.

A throat clears next to them and they yank themselves apart amidst yelps and jumps. Blaine's heart is in his mouth when he turns around, only to find himself face to face (or yet, face to chest) with Professor Beiste.

"Oh my god!" he breathes.

"Boys, this… isn't… well…" She looks about as embarrassed as them. Her cheeks are a deep shade of red and her eyes are fleeting, "I'm… I should probably separate you-"

"Please don't!" Blaine blurts out and then cringes at the desperate edge to his voice. He forces himself to breathe before he says, "We promise we won't… get distracted again, but we can't get any alone time otherwise. If you separate us-"

"You know Blaine's swamped with schoolwork." Kurt supplies.

Blaine trailing off right where Kurt leaves off, "And between that and prefect duties, and-"

"Not even being in the same year-"

"We spend most of our dates in the library studying-"

"It's ve-"

"Boys!" Professor Beiste interrupts their joint stream of consciousness, still red faced but finally capable of looking them in the face, "It's fine. It's okay. Keep the patrols. Just. _Patrol_. And, huh, five points from each of your houses."

"Yes, Professor." They say at once, and she just looks at them, a slight panic to her eyes, before she spins on her heel and practically jogs her way out of there, shaking her head.

They're left staring after her, chests heaving, hairs a mess, and jaws slack.

"Holy shit…" Kurt breathes after she's disappeared.

With that Blaine can't help himself. He bursts out laughing. He doubles over and clutches his stomach and he just roars with laughter. He's on his knees, wheezing by the time he manages to get a grip on himself. Kurt's sat down next to him by now, chuckling and looking at Blaine like he's a little bit insane.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…!" Blaine mumbles, "it's just… she must be so confused,…!" he cackles, "Last time she spoke with us we couldn't stand each other." He whimpers and bites his lip to keep from bursting out laughing again, "And now we're sucking faces."

"Do you think she thinks we were playing her?" Kurt whispers and Blaine laughs some more.

"I don't know, we'd have to be really good actors, cuz that was some hate you had for me there."

"You hated me too." Kurt clicks his tongue and scoffs.

"Absolutely not." Blaine chuckles and shakes his head; "I never hated you for a second. I only ever liked you. You know that. I told you that."

For some reason that catches Kurt off guard and he deflates visibly, "I… I'm just… I'm sorry." Kurt cringes, "For all of that."

Blaine rolls his eyes and crawls closer, "You're here with me now." He grins and tries to kiss Kurt – he fails miserably because it's really hard to kiss someone while you're beaming, "That's literally all that matters."

"Thank you."

"You do like me now, don't you?" Blaine pulls back, still giddy and giggling.

"I… yeah, of course… I… I _really_ like you, Blaine Anderson." Those words, said out loud with such visible candor, ignite a thrilling fire in Blaine's chest.

He grins, "I really,_ really_ like you, Kurt Hummel." He crawls even further into Kurt's space, until he's straddling his lap, and he kisses him again. He feels Kurt completely melting under his touch and his lips, and the thought makes him even bolder. Emptying his mind of anything that isn't Kurt and his wonderful body, he lets his hips press down on Kurt's.

"Blaine…" Kurt breathes between gasps, "…Professor…"

"One day…" Blaine tells him between kisses, "We won't be in a corridor… and we'll be alone… and there'll be no reason to stop…"

"Blaine…!"

"I'm looking forward to that day…" Blaine breathes as he kisses Kurt's ear, nibbling on the lobe, "Just so you know."

"I… Hmm." Kurt lets Blaine kiss his neck very thoroughly before he pulls back, and frames Blaine's face in his hands. He locks their eyes before he says, "You have nothing to prove to me, okay?"

"I…" Blaine freezes. He doesn't understand how this can feel so suffocating, even as Kurt looks at him with nothing but kind understanding in his eyes. The stark reminder that Kurt still thinks about it, that Kurt knows about it – the realization that Kurt will always remember it, and consider it when thinking about Blaine and their relationship together… it leaves him in some sort of panic.

"You don't have to make anything up to me, okay?"

"I… it's not…"

"It is." Kurt nods, "But it's fine. I'm not… I'm okay. I want you at whatever pace makes you comfortable."

"I… I'm… This… this is nothing like before, I know that." Blaine mumbles, lost and a little desperate. _Please forget it. Please forget all about it. Please see me as a normal person. Please._ "I'm not scared."

"I'm glad you know that, but… I'm not so sure you're okay with moving so fast. I don't want you to give me something because you think you should. Because you think it's what I want. Just… just think about it, okay?"

"I… huh, okay… I-I will."

"Thank you." Kurt gives him a fond, beautiful smile

-x-

When he gets back to the common room Sam, Mike and Tina are sitting in a circle, pillows keeping their butts warm from the cold floor, a fragile half-pyramid of exploding snap between them.

"I'm pretty sure I could duck Tina some points for not being in her own common room by this time." He says as way of greeting, and they only grunt in slight recognition, too mesmerized with Sam's barely steady hand and its slow approach to the masterpiece, "Although, I wouldn't have any moral to do it after I just lost points for making out in the corridors instead of patrolling them."

That does the trick, as Sam turns to gape at Blaine and drops the card – Kaboom, it goes.

Blaine laughs while all of them yelp and jump out of range. There's alarm and chaos for a while there. Tina's hair catches fire and she panics and squeals "PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Until Mike douses her with water, and the whole common room seems to fall completely silent with the fizzling and the steam.

"So that was exciting." Blaine mutters, flicking his wand to clean out the middle of the circle, before he grabs his own pillow and squeezes himself between Tina and Sam.

"Oh my god, is it ruined?" Tina is holding locks of long dark, wet hair and Blaine winces at the way some of them end way too soon.

"_Reparo_." Sam mutters, pointing his wand at her ruined hair. Blaine gives him a fond smile and shakes his head, "Worth a shot." Sam shrugs.

"I think Kurt mentioned he's handy with some scissors, if you want…" Blaine offers sympathetically.

"I guess…" She sighs, completely dejected, "We'll see. I think I read an article about this kind of stuff on Witch Weekly the other day."

"Okay, so now that that's dealt with," Sam reaches out to squeeze her knee, fast and completely uncaring, "we can move on to something truly important. What's this about house points and making out?"

Blaine doesn't know if he should blush or laugh. He does both, "Well, Kurt and I got a little… sidetracked during our patrol and Professor Beiste caught us. I think she was more embarrassed than us, actually. She couldn't get out of there fast enough."

"Oh my god!" Tina seems to have forgotten all about her hair, "What did she say?!"

"Well, first she said she should probably separate our patrolling schedules, but then we convinced her not to, somehow…" he pauses because now that he thinks about it that's completely insane that they actually complained to a professor that they didn't have enough _alone_ time, "And then she ducked five points for each of us, and ran away. Like literally, she was _this_ close to sprinting away from us."

"What? Why?"

"I have no idea, but I'm so sorry to have put her in that position…" Blaine says with a halfhearted chuckle.

"Yes, that's why making out is usually done in private," Mike supplies, "So that we don't make other people uncomfortable."

Sam bursts out laughing, "Please, I've lost count of all the saliva I've seen you two exchange!"

"And let's not forget the running tally for the amount of times Mike's roommates walk in, only to walk back out and slam the door shut with the sweet parting words of "Dammit, Changs!" – I think that number is actually in the double digits by now." Blaine adds like he's the host of a lame talent show.

"You're just jealous." Tina says haughtily, "You wish you had something like this."

"I have." Blaine deadpans.

"And I will too, soon enough." Sam shrugs, "If Blaine could tell Kurt to tell Mercedes I'm an excellent catch. You know she's single now."

Blaine grins, "I can definitely do that!" and they high five.

"Awww, look at us… A portrait of young love!" Tina coos, and Blaine squints trying to decipher if she's being genuine or making fun of this whole conversation.

"So things with Kurt…" Mike starts, "They're good?"

Blaine relaxes into a genuine smile, "Yes…" he breathes, "Things with Kurt are pretty fantastic."

"Awww!" Tina coos, reaching out to pet his nose, "Congratulations! You can tell Kurt that we have officially invited you to be part of the very exclusive Cute Couples Club."

"Oh, that's so kind of you, thank you! What are the privileges?"

"Having people who appreciate the awesomeness of a good couple's life." She says, "And maybe joining us for a double date on Saturday… Hogsmeade?"

"Ha! So no extra practice?!" Blaine grins towards Mike, who lets out a really long sigh and shrugs sluggishly.

"Everyone was begging out of it."

"And I was bugging him out of it." Tina adds cheerily.

"Yeah, there was that, too." He concedes, letting her pull him closer and kiss his cheek.

"Cool." Blaine claps his hands, "But I'm gonna have to get back to you on that double date, because it's our first Hogsmeade day and he might have something in mind."

"I'm feeling so excluded from this conversation, right now." Sam murmurs.

-x-

Blaine's lunch is interrupted by Finn Hudson sitting down right next to him – literally _right _next to him. Sam _was_ sitting next to him, but Finn Hudson is suddenly between them, pressed against him thighs to shoulder.

"Hey, dude, Kurt's not here?"

"Huh." Blaine frowns, scooting as far as possible without climbing onto Tina's lap, "No, you need him? I'm not sure, I tried looking for him, but I was starving and have class soon, so…"

"No. I wanted to talk to you alone." Finn says, and Blaine gives his still half-full plate of food a mournful look, already prepared to be yanked out of the table and taken somewhere private. But apparently Finn Hudson's idea of alone isn't particularly close to Blaine's or, well, everyone else's, because he just starts talking like they're not surrounded by at least three more people, "So the thing is, you and Kurt are together, and I always thought you were a cool dude, except for all those months they were saying you were like a prostitute for homework or whatever, but I had my doubts even then, and then Professor Pillsbury had that whole talk about how false rumors are horrible and how no one should ever use words like retard or slut and stuff, because they're super offensive, so I get that it was all lies, and you're not like that. But still, cuz I don't know if you know but Kurt and I are brothers now, so I feel like I need to tell you that if you're like… a bad boyfriend or something, I'll totally kick your ass."

"Oh." Blaine raises his eyebrows, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." Blaine gives him the best smile he can muster through his complete confusion, still trying to wrap his head around Finn's apparent stream of consciousness.

"Cool!" He grins and moves to go.

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Kurt know about this conversation?"

"No! And he can't!" Finn shakes his head, "I mean, I think he'd probably be totally mad or something if he knew."

"Well, that should probably tell you something about its appropriateness, no?"

"What?"

"Never mind. I just… Kurt's a big boy, Finn. He can handle himself. Just so you know."

"Huh-"

"Which is not to say he'll have to prove that, because I – you know what, just forget it. I hear you man, and I'll do my best to be the boyfriend he deserves, and I know he'll do the same for me." He finishes with a polite smile and Finn beams and offers him a fist bump.

When the huge mountain of a boy leaves Tina slumps over the table and sighs, "Ugh, _the talk_. I didn't even know people still did that."

"I didn't either…" Blaine frowns, "And I… huh,… just don't see why he would just… give me the talk."

"Maybe we should go up to Kurt and tell him he's dead meat if he messes with you." Mike grins, clearly not serious.

"Please don't." Blaine cringes with a laugh.

"Did you receive any death threats when we started dating?" Tine leans across toward Mike, who presses his lips together and touches his finger to his nose sheepishly.

"Who?!" She gasps, a mix of curiosity, offense and amusement.

Suddenly Sam clears his throat, "So I'm gonna-"

"_Samuel_!" She gasps, "Oh my god! I can't decide if I hate or love you more, right now!"

"Obviously love-"

"But I feel a need to inform you that women are perfectly capable of making decisions and taking risks on their own, and that they don't need men protecting them or their honor." Sam groans and lets his head fall against the table, "And someone should also inform Hudson of that very fact about his brother, and how it's actually super offensive that he'd think that about his own brother, and how he was subconsciously and implicitly saying Kurt was the gi-"

"Must she always go on and on about this stuff?" Sam groans, and Mike and Blaine exchange an amused glance.

"Actually she must." Mike says calmly, "It's important stuff, dude."

Tina preens, "Thank you for supporting my blazing feminism, sweetie."

"Awww!" Blaine coos and pets her nose. He pauses for a second before he asks, "Did I do it right? Cuz I wanna be a good member for the Cute Couples Club."

Mike laughs and Tina just nods and grins, while Sam gives the most long suffering sigh, "Seriously guys!"

"Oh!" Tina gasps, "There's your boy!"

Blaine turns towards the door and the effort it takes for his smile not to drop at once is heroic, to say the least. He feels his stomach tightening as he spots Kurt entering the Great Hall next to Sebastian, who seems to be doing all the talking, while Kurt wears the blankest stare Blaine's ever seen. When Sebastian seems to be done talking Kurt nods, says something, and Sebastian grins and starts again.

Did Kurt confront him? Is Sebastian denying everything and spreading more lies? Is Kurt going to believe him?

Blaine swallows his dread and gets up from the table, not that hungry anymore, walking over.

"You are a true sport, Hummel, and the team- Oh, Anderson!" Sebastian grins as soon as he notices him approaching, "Coming to get your darling? Worried I'm stealing him away?" He chuckles and tsks with one of his greasy smiles, "Don't even, I promise I'm not his type, and he's not mine._ You_ know, I can't handle high maintenance guys, I like it when they're, _you_ know, easier and, hum, what's the word? Pathe-, hm, lo-, no… generous! Yes, _generous_. We should catch up some time, I feel like we haven't really talked in ages. We used to be buddies, I don't even know what happened. Oh my god, I'm totally keeping you guys. What an idiot! Anyway, don't let me waste another moment you could spend staring longingly into each other's eyes. Bye."

Blaine doesn't notice he's clenching his jaw until Kurt's taking his hand and whispering, "Blaine… are you okay?"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, "I… Yeah. It's… it's nothing. It's just…" he swallows and tries not to feel so tight in his own skin, "It's just the first time we've spoken since… actually… it's not even that because he spoke to me and I… just stood here like…" each adjective his mind comes up with is worse than the previous and he'll probably cry if he says any of them out loud. Instead he breathes, "I'm pathetic."

"No, no!" Kurt gasps, "You're no such thing."

Blaine rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "I am, but that's-"

"No, you're my boyfriend." Kurt interrupts, "You're my boyfriend and I'd never be caught dead with a pathetic boyfriend." Blaine can't help chuckling and Kurt takes his chin between his fingers and adds, "In fact, I wouldn't be caught dead kissing anyone pathetic in public, and I'm about to kiss you, so…" and then he kisses him, right there in the middle of the Great Hall, with probably more than half of Hogwarts student body watching them and wishing they could have listened to the conversation.

Blaine's smile may not be the brightest or the happiest, but it's still ridiculously quick to come as he wraps his arms around Kurt and leans into him.

"I'm going to go have lunch," Kurt says, grinning as he pulls away, "and I'm sorry I was late, and I know you have to get going in five minutes, but you are going to meet me for dinner in the Room of Requirement and I don't care if you have essays to write – you'll write them tomorrow or whatever."

Blaine chuckles, "Yeah, sure."

"So, I'll see you there." Kurt grins, kissing Blaine's cheek and turning.

Blaine catches his wrist, "You know, even if Finn hadn't threatened me with bodily harm, I'd never, ever, ever want to ruin this thing between us."

Kurt frowns, "Finn what?"

Blaine laughs and pulls him back for a real kiss before sending Kurt towards his table.

-x-

"So." Kurt starts as he watches Blaine unpeel the golden dough off the croissant in his hands with a curious amused little smile, "Do we want to just goof off or do we want to talk about it?"

"What's _it_?" Blaine asks while stuffing the dough in his mouth.

"You know." Kurt rolls his eyes and Blaine cringes.

"It was just a bad moment. I don't need to talk about it. Sebastian's a piece of shit. I shouldn't even have approached you two, but my head was spinning with possibilities, and I thought you'd confronted him about me, and that he'd started telling you lies or something-"

"I promised I wouldn't confront him about it." Kurt says slowly, "And he's my Quidditch captain. I can't exactly just cut him one hundred per cent out of my life."

"No, I know. I just…Like I said. Bad moment." Blaine rolls his eyes and puts some more croissant dough in his mouth.

Kurt gives him a sad smile, before he shakes his head and chuckles, "Can't you just eat your croissant like a normal person?"

Blaine can't help smirking, "How do normal people eat croissants?"

"They bite them." Kurt deadpans, even though he's clearly amused.

"But then you don't save the best for last!" Blaine counters, peeling the last layer of dough, shoving it into his mouth, and exhibiting the partially melted, delicious looking, huge stripe of chocolate on a very thin piece of dough. He rolls it carefully, ignoring the amount of chocolate spilling onto his fingers and then puts the whole thing in his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning as everything becomes silky smooth sweetness.

Kurt's voice pulls him back to reality, "That's pornographic, Blaine."

Blaine makes sure he's swallowed the whole thing and wipes his teeth thoroughly with his tongue before he laughs and says, "You should try it. I promise you, this is the only way to eat a chocolate croissant."

Kurt eyes him for a moment, before he looks inside the box (Kurt decided tonight's dinner would be dessert themed – which actually just means eating a lot of desserts) and finds a second croissant. Blaine coaches him through it, more so he can have an excuse to guide his hands, than out of necessity. It's not that hard to peel dough off a croissant and leave the best for last.

When Kurt finally puts the whole chunk of chocolate in his mouth and groans, his eyes wide in appreciation, Blaine laughs loudly and waits patiently until Kurt has swallowed before he crawls over and kisses him deeply. "I like this." He says as he pulls back smacking his lips, "I'm a genius."

"I don't say this lightly," Kurt mutters, leaning back in and brushing their lips, "But you actually are."

They pull back with a wet smack that makes both of them laugh and blush.

"So!" Kurt says, "Any more pieces of edible wisdom?"

"It really just adds up to saving the best for last." Blaine shrugs.

Kurt nods with a cheeky smile that turns sweet, "So we're really not going to talk about it?"

"Do_ you_ want to talk about it?" Blaine sighs.

"I want you to know you can, if you want."

"I don't." Blaine shakes his head, "There's nothing to talk about."

"Okay." Kurt nods with finality, "Let's do whatever else."

Blaine grins, "Let's dance." He hops to his feet and jogs towards the gramophone and the wall lined with shelves nearly collapsing under the weight of towers and towers and vinyl records, "I am going to show you what you've been missing out, locked up in you high tower of magic."

With that Blaine grabs a Beatles record and drops the needle with the reverence it deserves.

He runs over to Kurt and grabs his hands, pulling him to his feet, "_Asked a girl what she wanted to do!_" he sings, and they dance.

They dance. They dance well into the night. Each song that they want miraculously appears on the shelf, right next to the gramophone and they just keep putting on song after song. They sing, too. They sing together and fall in love with the sound.

It must be ridiculously late by the time Kurt puts on a slow song, and Blaine frowns, but Kurt just takes his hand and pulls him back onto the pillows "I can't feel my feet, Blaine. I need to stop. Just… let's just lay here for a moment."

Blaine chuckles but lays down, body in the opposite direction than Kurt's, and head next to each other.

"Do you think if anyone knew how many times we've broken curfew to stay in here we'd be expelled?" Blaine wonders.

"Severely punished, probably. Not expelled."

"Okay, cool." Blaine nods, "Because I'm trying to skip a year, not school altogether."

Kurt's silent for a long while, before he asks softly, "What do people even do if they're expelled? Are they qualified for anything?"

"Well, there's that singer girl that quit."

"Yeah, but she had a plan. And she finished her OWL's, at least. And then she went to the Wizarding Academy of Performing Arts. But what if, you know, one day they just told you, you're out? You're on your own."

"If I was expelled I'd go sell ice-cream in Diagon Alley." Blaine announces, and Kurt turns to look at him, "When my parents and I went to Diagon Alley for the first time it was the first store that caught my eye. I loved it… all the colors. My dad, too. He told me in no uncertain terms that he would only ever be proud of me if I ended up working there."

He glances at Kurt and sees the confused frown on his face.

"My dad was kidding. Obviously."

"Would you be happy? Selling ice-cream?"

Blaine turns to look at Kurt and shrugs, "I don't know. Possibly. I mean, it wouldn't be particularly challenging, but maybe it'd be fun coming up with the flavors and you'd get to make a lot of children really happy. So, maybe."

"I guess." Kurt nods, and they fall back into silence.

This time, it's Blaine who breaks it. Voicing something he spends too much energy on ignoring.

"Actually," he starts, barely above a whisper, "I have no idea what I want to do after Hogwarts."

"No idea? Not even some possibilities?"

"Maybe the problem is too many possibilities. Maybe it's not enough… maybe I just don't have the right possibilities. I don't know. I keep thinking I've got time to figure it out, but if I do skip the year I'll havethis year and the next, and then that's it."

"What about Quidditch? You could do it professionally. Give it a year and there'll be scouts coming to talk to you after the games."

"I guess. But… I don't know. I like it, I love it. I love flying, and I love my team and being there. But I never… envisioned that for my life."

"What _did_ you envision?"

Blaine laughs, and tries not to feel too nervous at the thought alone, "Can I be honest?"

"Of course."

He smiles to himself thinking about it, "Through every dream I ever had, as different as they all were, I always knew I wanted to be a dad."

"Oh!"

"Yeah…" Blaine chuckles, "So you see, that doesn't really help."

"Well, maybe it does a little. What's so compelling about it? About having a kid."

"Plural!" Blaine frowns with a smile, "Come on, Kurt. I'm ambitious." Kurt laughs at that, "I don't know, I just… it's evolved over the years, obviously, but… I guess I look at kids and I want to make them smile, and laugh. And I want to be there for them. Protect them, take care of them. Make sure the fantasy of perfection lasts a little longer, and giving them something to hold on to when it doesn't."

Kurt looks at him for a long moment, eyes a little sad, before he rolls over to his stomach, props himself up on his elbows and says, "And you can't find something where you feel like that's what you're doing?"

Blaine pauses and wonders if this is something he wants to voice and acknowledge, "There is, but… But it's not magic." He smiles, "I don't want to work at St. Mungus and just have them come and go, fixing scrapes or whatever. I want to help with the big things, you know? The big things here." He touches a finger to Kurt's temple and then to his heart, "and here."

Kurt is silent, frowning slightly.

"What if after all of this… After letters about wizarding school, and years learning spells and just… a crazy ride,… what if after all of this, I don't want to use any of it?"

"I… Blaine…"

"Until I was eleven years old I felt completely invisible in my life. My brother he's very… intense, and he kept the spotlight on him. You should see our home videos, it's hilarious." He laughs, bitterness over it long gone, "But then I turned eleven and I got a letter and… well, suddenly I _was _special."

Kurt smiles, understanding and small.

"It's not that it felt like my only source of happiness, but it felt… I don't know, it felt like I mattered. Which is silly because my parents weren't absent or anything. They cared, and they were there. But maybe... you know, maybe they never did a double take on me until that letter arrived."

"Blaine…"

He sighs and closes his eyes, "So what if after all of that, what I want isn't_ this_, anymore."

"I think that'd be pretty special." Kurt says, "Having the courage to be true to yourself, no matter what anyone else expects from you."

"You think?"

"I think so. And I also think you actually know really well what you want to do after Hogwarts."

Blaine can't help smiling at that, and Kurt leans over to kiss him.

"Besides, you don't have to turn your back on this world. You know, maybe there's a reason so many wizards are completely insane. I think sometimes we get so caught up in magic, in thinking we have the secret to life that we forget muggles have been doing pretty good for themselves without it. Maybe _they _know some stuff we don't."

"Yes! Like Algebra! And French!"

"What?"

Blaine laughs and shakes his head, "Never mind."

Kurt pauses but concedes and leans back closer, "What I meant was that maybe being insane isn't just quirky – maybe sometimes it's downright _unhealthy_. And someone needs to do something about it." He gives Blaine a teasing, fond smile, "How's this for unrealistic dreaming? Revolutionizing the way the wizarding community thinks about mental health. Creating a whole new area of studies and expertise for medi-wizards. Changing what it means to help someone and to be healthy." Blaine's biting his lip, letting his imagination run wild and unable to deny the sudden spark of _want _coursing through him. His smile is struggling to keep small by the second, and Kurt laughs, "So, Blaine Anderson, what do you want to do after Hogwarts?"

"Study psychology." He says in an awed hush before he lets himself think twice about it. "I think. Maybe." He cringes and half-groans, half-laughs covering his face with his hands.

"Well," Kurt grins and pries his hands away, "The good news is that you still have two years to decide about it."

"Three years, maybe."

"Two." Kurt says with finality, going back to lie on his back, and Blaine grins.

"Kurt, can I ask you something?" Blaine mutters after a stretch of peaceful silence.

"Of course."

"Last year… what happened with David Karofsky?"

Kurt takes a long time to even so much as breathe. "He was… very confused. And he projected his confusion on to me. He hated me, because it was easier than hating himself."

"He's gay?"

"Yes. He didn't like it. He kissed me once. It scared the hell out of me, because he went from pushing me against a wall to kissing me. I pushed him off, I told him I'd hex the living hell out of him. Afterwards he threatened to kill me if I told anyone, and he was just… really scary." He sighs, long and shaky, "Professor Beiste and Professor Pillsburry noticed parts of it. They tried helping, but he got subtle, and they couldn't exactly put him in detention for looking at me the wrong way. But then, one day Professor Sylvester found me in pretty bad shape, and I told her everything… Next thing I know he's expelled."

"Oh…"

"It's over, and I guess I'm mostly fine. Actually, in hindsight, I'm happy he didn't turn on you, with what you were going through last year."

"Kurt…" Blaine breathes, horrified at the thought of Kurt going through that.

"But I kind of wish he'd used Sebastian as his punching bag…" he adds with a bitter chuckle. When Blaine doesn't laugh, he clears his throat and shrugs, "It's over, it's fine."

"I'm so sorry you went through that alone."

Kurt turns towards Blaine and shrugs with a smile, "I'm not alone anymore."

Blaine rolls onto his stomach and rests his head on Kurt's shoulder, "You're really not."

"You know, I'm glad you asked me about it." Kurt tucks a loose curl around Blaine's ear, "I know all of your deep dark secrets. Now you know one of mine."

With a smile Blaine leans over and kisses him, "You don't know all of my secrets."

"No?" Kurt smiles, "What am I missing?"

_That I'm in love with you._

"That I actually hate cheesecake." He whispers and Kurt gasps like the world has just collapsed. It's the best thing ever.

-x-

The next day Blaine is slightly tired and sleep deprived. Just slightly, and it doesn't matter because it was for a good cause. He doesn't mind that he slept three hours, and he doesn't mind that he has to spend his entire free time that day in the library catching up on schoolwork.

It was a great night, from the dancing to the talking, it really feels like the sort of thing he needed to decompress after all the crazy things that'd been happening and the (hopefully not necessarily crazy) things that would be happening, like the Hogsmeade weekend, the game against Slytherin and the rapidly approaching first round of evaluations.

It's Friday and while he can't really say he'll sleep through the weekend (he can indeed oversleep a little bit on Saturday, which is better than nothing, but possibly not enough), he feels confident that a little sleep deprivation won't affect anything at all.

Except maybe his impulse control when he runs into Sebastian while returning to his dorms, after studying the whole afternoon, evening and even through dinnertime in the library.

He tries to walk right by him, stopping his practice of the Patronus Charm, clutching his books and wand a little tighter and hastening his steps, but then Sebastian wolf whistles and Blaine closes his eyes and braces himself for a whole new level of anger and unpleasantness.

"I meant what I said the other day, we should catch up. I never understood why you stopped talking to me, last year." Sebastian calls after him.

Blaine doesn't stop walking, "Because I hate you."

"Do you? That's a little strong."

"Sebastian, I'm exhausted, and I don't want to talk with you." He halts and faces Sebastian as strong as he can, hand wrapping tighter around his wand instinctively, "You know what you did, and you can continue to be as smug as you want about it – as long as you do it silently. I can't go back in time and undo anything, so just leave me be."

"But I honestl-"

"Can you please shut up?"

"It's my-"

"_Petrificus Totalus._" Blaine watches in semi-shock as Sebastian falls hard against the stone floor. With a heaving chest he tucks his wand into his bag. He breathes deeply before he looks back to Sebastian. His eyes are panicked – the only part of him capable of showing any emotion at all, "H-have a good night." Blaine breathes stuttering, "Excuse me."

He finds himself smiling without even noticing when it started. He laughs.

Having skipped dinner, he's smart enough to stop by the kitchens and eat something and writes a note to Kurt ("Your captain is petrified in the corridor by the Charms classroom. You should probably go unpetrify him. Discretely, please. xoxoxo") and asks a house elf to make sure he gets it soon.

Once he gets in his dorm, he strips down to his underwear and unceremoniously dives into bed and sleeps like a log.

Sam wakes him up a little too early but not so much so that it's offensive, and Blaine lets himself be dragged down to the common room where the Quidditch team is assembled.

Mike was clearly waiting for them to arrive, standing up, "Thank you for joining us in the land of the living, Blaine Anderson, star keeper, even if in your charming underwear."

Blaine frowns before the fresh air directly on his skin registers and he looks down to find himself clad in his bright purple briefs. He turns back towards the dorm but Sam catches him, "Nop." He pushes Blaine towards a chair, "God made you beautiful and perfect, you should embrace it."

Blaine clenches his jaw, and catches Mike's amused eyes. Mike gives him a little shrug and claps his hands together, "So, now that we're all here: I realize that you didn't want an extra practice, and I know many of you think the reason I gave up on it was because Tina said she wanted to use said time to make out. But it is not true. I gave up on it because we truly don't need it. It was overzealous of me, and I guess there are theories that support resting before big games." He distributes smiles around the team, "Now, that being said, I want you to keep your head in the game. Please don't stuff your faces in candy and get yourselves sick, or god forbid, have the brilliant idea to smuggle firewhiskey into Hogwarts and get drunk, or anything else. Enjoy your free time in Hogsmeade, as I will, but do it responsibly. Also, keep thinking about the plays we've been practicing. Run them over in your heads, close your eyes and play everything out. If you come back early get on your broom and fly for a little bit. This is a game that we know we can win, because we have. But we can't just relax and assume it'll happen. I want you all to remember, they have speed, but we have precision. Never compromise that for anything, because they will and that will be their downfall."

Mike gives all of them a good stare and then he focuses on Blaine, "And you. Two things. One, be awesome. Two, eyes on the quaffle, not on Kurt."

Blaine's torn between rolling his eyes and grinning, so he just sighs and nods, "As long as I get to tell you that when we're playing Ravenclaw."

"Ahh, but Tina holds the quaffle many a time." Mike winks, to which everyone laughs, "Okay, you can go now."

"Seriously?" Blaine gasps, "You dragged me out of bed to tell me to keep my head in the game."

"Your upstairs head, by the way." Sam grins next to Blaine with a laugh and extends a hand toward Mike for a high five. Blaine quirks an eyebrow and curls his lip in distaste at the joke, while Mike returns Sam's high five and adds, "And that I trust you to do a terrific job."

Blaine groans, "You could've said that tomorrow before the game, you moron." He stands and goes back to his room, making a point of not noticing who else besides the Quidditch team was in the common room to see him practically naked. He showers and gets dressed begrudgingly – it's not that he's not eager for today, it's that he'd be much happier if today had started a little later and that the reason it didn't is because his team Captain wanted to give the most useless pep talk ever.

It is also why he tells his Captain's girlfriend that she is dating a psychopath, as they sit down for breakfast.

She just smiles sweetly and says, "You're wearing that?"

"Yeah, why, what's wro-oh my god." He gasps as he notices he's wearing a bright pink bowtie with a green shirt and red pants. Not even he can pull that off.

"Maybe you should go change, after you eat. Before Kurt sees you."

"Yes." He nods, shoveling food into his mouth and grabbing another handful, "And you're coming with me to veto the bad choices," he grabs her hand and shoots off his seat and across the hall, "because apparently I'm not entirely sane today."

She protests slightly but ultimately lets herself be dragged to Blaine's dorm.

They come up with several options and Tina talks him into trying each one – for science. He chuckles, but concedes. They're mostly set on #4, simple but cheerful, and she checks her watch, "What time are you and Kurt meeting?"

"He's probably still in practice, and he'll want to eat after that, so we're meeting for lunch in the Great Hall at about one."

"Oh, okay… We'll wait for you, then." she shrugs, "So, will the game tomorrow be super awkward?"

Blaine smiles and shakes his head, "We're not even in direct competition. I mean, we couldn't possibly affect each other's performance, unless he decides to ignore the snitch and starts flying around the hoop trying to kiss me."

"Cuuute!" she points out.

"It would be as cute as it would be disastrous for both of us," he agrees, "Anyway, it'll be fine. We're not children. Whatever happens will be fine, and we'll both give it our best shot. We're not the first or the last couple playing on opposing teams. In fact, there's you and Mike, there'll be Sam and Mercedes soon enough," he says smirking, "and judging from Kurt's account, Rachel and Hudson are on their way as well. If other people can make it work, I don't see why the two of us can't." he shrugs, "You know, he's a great seeker, and it's just another thing about him for me to be proud of."

"I should be recording this, to show him." She says, cooing, "He'd love you forever!"

"I can always just tell him that, and we'll see if it buys me that much affection." He shrugs, "So, we're set on this one?" he asks, and she nods, so he starts putting everything else back in his chest.

"Have you exchanged I love yous?" Tina asks, twirling her now daily braid between her fingers. He blushes, glances at her and shakes his head, "Do you?" she presses.

He blushes deeper and presses his lips into a deep line, barely concealing his smile and nodding, small and embarrassed. She squeals.

"Do you wanna tell him first or are you going to wait for him to say it?"

Blaine laughs, "I don't know, I haven't thought about it, Tina. I just… I think I'm just waiting for a moment when it feels… relevant. I mean, I know every moment is a relevant moment, after all. But still, it's a first time, and I'd like it to be somewhat special," he grins, "I mean, no fireworks needed, or anything. But… you know, one of _those_ moments."

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure."

"Don't overthink it. You want a special moment? There'll be one when you just feel it, and you feel it so much it's like you're about to explode. That's the special moment you need. And it might be just because he smiled."

"Okay."

"And if he doesn't say it back, trust that he will some day. Soon enough."

He laughs at that, "Thanks for assuming."

"No problem. I want you to be happy in your special moments. No matter what, your first times stay with you forever."

Blaine feels his smile faltering, and his mind flashes to Sebastian Smythe sprawled on the floor petrified last night. Some first times he could really do without.

"Tina… Can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely."

He folds his last shirt and puts it away before he sits down with a deep breath, "How was it…? Losing your virginity?"

She seems a little surprised at the question, but she giggles and then she shrugs, "It was fantastic. I trusted him, I loved him. It was awkward, and a little embarrassing at moments, but it was also magical because I felt safe with Mike."

"Good, I- that's amazing, Tina."

"Are you thinking of taking that step with Kurt?"

"I… well, it's not exactly like that. But I… I want to be ready…? If that makes any sense."

Her smile slips a little, "I don't – I… what's not exactly like that? Because you're gay? Listen, it's not as black and white, what's sex and what's not, but that's bul-"

"No, it's… hm, it's not that." Blaine murmurs, scratching his forehead just to distract himself from it, "I kind of… did it – some-, not- anyway, I wouldn't exactly consider myself a virgin. But it wasn't… I didn't… At the time I thought I could trust that person, but I couldn't and it felt like… I wasted something… So…"

"Blaine…" she gasps.

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want you guys to think I was even more pathetic than I already was last year. But Kurt knows, and he's very respectful about it. And I guess… I mean, I know I can trust him, and I do love him. And I suppose that should be enough, but then… I don't know. I don't think I'm ready."

"Then don't do it."

"But…"

"No buts. If you're not sure, you can't do it, Blaine."

"I just… I really, really regret it." Blaine breathes, pressing his back against the headboard and pulling his knees close to his chest.

"Hey." Tina smiles, hand on his knee, "You may not be a _virgin_ – and that concept alone is so stupid and problematic, honey, you should just forget about it – but you're still an amazing person, and whoever gets to be with you like that is insanely lucky. When you do share that with someone, Kurt or whoever else, it'll still be special – as long as you know how valuable you are in it." she scoots closer, prying his hands from his knees and holding them, "You're not food – you don't get chewed up and spit out. You don't lose value with each person you're with. You're valuable on your own, always and no matter what."

"I… I thought I knew that."

She gives him a sad smile, "Sex is supposed to make you feel good, not bad, or guilty, or dirty."

He shrugs, "Yeah, I… I know. It's not like I was saving myself for marriage or anything. I was fine with not being the one true love of my life or whatever. But I'd just… hoped it would be someone good, who made me feel special. And then I just felt so betrayed. And angry with myself, for falling for it, you know? I really couldn't understand how I'd let that happen…"

"You rushed yourself because you thought that was what that guy wanted from you." She tells him, and he doesn't have an answer to that for a long moment.

"And I'm doing it again, aren't I?" he frowns.

Tina gives a reassuring, but sad smile, "Well, the good news is that this time you actually _love _him – you don't just want to have someone who likes you. So, when it does happen, it's going to be totally amazing. But until then, you gotta make sure it's just that, two people being together, nothing to prove to themselves or each other."

He returns her smile and nods.

"So, bottom line. Don't stress yourself too much over it because some day it'll happen and you'll be ready, but, for the love of god, don't push yourself to be ready when you're not."

"Thank you… Thank you. I really needed to hear that." Blaine smiles, "I mean, Kurt's really understanding. He's great about it, he is. But I just… I guess I needed someone from the outside to tell me I'm not crazy."

"Of course…!" she wraps her arms around him, "You're so incredibly not crazy."

He pulls back and kisses her cheek, "I guess it just really sucks when you think you're over something and it turns out you're not."

"You will be."

-x-

"Have I told you lately how fantastic you are?" A voice pulls Blaine out of his staring contest with his empty plate, whispered right next to his ear. Blaine turns to find Kurt slipping easily into the seat next to him, "I laughed like I have never laughed in all my life."

Blaine can't help smiling as he blushes and keeps his eyes on his plate, "Promise not to tell anyone! This close to the game I'd get kicked off the team."

"Of course I won't." Kurt says, "And neither will he. He knows you have a lot more on him, and besides, he'd look pretty idiotic if everyone knew the person he kept slandering all year last year made an idiot out of him that easy."

They exchange a smile and Blaine leans over to kiss him, "I… I adore you."

Kurt's eyebrows rise and his mouth opens a little in surprise, before his expression changes into something affectionate and happy, "I adore you, too."

At that Blaine kind of regrets chickening out, especially because he's pretty sure Kurt knows what he was going to say, and he thinks Kurt would have said it too, but at the end of the day it's not like they don't have plenty of time, plenty of future opportunities to have another go at it.

He grins and kisses him again.

When he pulls back he takes a deep breath, loses the smile and says, "So, I've thinking."

Kurt quirks an eyebrow.

"About what you asked me to think about." He offers and at once Kurt sits a little bit straighter and leans in close, eyes attentive and concerned, "I'm definitely not ready for anything beyond making out. I… I… I thought I was keeping it a secret from everyone else, but really I was keeping it from myself – you know, how much it hurt me, that he played me like that. I was pretending that it didn't happen, and I wasn't letting myself think about it, and maybe that was the wrong way to go. Maybe trying to forget and deny it won't actually help me move past it. So, until I can find some other way to come to terms with it... I don't know…"

"Of course."

"And, you know, when I say I'm over it, I'm not entirely lying. I mean, it still bothers me, but I don't think it'll ever stop bothering me. I just need to get to a point where being with someone like that doesn't remind me of it. And I'm just not there yet."

"I understand…" Kurt says softly.

"But I think I will be, soon." Blaine gives him a hopeful smile and laces their fingers together, "I definitely want to be."

"Well," Kurt puts a soothing hand on the side of his neck and runs his thumb gently over his jaw, "like I said, there's no rush, and nothing to prove."

Blaine lets himself be pulled into a hug, and he returns it despite the slight awkwardness of their positions at the lunch table. He presses a few kisses to the crook of Kurt's neck and squeezes his waist affectionately before he pulls back, determined to move on to better and lighter things.

"So!" he starts cheerfully, "What do we want to do today? Because we have some options. We could go on a double date with Mike and Tina, as per their request, seen as they want to initiate us into Cute Couples Club." Kurt frowns but laughs at that, "or we could go on that date, but make it a triple date, if you invited your friend Mercedes Jones, and I invited my friend Samuel Evans,-"

"Oh, oh! I like that! I really like that – cuz they've been making gooey eyes at each other for a while now."

Blaine grins and nods, "Or we could just ignore everyone else and have our own private date. I've been told that the Shrieking Shack provides decent privacy for making out."

Kurt chuckles and shakes his head, "How about a compromise? We'll start the day with friends, and then excuse ourselves for some alone time."

"You are so smart." Blaine tells him, "Let's eat this delicious food, and then you can go fetch your lovely friend, and I'll fetch my strapping friend, along with the other beautiful couple, and we'll meet in the Entrance Hall. Yes? Yes."

Kurt laughs and nods as he finishes piling food onto his plate.

"So, you're not gonna ask me about my practice?" Kurt smirks.

"No." Blaine beams, "When we beat you tomorrow it's going to be fair and square, and it won't have anything to do with me weaseling information out of you."

"Fair enough." Kurt tells him happily, "But just so you know, it went very well."

"I'm glad. Maybe you won't be _completely_ humiliated this time, and our budding romance will be able to survive this fierce competition."

"What if – bear with me because this is one hell of an if – _we_ destroy you? What of our budding romance?"

"Well, _if-_" Blaine stops to punctuate it with a cheeky laugh, "if that happens, I'll obviously break up with you and never, ever, ever speak to you again, except to insult you in front of your friends and call you a green lizard – which I realize it's not as good as yellow potato, but it's really not my fault your house is kind of badass in that respect."

"Auch."

"Obviously, if you guys win I'll be sad for my team and happy for you. Somewhat. I guess. I'll try. I'll definitely give you congratulatory kiss."

"Thank you. That's a relief."

They finish eating among jabs at each other's teams and then make a quick dash to get their respective friends to meet back at the Entrance Hall.

It turns out to be a great group. With all four houses represented and all of them in their respective Quidditch teams, they do spend the majority of their walk to Hogsmeade poking fun at each other's teams and promising to bring their A game (Gryffindor would be playing against Ravenclaw in another week), and just overall destroy enemies.

(By far Blaine's favorite part of the whole thing is holding hands with Kurt while surrounded by great people.)

"You know, we give Quidditch a lot of importance for a bunch of people who'll probably never play it again after Hogwarts." Blaine points out.

"Speak for yourself," Mike says, "I have every intention of going pro. The Ministry career will have to wait until afterwards."

"That's actually pretty cool, that you plan on doing both." Kurt tells him, "And you'll make it – you're an amazing chaser."

"Thanks!" Mike grins, "What about you? You could easily go pro."

Kurt shrugs, "It's my backup plan, actually." And Blaine turns to him in surprise. Kurt chuckles and nods, "The career I'm after isn't the easiest to get into, but I've always been good up there, flying. My dad owns a Quidditch equipment store and I've been flying since before I could talk, I guess. It's not my Plan A, but I'd still be pretty happy if I got to play professionally."

"That's wonderful!" Tina tells him.

"Yes, and my dad would like… flip out if I made it in the big leagues. I think he'd overdose on pride." Kurt laughs.

"You didn't tell me that." Blaine squeezes his hand and smiles.

Kurt shrugs and there's a little color on his cheeks, suddenly, "It's just a Plan B. It doesn't matter."

Blaine nods and then shakes his head, "No, of course. You're right. Because you're never going to need it. You'll get in that program."

Kurt's cheeks redden completely and he smiles shyly when everyone is chuckling at them and Tina is cooing. "Thanks…" he murmurs, squeezing Blaine's hand and walking an inch closer.

Blaine kisses his temple and then tells everyone else to shut up, even though Tina is already petting his nose and he's letting her.

They agree to have a couple of butterbeers over at the Three Broomsticks and then think about going their separate ways. The conversation is easy and relaxed, and even as they decide to ban the hot topic of tomorrow's game they flow from topic to topic effortlessly – they go from talking about the absolute horror of Professor Tibideaux's class on OWL's year, about which Mike assures them it gets worse on NEWT's year; then they move on to complaining about the rumor mill; afterwards, Kurt entertains them with the backstage details of the Fabray-Hudson-Berry love triangle, and Tina tells them that she's seen Quinn Fabray and Noah Puckerman keeping each other company around the Quidditch pitch one too many times; then they tease Sam and Mercedes for a little bit, but they seem to be perfectly fine about it, and Blaine thinks Sam's been holding her hand under the table the whole time.

It's been two hours and a half, and more than two butterbeers each, when Kurt leans over to whisper in Blaine's ear, "So about that Shrieking shack?"

Blaine jumps to his feet and Kurt lets out a loud bark of laughter, "Excuse us, gentlemen and ladies," Blaine says, "We're gonna go."

Kurt doesn't even say goodbye amidst his laughter and they leave to the soundtrack of catcalls and whistles. They tumble outside still giggling, flustered and happy.

Blaine takes Kurt's hands, pulls him flush, and they kiss. Kurt pulls back and wordlessly starts walking backwards, guiding Blaine up the road, holding both his hands. It's quite possibly the sexiest moment of Blaine's life, and the thought makes him just a tiny bit nervous, but mostly happy, so he grins and laughs as he lets himself be pulled up the street while Kurt gives him his teasing, adorable little smile.

This is it. This is the moment.

"Listen, Kurt, this morning what I really wanted to say was… I… well, I l-" He's interrupted when Kurt crashes rather spectacularly with a third year kid, fresh out of Honeydukes, candy spreading everywhere.

The poor girl looks like someone just killed her pet right in front of her.

"I am so sorry!" they both gasp, crouching down to make sure she's okay, "Oh my god!"

"I didn't see you, I…"

She shrugs and looks at her ruined candy dejectedly, "It's fine."

"Hey," Blaine squeezes her shoulder, "Wait here, I'll buy you some new candy, okay?"

"I.."

"It's fine, it's our fault your candy's ruined. Just wait here with Kurt and I'll be right back."

Kurt bites his lip, clearly holding back some more laughter, and Blaine just shoots him a warning look, before he pecks his cheek and braces himself for the hell that is Honeydukes. It's full to the brim as usual and it takes him way too much time gathering at least double of everything the little girl was holding, and then even more to finally reach the counter and pay for it. He holds off on sighing with relief until he's pushing the door open to leave, only to halt in his movement when he sees Sebastian through the glass door, talking to Kurt, looking way too intense. The kid is a few feet away, clearly undecided if she should leave or wait for Blaine and looking mostly uncomfortable.

He takes a deep breath and prepares himself to open the door. Apparently he takes too long, and is shoved out of the way by a couple of kids who burst through. Blaine notices the panicky glance Kurt shoots, and the slight relief when he sees the two young boys. But what it really boils down to is the trail of sound that makes his way through the swinging door and forces Blaine to hold it that one inch open.

"-when are you going to do it? I'd suggest tomorrow morning actually, you know, just so we make sure the idiot doesn't have time to get himself back together after you break up. We don't want him at the anger stage of things during the game. We want him desperately devastated." Blaine's heart stops. His brain is gathering the puzzle pieces way to fast and it's making him dizzy.

_This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening._

"I was… I… I was thinking now. But you have to go." Blaine's stomach is sinking, dropping, plummeting beyond salvation.

"Now? Hm, isn't that a little risky? I mean – maybe we could try to steal his broom, just to be sure he's really not in conditions to play, if you really _need_ to do it today, but I'd much rather-" Blaine can barely hear anything other than the sudden rush of blood everywhere. He feels like he might actually be on fire and frozen at the same time.

"Whatever, fine, I'll do it tomorrow, just leave, before he comes back."

So this is what an outer body experience feels like?

"Su-"

It's like Blaine isn't even there as he yanks the door open and stalks straight to the kid, handing her the carefully bagged sweets, "Enjoy." He mutters, not even recognizing his own voice.

"Blaine?"

As soon as she has a good hold on it he turns back towards Hogwarts and starts walking.

"Blaine?!" Kurt calls, "Oh my god, fuck, BLAINE!"

He starts running.

"Blaine! COME BACK! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

He runs like he's never run in his life.


	5. Chapter 5

_A.N.: Final chapter, and a huge thanks to everyone who followed, favorited and/or reviewed this! Lots of love!_

**Part Five, With The Third Rose**

Kurt runs after Blaine, he tries calling his name, he tries apologizing, he tries telling him he got it all wrong, at the top of his lungs, but Blaine's sprinting for his life and Kurt's tripped three times already. Ultimately, his foot lands on a puddle and he skids and barely manages to fall on his hands and knees. He watches in horror as Blaine disappears towards the castle.

He pants and tries not to let his body give into the panicked mess it begs to become.

He pushes himself back to his feet and reluctantly looks around. Everyone is literally standing still, looking at him with shocked eyes and slack jaws. He wants to scream at them to fuck off. He's about too when his eyes meet Tina and Mike's and _then_, irreversibly, the panic sets in. They look so confused, but Tina is evolving fast into murderous and Mike's frowning and looking more and more disappointed by the second. Hurt, even.

He looks away, heart racing and blood rushing. It's a miracle he doesn't explode right there and then.

Sebastian is walking calmly, his lips are curled into the most horrifying smirk Kurt has ever seen in his life.

"Y-you… you did this on purpose." Kurt gasps, "You wanted him to overhear."

"How dumb do you think I am?" Sebastian laughs, keeping his voice low so no one else can hear them, "I never thought for one second you'd actually go through with it and break up with him."

"I…"

"You'd think I'd leave the fate of our game in your hands? Please." Sebastian rolls his eyes, and walks around Kurt, down the street.

Kurt is left staring after him with a gaping hole where his stomach used to be. He lets himself drop onto the cold, dirty ground, clutching his hair and finally giving into the regret coursing through him, head between his knees as he stares blankly at the muddy ground and just replays the image of Blaine walking past them with the stupid bag of candies and tense shoulders, taking off in a sprint right after practically shoving the bag at the kid.

After an undeterminable amount of time, Rachel appears seemingly out of nowhere and wraps her arms around him, "Come on, let's… let's just do this in private." She murmurs, pulling slightly at him until he goes willingly, and lets her guide him back to Hogwarts.

By the time he's sinking into his pillows the shaking has stopped and he just feels exhausted and empty. He wonders if this is the start of denial, because there's a voice creeping back into him telling him that if only he had the chance to explain everything it'd be all right. But then the picture of Blaine running away comes back to him, and that voice disappears. He likes denial much more. He needs things to go back to how they were.

"He hates me…" he finally says.

"He… he'll come around." Rachel says soothingly, hand reaching out to squeeze Kurt's, "If he learns the full story, he'll come around."

"I… I'm not sure. Because it might not have been like that now, but it started that way-"

"Who cares how it started? What you feel for him now is what matters-"

"No. Rachel. It does, it really matters. With him, it matters a lot how it started."

"You just need to prove your devotion to him. You just need to… do something!" she gasps and grins, "I know! Serenade him again! That's how you got him to go out with you the first time, surely he'll appreciate it."

It doesn't really hit Kurt until now, "That's definitely not how I got him to agree to it." He laughs bitterly as he realizes it for the first time, "I got him to go out with me when we were completely alone, in a broom closet after he made me be honest and tell him why I even liked him." He can't help smiling just thinking of it, "I told him his smile was beautiful."

"Oh.."

"It had nothing to do with the song, he didn't even like the song. He thought I was insane and he couldn't understand why I was so into him all of a sudden. He knew the serenade was a desperate, fake move, so he made me tell him why I liked him, and I… well... I couldn't exactly just lie. So I told him… I told him I liked his smile, and he said yes."

"Kurt… That's so sweet. And more than enough evidence that you'll be alright! You just have to be pos-"

"Just." Kurt closes his eyes and shakes his head, "Just stop."

"Okay…" She sighs and they let silence fall heavily between the two of them. Kurt kind of wants her to leave but he doesn't have the energy to tell her that. He just lies there staring at the bright green of his drapes and thinking that he finally knows what being a total failure feels like.

Wow, Burt would mighty proud of him.

The thought leaves him breathless and in pain.

"Do you think he's going to tell Beiste?" Rachel asks out of the blue, "Do you think he'll tell her everything and she'll cancel the game and kick you off the team?"

Kurt considers it for a moment. It's not a ludicrous thought.

"He'd have every right to." He shrugs, and she seems torn between agreeing and arguing.

In the end they just spend the rest of the afternoon in silence. Kurt unable to think of anything other than how fast Blaine ran from him, Rachel worrying about the impending cancellation of the game.

It doesn't come. By the time everyone comes back from Hogsmeade the game is clearly not cancelled. Everyone seems to be well aware of their scandalous and very public break up, but no one knows the whys or hows of it, and it appears that those who do are keeping a respectful silence.

Santana slips into Kurt's dorm room and sits on the foot of his bed. She doesn't speak for a very long time. She mostly watches him with an undecipherable expression and then says, "I'm sorry, my advice sucked."

"No, your advice didn't suck at all." He tells her with a sad smile.

"No, it did. I should've told you to be honest with him."

"I should've been honest with him on my own."

She breathes deeply and falls back into silence. Rachel looks between the two of them, clearly lost in their exchange, so she doesn't say anything either.

Finally, Santana opens her bag and pulls out a bottle of top shelf firewhiskey.

"Santana, no!" Rachel breathes, "We've got a game tomorrow."

"It's just a sip." Santana rolls her eyes and conjures three shot glasses. She fills them up, caps the bottle, and makes a show of putting it away, before she hands them around. Rachel accepts hers reluctantly, while Kurt grabs his on autopilot, "Here's to praying that forgiveness is actually a thing that exists." Santana says tipping her glass toward Kurt and looking him dead in the eye.

He gives her a small, humorless chuckle and clinks their glasses together before throwing it back into his mouth. It burns and stings, and it doesn't make him feel _any_ better, but at least the girls take it as their cue to leave.

Kurt pulls the drapes around his bed closed and ignores when the rest of his dorm mates start filing in, having clearly been waiting for the girls to tell them they could.

As he tries to sleep, to no avail, he thinks that there's a big chance Sebastian's plan has just backfired spectacularly. Kurt's pretty sure he's about to play the worst game of his life.

-x-

Kurt almost doesn't show up for the game. He stays in bed, wide awake and staring at the ceiling until the very last minute before he swallows in dry, puts on his uniform and sprints his way to the pitch.

It probably helps that he didn't eat anything, because the moment he walks into the changing rooms and sees Sebastian he's sick. He takes deep breaths and pretends the idiot is invisible. He blocks out the entire pre-game pep talk, especially because he's 99% sure Sebastian might brag and make fun of Blaine. He's clutching his broom so tight that by the time they're stepping out onto the pitch it's a miracle it doesn't break.

The Hufflepuff team is coming in through the opposite side and Kurt's heart summersaults when his eyes land on Blaine. From afar Kurt can't tell much, but as they huddle up in the center for the start of the game, he can see the way Blaine's clenching his jaw and holding himself too tight. He almost laughs, because he was so right last night. Blaine looks like he's about to play for blood, and Kurt… Kurt feels like he's lost most of his blood. He probably looks like it too.

Beiste says her usual spiel about fair game and rules, before she's telling everyone to assume positions. Kurt watches Blaine zoom back towards the Hufflepuff hoops, and then, not ten seconds later, there's a loud whistling and the quaffle is in the air.

Kurt honest to god ignores everything else and follows the quaffle moving though Slytherin hands. They're speeding towards Blaine, and when Sebastian takes the shot Blaine ignores it. It goes right past his shoulder and scores. Blaine doesn't so much as flinch. Kurt gapes and looks around himself. The Hufflepuff players look a little startled, but none of them looks furious so Kurt can only assume they know everything that happened the day before.

Slytherin scores another two times, Blaine completely frozen middair, and then it happens. Their eyes meet.

"Blaine!" Kurt breathes, pleading.

Blaine raises his chin and looks him hard in the eye. His expression is clear. _Isn't this what you wanted?_

Kurt's eyes burn and his throat closes like there's a strong, cold grip on his neck. He shakes his head.

Blaine lets another goal zoom right above his head without ever looking away from Kurt. The Slytherin stands are cheering, making so much noise they're probably making themselves hoarse.

Kurt can't help himself and starts toward Blaine. But the other boy just lets out a loud, humorless laugh and shakes his head, breaking their eye contact with the most acid smile Kurt's ever seen on him. Having barely bothered to look up at the game, Blaine defends the fifth goal in the last split second. He throws the quaffle back to Mike and then shoots off, speeding his way right at Kurt.

It all happens a little too fast. Kurt has no idea what to think, his brain can't work fast enough to catch up and come up with explanations for the fact that Blaine is flying fast like an arrow aiming to pierce. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registers Hufflepuff just scored but he ignores it completely and just watches transfixed as Blaine speeds closer and closer. Just when he thinks he's about to be punched off his broom Blaine goes right past him. Kurt turns around in time to see, barely five feet away, Blaine's hand closing around the snitch. He makes a hard turn and speeds toward Marley handing her the little gold ball without a single word or a glance anywhere else.

The Hufflepuff stands erupt into cheers, while everyone else falls into silence. Every single player, except for Blaine, who's already landing and going into Hufflepuff's changing room, is dead still, frozen in place.

Even Beiste takes a long time to realize what just happened. It's at least two minutes before she blows her whistle and announces, "Hufflepuff wins!"

Kurt can feel tears rolling down his cheeks as he stares at the door Blaine's slammed closed behind himself without even looking back. When did he even start crying?

The game hadn't lasted five minutes.

Kurt had broken both of their hearts for something that didn't last more than five minutes.

-x-

The aftermath of it would have been hilarious if Kurt wasn't so sure he'd never stop regretting this. He's the last person in the changing room, and when he gets there everyone is just standing around Sebastian, watching him in shock, as he kicks every piece of furniture he comes across. The moment he catches sight of Kurt, he starts towards him.

"YOU!" he growls, his face is red and blotchy and there are tears everywhere "What is wrong with you?! It was right _there_!" he pushes on Kurt's chest, and Kurt stumbles backwards, barely managing to keep himself upright.

"I told you I didn't want to do it." Kurt says calmly, even though the sight of Sebastian in tears is making his head spin.

"I could kill you right now. This was humiliating!" Sebastian gets out through clenched teeth, before he takes a deep steadying breath, "You're out. You're out of the team."

"That's fine." Kurt tells him, "But if I go, you go. Don't think for a second I won't tell Beiste what you asked me to do, what you _blackmailed_ me into doing."

"I… I…." Sebastian is completely caught off guard. He shoves Kurt one last time before he leaves running.

The changing room is left dead quiet for several minutes after that, until Lauren says, "So that's the end of his career."

"What?" Kurt frowns.

"His grades aren't good enough for anything else. He'd always assumed his daddy would give him his pick of professional teams. So I guess when his dad was fired he realized he needed to earn his way in. There were scouts in the audience today, and he just made an ass of himself. It's hilarious!"

"His dad was fired?" Kurt gasps. Sebastian's father was one of the big Quidditch names – one of the biggest athletic careers the UK had ever seen, moving on to own teams and direct leagues.

Lauren frowns, "Don't you guys read the news? It was everywhere last summer." She sighs and shakes her head, "Anyway, karma's a bitch. I'm gonna go snatch some ice-cream from the kitchens. I'd ask if anyone wants to come with, but I don't want anyone to come with." She gives them her usual, strange smile before she stalks off the changing rooms, leaving everyone completely speechless again.

"I'm so confused right now." Kitty breathes, but no one bothers to explain. Instead Rachel just takes Kurt's hand and guides him back to the castle, Santana trailing quietly after them, dragging her beater's bat across the grass.

Up ahead, already on the front steps of the castle he can see the Hufflepuff team minus a member, and he wonders if Blaine is already upstairs in Room of Requirement desperate for something familiar, something not completely ruined.

And then he wonders if he's ruined that room for him. If all their dates in there have robbed Blaine of his sanctuary as well.

"I don't think I've ever screwed up so royally." Kurt tells them.

Rachel gives him a sad sort of smile and squeezes his hand. Santana swings her bat across the air and then says, "So, make it right. Get him back."

-x-

Kurt's majestic plan for redemption isn't particularly complex when he writes it down.

1) Explain everything

2) Beg for forgiveness

3) Declare love

4) Ask to try again

5) Never screw it up ever again

However, once he tries to put it to action, it proves to be virtually impossible.

The next two days after the game, Kurt doesn't even so much as lay eyes on Blaine – it's like he's vanished from the castle. On Sunday he'd already figured he wouldn't be seeing Blaine anywhere, but that might be a good thing – he needed time to get his ideas in order and Blaine could probably use the time to cool off. On Monday, however, he'd been expecting to see him in class, but after he tries to catch him after class to no avail he's sure that Blaine skipped every class. At night he patrols the corridors alone. On Tuesday he sits by the library door after class and he's just declaring it another hopeless day when he sees him, flanked by Tina and Sam. There's absolutely no color on his cheeks, and his eyes look dull. The sight makes Kurt's stomach turn to lead.

He almost gives up right then, but he manages to push himself to his feet and clear his throat, "Blaine." he says.

Blaine just stops dead on his tracks, closes his eyes and presses his lips together before he takes a harsh breath through his nose and turns around. Tina and Sam linger only to glare at Kurt and tell him to leave him alone, before they're off jogging after Blaine.

Not two hours later he receives a note from Beiste with his new patrolling schedule, partnered up with Rachel.

It goes on like that for the rest of the week. Each time he spots Blaine he's flanked by his friends, who shoot him dirty looks and mouth "No." at him.

He puts everything into writing. He writes Blaine a letter telling him every detail of what happened. From the crush he had on their third year, to the things with Karofsky affecting his candidacy for the summer internship he needed, to feeling jealous of Blaine on too many levels, to worrying he had no other choice but Quidditch… But most of all, he writes about truly deeply caring for Blaine, and deciding to give up on the schemes.

He steels himself and walks right up to the Hufflepuff table, ignores Sam's hard glare and just keeps going, eyes trained on Blaine. He's interrupted barely four feet away. Tina's standing right in front of him, arms crossed over her chest, "What do you want?"

"I want to give Blaine this letter. I just want to explain what happened. It's not like it seems."

Tina gives him a sardonic, squinty smile before she extends her hand, palm up, for the letter.

Kurt bites his lip. He wanted to give it to Blaine personally, but he knows she'll never let him near and he's sure hexing Blaine's BFF would probably do more harm than good to his case. With a deep sigh he hands it over, and isn't even surprised when she just rips it into several pieces and sets them on fire right there in front of him.

"Right." He nods, clenching his jaw and biting his tongue.

"You can go now." She tells him.

Kurt glances over her shoulder to where Blaine is staring listlessly at his pumpkin juice. The only real sign he's even aware of the situation is the way his leg his shaking under the table, and that's what makes Kurt back off and turn around. Making a big scene is probably the last thing he should be doing to get Blaine back.

Instead he spends his next class writing that letter all over again, and the next day, over breakfast, he watches as his owl, Maria, descends with the rest, stopping right in front of Blaine, who startles and frowns before noticing the roll of parchment attached to her leg. He sighs as he detaches it, and pets Maria on her head and gives her a piece of bacon before letting her go. Kurt's chest bubbles up with a slimmer of hope as he watches Blaine unfurl the parchment, but apparently he just wanted to check who it was from, before he rolled it back up, put it down on the table and left the Great Hall in slow, deliberate steps. He doesn't even look up to Kurt, and the letter is left, completely abandoned and ignored amidst dirty plates, half filled cups and spilled juice.

Kurt doesn't let himself feel the punch to his gut, and decides to take drastic measures. That evening, before dinner he makes his way to the Room of Requirement, sure that at least at some point this week Blaine will go there, and he knows he'll do it alone.

What he's not expecting is to find a note glued to the wall where the door usually appears. It says very simply "Don't."

If one wanted to find a silver lining one might say that, at the very least, Blaine understood him so well that he was always one step ahead. But that only made Kurt feel even worse.

He picks up his quill and writes under Blaine's short message, "Just let me explain. Please."

He looks at it for a long while before he finally gives up and leaves, hoping that Blaine reads it.

-x-

Kurt,

Please stop trying to talk to me. It's hard enough as it is.

This year is important to me, and I can't let myself waste the opportunity I have at getting my life back. I can't do it if you're there at every turn digging the knife in deeper.

I understand maybe I don't have the full story. Maybe there's something that could redeem you. Maybe you really did care about me. Maybe you needed to win the game so badly it was almost justified on some weird, fucked up moral reasoning you must have had. I don't know, but right now I also can't care to know.

The day it fell to shit, in Hogsmeade, I was going to give you one my firsts, the most important one maybe, and I can't decide if I'm glad I didn't, or hurt I never got the chance. Don't you understand how fucked up my head is right now? I want to hate you. And I can't. In the end, I just hate myself. Because I also want you to talk to me. I want you to explain everything, and I want it to be a magical explanation that makes everything all right again.

And all the while I can't focus on anything else, and I have a mountain of essays to write and notes to read. And I hate it that that sentence sounded so trivial – I can't let you unbreak my heart because I have to study – but the essays and the notes stand for something that's defined my life for the last two years and it would be pretty fucking good to finally close that chapter of my life. If I put you on top of my priorities again, I'm not sure what that would say about me.

I've called off the hounds and the bodyguards. I can't stand the way they treat me like I'm made of glass and about to break. But I need you to stop, too. Don't even reply to this letter.

I'm begging you to leave me be. If you care at all about me, just stop.

Blaine

-x-

Hi dad,

I hope everything is okay back home. I'm sorry I haven't written much since school started. It gets busy. I'm afraid I'm not even writing just to catch up. I guess I might just add bad son to my qualifications, right next to bad person.

I need your advice – mostly because you're the smartest person I know, but also because you might also be the only one who won't hate me for it. You'll probably be disappointed, but hey, I'm counting on that unconditional love you keep telling me about.

I broke someone's heart.

It's not one of those breakups where you can say it takes two to Tango and split the blame, because in all honesty our Tango was phenomenal. We started dating two weeks after school started and up until last weekend I managed to go from resenting, despising and disliking him, to falling in love. I know, I know – what do you mean you fell in love in less than two months? I fell in love in less than one.

I genuinely didn't like him when it started. I thought he was a smug, self-righteous goody two-shoes. But the thing is – he was also an excellent Keeper on an opposing team and my Captain saw in him a big threat to our winning the cup. He made me a deal – I'd break the boy's heart before our game so he'd perform badly, and he'd make me Captain next year.

I honestly have no excuse for taking the deal in the first place. I wasn't in a good place. I was jealous, and scared for my future, and I thought it'd make me feel better and vindicated.

It took me one date to realize I'd made a big mistake, but when I tried to back out of it, our deal turned into blackmail. I decided to lie to both of them. I kept dating Blaine, and letting myself fall deeper and deeper for him, and I told Sebastian I'd break up with Blaine before the game, when I really didn't have any intention to. But the truth came up, of course.

The most ironic part about everything is that Blaine actually won the game in five minutes.

He won't talk to me. I tried to explain everything, but each time he just refuses to hear me out. And yesterday he wrote me a letter begging me to leave him alone.

I don't know what to do.

Tell me what to do.

Love,

Kurt

-x-

Kurt,

You're absolutely right. I am disappointed from start to end. I don't understand how the kid I raised would agree to do something like this to another person, regardless of jealousy or bad places. I've always admired your ambition and your resourcefulness, and above all, your ability to never let anyone put you down. I'll always support you and that part of you. But this kind of cunning, shrewd, irresponsible behavior isn't something I'll ever condone.

Before I get into my advice let me tell you your punishment. It's not that I think you need one – because obviously the way you feel is punishment enough for your stupidity – but it's something I think you need to do, _now_. You're off that team. I don't want you playing on a team that would think of something like that.

As for the advice it's really very simple: listen to him. If he's begging you to leave him alone, then that's what you should do. He knows you're sorry and he knows you want to talk to him. So if there ever comes a time when he's calmed down and wants to hear you out, he'll come to you. There's no better way to prove your devotion and love than to respect his boundaries.

Things over here are good, as usual. Carole says hi and sends a hug.

Love,

Burt

-x-

So Kurt decides to wait it out. He writes a new letter, but he keeps it to himself and promises he won't send it until he feels like Blaine won't hate him for it. He stops looking for Blaine after classes, and whenever he spots him anywhere he makes a point of changing his trajectory. He avoids the library, but whenever he absolutely has to go there he sits at a table hidden from everyone else on the opposite side of Blaine's usual one. He doesn't even try to talk to Tina, Sam or Mike. And he doesn't make a big spectacle out of quitting the Quidditch team, even though Rachel thinks that would totally get Blaine to realize how much Kurt truly cared.

Instead he focuses on his own studies, on his friendships, and trying to make something worthwhile out of them.

He tells Santana he's proud of her when she kisses Brittany in the Great Hall. It's not a big kiss – it's not a big romantic gesture. The apologies, the making up and getting back together, those were private and Kurt was there to hear every one of Santana's fears and hesitations and guide her through them. But it's the keeping of a promise and it really does make him proud of her. Especially when she doesn't even waver at the sudden whispers and looks everywhere.

He helps Rachel get Finn, finally. It doesn't take a lot of effort really, because Rachel is such a hurricane Finn is completely head over heels for her before he even realizes what's happening.

He also cheers from the sidelines as Mercedes and Sam's relationship evolves slowly. And while Sam might hate him and refuse to talk to him, Mercedes hears him out and tells him everyone makes mistakes with a sympathetic smile.

It's not exactly easy, watching all of his friends find love, while his own is in shambles, but he sticks to his father's advice. He puts Blaine's needs before his own, and he doesn't falter in his resolution.

He'd never thought silence and distance could be an act of love and romance, but it might actually be his biggest one yet.

The Holidays come and go, and then Spring vacation, and finally the Sun is warmer by the minute, and Spring break has come and gone and he still misses Blaine, and he still wants it – but at least it's a dull ache now, and he can deal with it. When he sees Blaine in the corridors now the boy seems peaceful and back to normal even if a little harried, constantly carrying more books than advisable, and even though Blaine never acknowledges him, at least he doesn't need to turn back and avoid him at all costs. Of course, his hope that Blaine will come around might drop a little bit further with each day that he doesn't tell him the silence is over, but Kurt knows he has to wait it out and reminds himself that Blaine has other priorities in his life, at the moment.

He keeps an eye out for him, though. Each week into the end of the last term, his concern for Blaine comes back full force. Sometimes he'll be looking for a book and from the spaces in the bookshelves he can see that Blaine is spending more time than ever in the library. He looks tired and maybe even a little bored, but more than once Kurt passes by the library, long after it was supposed to be closed, during his patrols, only to watch as the librarian shyly escorts Blaine out because "the library was supposed to close an hour ago, son."

One time Kurt gets lost staring through the shelves, book already in hand, and he has to physically stop himself from going because Blaine is staring at a book with so much frustration there are tears in his eyes. Instead he just watches as Blaine slams it closed and buries his face in his hand for five straight minutes. Finally, he takes a deep breath, wipes his tears away and opens the book back up.

The day after that he looses a little bit of control and leaves class early under false pretenses to go down to the kitchens and get a box of chocolate croissants, which he leaves on Blaine's usual table waiting for him.

He stares at it with apprehension and the complete certainty that it's going to ruin every progress that might have been made, and almost takes it back, but just as he's moving to do it Blaine is hurrying over and Kurt cringes and covers his face with his hands, ducking back behind the bookcase. When the scrape of a chair doesn't come he peeks through his fingers, expecting to find Blaine furiously ready to throw croissants everywhere.

Instead the other boy is staring at the open box in surprise. He just stands there for a long moment before he looks around himself – Kurt ducks deeper behind the bookcase and feels guilty for lurking so much – and then he smiles softly and finally sits down, taking out his books and prompting one up, so he can read as he works the dough off the first croissant.

That's the day Kurt knows everything will be all right. He sits down on the floor, back against the books and the shelves, and reads peacefully. After that day he makes sure to leave little surprises for Blaine every once in while. He's careful to keep them small and make sure it's obvious there's no pretense to them and he always leaves the moment he's sure Blaine got them. One time he leaves a piece of cheesecake and Blaine actually laughs.

_Just wait it out_, he breathes to himself, _just wait it out_.

-x-

The end of classes comes a little faster than Kurt would have liked it, and before he knows it he's following Rachel and Finn towards the Hogwarts Express. He passes a group of loud Hufflepuffs celebrating their win for the second year in a row – both the Quidditch and the House Cups. He can't help looking for Blaine amidst them, but he can't find him. He hasn't seen him since his last day of exams, and he wishes he could see if there was a smile or a worried frown on his face – but he also knows there's been nonstop celebrating in Blaine's common room and he figures, however his OWL's went, he'd want to relax and decompress among friends.

He yanks his eyes away and hauls his luggage onto the train. Finn and Rachel have disappeared without a trace in the few moments he wasn't looking – typical – and so he has the unpleasant task of looking for them (running the risk of wanting to burn his retina afterward), or an empty compartment. He rolls his eyes and sighs as he starts hauling his bag.

He's halfway down the train when he hears a very familiar laugh, and he can't make himself stop in time. With barely any warning or chance for preparation he finds himself looking at a full compartment, Blaine sitting right by the door, Sam and Mercedes next to him. He's laughing heartily, Sam's fingers digging playfully into his sides and making him squirm.

The sight kind of paralyzes Kurt, who should've probably taken his chance to keep moving unnoticed. Instead he stands there as Blaine pushes Sam away and opens his eyes, Kurt's figure drawing his attention at once. Blaine falls quiet mid-laugh, and Kurt's heart stops in anticipation.

Blaine doesn't move for a moment, before his surprise settles into a soft smile and he nods in greeting, "Hi." It's so soft and hesitant Kurt barely hears it.

Kurt has never felt so much relief in his entire life. He smiles back, probably a little too wide and frantic, and Blaine bites his lip and chuckles. The whole compartment has fallen silent, watching them with far more than curiosity in their eyes.

It's more than enough to intimidate Kurt into flight mode, but he manages to at least dig through his bag and pull out his last-shot letter. He extends it toward Blaine, and says, "I'd be very thankful if you read this. When you're ready. No rush."

Blaine eyes it carefully, looking up at Kurt's eyes and studying them, before he nods and takes it, folding it further and sliding it into his shirt's breast pocket.

"Thank you." Kurt says, body shaking.

"Of course." Blaine smiles again, and Kurt's stomach is fluttering way too hard to stay there.

He clears his throat and mutters, "I-I'll go. Bye."

He's already turning around when he hears Blaine's soft, "Have a nice summer, Kurt."

-x-

Dear Blaine,

I've written long letters explaining every single aspect of my actions and what lay behind them, but you didn't want to read any of it and I finally understood it doesn't matter. I'll tell you all of it in person one day, if ever I'm so lucky as to have you asking me about it, wanting to understand it. But that really doesn't matter, because truly, there's no excuse for what I did.

This won't be a long letter, simply because I understand that there's only one thing worth explaining: what happened after I agreed to Sebastian's plan to hurt you so you'd perform badly on the game.

You should know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I changed my mind on our first date. That's when I knew I'd never be able to break up with you like that. From that day on I was in it for you, nothing else. I was never going to go through with it – I had every intention of keeping you and not tell Sebastian I hadn't done it until there was nothing he could do about it. I should've been honest. If not with him, definitely with you. Maybe then, I could've made up for the idiotic moment I agreed to his idea, because I know, even as I write this, there's just really no excuse, and the fact that I didn't go through with it, doesn't really make it any better.

What I'm hoping does is that I truly care about you. I've never cared about someone like I do about you, and I want you. Very much so. Everything I ever said to you was true – still is – and I'm hoping that maybe one day you'll be willing to forgive how this started and focus on what it became.

I won't spell it out, because you wanted that first to be special, and I'm still hoping I can give it to you exactly as you want it. I don't want it to come after the most disastrous mistake I've ever made, I don't want it to be part of an apology. I don't want it to buy your forgiveness, because I know it should be special on its own.

I'm waiting it out, so hopefully you'll find your way back to me.

I'm sorry,

Kurt

-x-

Summer goes by slow, but easy. His friends come up to Diagon Alley several times to hang out with him, and each time they're pacing the streets up and down, looking for something miraculously new to do he wonders if he'll run into Blaine buying ice-cream. He never does, but at least the prospect isn't either scary or overwhelmingly craved for.

He smiles to himself as he thinks it and realizes that this whole thing could very well be described has a monumental exercise in patience and faith. It didn't use to be words Kurt would associate with himself, but maybe he's a little better for it. Even if Blaine never forgives him – or does, but not in the way Kurt wants him to – and he forces himself to move on at some point, he knows this made him a better person. More careful, more caring, more patient.

In the middle of August he receives his usual Hogwarts letter and his mouth drops when it's heavy and the Captain's badge falls out it. He laughs for two hours straight and his father looks at him pointedly over his cup of coffee. When he offers to refuse it, Burt rolls his eyes and shrugs, "Just do better, this time."

Rachel comes over – as she does practically every other day – but today she keeps him company and not Finn. Santana comes, too, and they lock themselves up in Kurt's room and pretend like Burt won't be able to tell they're getting drunk on Firewhiskey shots. It turns out it was the two of them that talked Professor Sylvester into giving him the Captainship.

The next day Kurt wakes up with a splitting headache, tangled up in a mess of limbs and way too many boobs. He realizes it's a rapping at his window that's pulling him out of a very confusing dream. He groans and squints towards the window, cursing everything for the existence of the Sun. All he can see is too much light and he closes his eyes against the searing pain it causes.

The rapping continues and he counts to twenty before he makes himself get back up, shielding his eyes with his hand as he maneuvers through his messy bedroom.

He squints back outside and it takes him a minute to realize he's looking at a big, beautiful tawny owl. He opens his window and the owl sticks its leg inside; attached to it there's an envelope and something that makes Kurt's hands shake as he unties the knot keeping it there.

He takes the small yellow rose with a gasp. While he stands there staring at it, its weight absolutely magnificent in his hand, the owl shakes the letter off its leg and flies into his bedroom, looking for something, picking and pecking at Kurt's clothes, bed covers, books. The rush of wind and all of the racket it makes kind of bring Kurt back to reality and he puts down the rose for the meantime and picks the small envelope up, trying not to completely rip it open.

_Hi Kurt,_

_I heard the good news. Congratulations on the captainship. Fair warning, now we really are in direct competition and I bet my badge is shinier than yours._

_I got my books and everything form Diagon Alley yesterday, and I asked Mr. Fortescue (who turns out not to be Mr. Fortescue at all, but just someone who knew him and took over the business after he died) if he was happy selling ice-cream and he said he had the dream job, which kind of made my day. It also made me think of you (not that that's a rare occurrence). Next time you go there, have an ice-cream on me – already paid for, I promise._

_I hope you're having a really nice summer. _

_I'll see you in two weeks,_

_Blaine_

_P.S.: Apologies in advance for my owl. He's probably looking for food, by the way. Tony is very beautiful, but so, so rude. You'd get along._

There are way too many thoughts about this for Kurt to be able to pick one and go through it properly. The girls are finally stirring awake, Blaine's owl pecking through their hair in his search for food. Kurt snaps back into action and opens the bedroom door, whistling for his attention and then guiding him down to the study where he keeps his own Maria and her treats. After there's food in his beak, Kurt opens the window and the bird flies away without so much as a thankful hoot. Maria looks on, judging everything in silence, and Kurt gives her a smile and a treat for herself.

When he goes back upstairs the girls are sitting up, rubbing sleep off their eyes and yawning.

"Whawrong?"

He shakes his head and slides both rose and letter into his top drawer, "Nothing. Just a really rude owl dropping off a congratulatory note."

They nod and don't say anything, probably not even having heard his response.

Kurt waits until they've left before he pulls his drawer open and goes back to staring.

Blaine made a move. Finally the deafening silence was over. Even if there was nothing about wanting Kurt back in that note, or_ explicit_ forgiveness – the silence was over.

He realizes that if they received their Hogwarts letters yesterday, then Blaine's received his OWL's scores, and he reads the letter ten times over in search for any clues of what they might have been. When he can't figure it out, he tries starting a reply over and over again – never quite managing to reach perfection. He can't try too hard – or he might spook Blaine and loose all the progress he's made – but it can't seem completely uninterested and offhand either – or Blaine will think he doesn't care anymore. He forces himself to stop before he goes insane.

After a full day of dragging himself around the house with the girls, and Burt and Carol giving them self-satisfied smirks, when the girls are finally gone, he picks up the rose and stares at it until he's got something. The rose smells like chocolate.

_Blaine,_

_I'm so glad to hear from you!_

_So it seems that congratulations are in order for you, too. I'm sure you'll make an excellent captain. I can promise I'll root my own captainship on fair play and no shortcuts. (And excuse you, no one has shinier badges them me.)_

_Thank you for the rose, it's so beautiful. If all else fails, you could easily make a living out of selling ice-cream and perfectly scented flowers._

_By the way, you don't have to worry – I can take a hint, and you definitely don't need to reply back to this one (but you also can). I'm just looking forward to maybe finally getting to talk to you again in two weeks. I think it goes without saying that I've missed you, but I'm saying it anyway._

_Until then,_

_Kurt_

-x-

Two weeks later, on the first of September, Kurt says goodbye to his dad and Carole before he boards the train. His dad pokes a finger to where his captain's badge would be once he put on his uniform and says, "Make smart choices."

Kurt blushes slightly but nods, "I will."

"I'll see you for Christmas." Burt pulls him in for a hug, which he reciprocates.

"Love you, dad." He smiles as he pulls back and grabs his bags.

"Love you, too." Burt ruffles his hair and Kurt glares halfheartedly before he turns around and follows Finn who was much quicker at saying goodbye to his mother. He tries not to panic over the idea of running into Blaine at any given moment, but before he knows it he's settling down, surrounded by Finn, Rachel, Santana and Brittany. It's not until he's tying his silver striped green tie that he remembers Blaine's a prefect too, and he'll be at the meeting as well. His stomach ties itself up into tiny little knots, but he can't help smiling at the thought. At least now he can be prepared.

He lets Rachel lead the way toward the prefect compartment, shoves his hands deep in his pocket and looks straight at the back of her head as they walk over. He's two doors away when Blaine's voice trails back to him, happy and carefree.

"I just don't get how come the Head Boy and the Head Girl are both from Ravenclaw! It screams favoritism!"

Kurt bites the inside of his cheek, steeling himself for whatever sight may greet him. When he turns the corner, he sees that hardly anyone is still there. Tina and Artie are going through some papers that are probably the patrol schedules, with shiny new badges on their chests, while Blaine's sitting, relaxed and taking up an entire bench, as he teases Tina. Marley is sitting opposite him, laughing and agreeing wholeheartedly, while a shy Hufflepuff fifth year Kurt thinks might be named Rory, makes himself small in the corner next to her.

Rachel clears her throat and doesn't even greet anyone before she says, "I still think the whole premise of a Head Boy and a Head Girl is archaic! What if there were a second prefect female that was way more suited for the job then the Head _Boy_, and yet, she doesn't get it because there needs to be one of each gender."

Kurt keeps himself from face palming. Besides, he's got bigger things to worry about, like the fact that Blaine is looking at him. He freezes in place for a second, but Blaine's smiling and mouthing 'hi', so Kurt does the same and takes a seat next to Rachel, diagonal from Blaine.

"Thank you for the ice-cream. It was delicious." He mutters – Blaine had not only paid for the ice-cream but left an adamant suggestion for its flavors and toppings Kurt had been unable to turn down.

Blaine shrugs shyly, "My pleasure."

They exchange a lot of glances throughout the meeting, and with each one their smiles grow a little bigger until by the end of it Blaine laughs and stretches his leg to bump their foots together. It's possibly the best moment in Kurt's life – no exaggeration.

Kurt still doesn't know what happened with Blaine's OWL's because while the boy does look pretty happy, he's also not Head Boy and Kurt's sure that if he'd been made a seventh year student, Blaine would be the most obvious, no-brainer choice for the job. He doesn't get a chance to talk to him after the meeting and ask, though, because Blaine's deep in conversation and Rachel is yanking at Kurt for them to leave. He looks back at Blaine as Rachel takes his hands and starts pulling him out of there, and Blaine looks up, winks and mouths something that Kurt is somewhat sure was "I miss you."

He's so startled by the whole thing he doesn't manage to fight Rachel's hold and remind her that she's perfectly capable of returning to their compartment alone, and that in fact he'd be much happier just waiting there until he could talk to Blaine, so in the end, he doesn't realize he should've and could've stayed there until he's sitting down, compartment door sliding shut.

He still wants to know about Blaine's OWL's, mostly, but he also doesn't want to just go around asking anyone else, so he decides to wait patiently for his next opportunity to talk to Blaine.

At the very least now he knows Blaine definitely doesn't hate him anymore and he can't stop smiling.

The Sorting Ceremony comes and goes and Kurt appreciates it only for the fact that it's the last he'll ever get to see. He congratulates the small bundle of young, mesmerized kids and welcomes them to Slytherin with the advice, "Make smart choices." And for once spends the entire meal answering awed questions and trying not to give into the temptation of tricking a few of them. He fails a little bit at the latter.

He also fails at not glancing up to look for Blaine, but it seems it's a joint failure, and he does finally get to tell him the feeling is mutual, pointing at himself and holding up two fingers – Blaine bursts out laughing.

-x-

Over breakfast, the next day, Kurt contemplates his schedule, and realizes that exactly a year ago, Sebastian Smythe had interrupted his musings with an offer that turned his entire world upside down. As he looks at the block of his morning class – double charms, with Hufflepuff – he can't help feeling like, if things go right, he might very well have to thank Sebastian for forcing him to give a second shot at a crush long forgotten.

He folds the paper away and empties his glass before he makes his way to class.

He can't help feeling nervous – this time not at the prospect of seeing Blaine, but at the possibility of not seeing him. If he's not in this class then he didn't get the OWL's he needed so bad. And if that happens, it might very well be Kurt's fault. The only thing that manages to calm him down is knowing that, either way, Blaine seems to have forgiven him completely.

The classroom is full when he arrives and when he can't find Blaine anywhere he feels like going straight to the headmaster's office and demand that Figgins reconsider his ridiculous demands. Instead, he bites his regret and takes a seat at an empty table, waiting for Professor Tibideaux to make her usual grand entrance.

He's looking at the door, watching the clock above it tick by. She always manages to walk through the door at the precise second class is supposed to start. He can already see her midnight blue robes approaching outside the door when a blur of a person scampers through, stumbling inside the classroom. Blaine barely manages to stop himself from crashing against a desk, and he's pressing his lips tight as he looks back at the clock just to watch it tick into place.

Professor Tibideaux waltzes in and gives him the tiniest little smile, "Nicely done."

He's red in the face and panting as he grins, "Thanks."

He looks around the room, for a place to sit and his eyes land on Kurt. He keeps beaming as he doesn't even hesitate, and walks over, taking the empty seat next to him.

"Welcome to NEWT's year." The professor's voice fills the room, but Kurt couldn't care less. "And by welcome I obviously mean you should run."

He's gaping at Blaine, heart speeding right out of his chest with joy and pride, and a lot of other emotions he couldn't possibly put to words. Blaine shoots him a bright smile, still looking breathless and pink over his cheeks, before he's pulling the textbook, notepad and quill out of his bag. He doesn't wait a moment before he starts writing down Professor Tibideaux's lesson word for word. Still, in all the rush and spectacle of the moment, Kurt couldn't possibly miss the way Blaine seems to be absolutely vibrating with excitement.

He chuckles to himself and shakes the disbelief out of his head before he mirrors Blaine and starts taking his own notes.

They steal glances throughout the class, and once Blaine turns his notes toward Kurt and underlines a whole sentence that Kurt had apparently completely misunderstood. To that Kurt can't help snorting (Professor Tibideaux shoots him a glare and he apologizes) and receives a small wink in return.

When they start the practical portion of the class and conversations are allowed (and supposed to be about the lesson, but…), Kurt takes a deep breath and says, "I thought for sure they'd make you Head Boy! When you weren't Head Boy I thought maybe you hadn't…"

He almost regrets those being the first words out of his mouth at the start of their first real opportunity for a conversation, after everything that happened, but Blaine certainly doesn't seem to mind how their first honest talk in almost a year starts.

He laughs and shakes his head, "Are you kidding? After having to personally march down to his office and remind Figgins of our agreement he'd take away my prefect badge if he could. Why do you think I was late? I had to go talk to him, because he still insisted on giving me a sixth year schedule. He hates me!" Blaine shrugs, even though he seems absolutely ecstatic and unbothered by his own words.

Kurt bites the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from smiling too wide, and from blurting out his feelings for him, "So, how many OWL's_ did_ you manage?"

Blaine shimmies in his chair and announces with obvious pride, "Twelve out of the fourteen I took. And exactly eleven Outstandings."

Kurt claps his hands as quietly as he can, "Okay, so tell me about the ones you tanked."

"Well, you were right, it's completely impossible to get more than Exceeds Expectations in Ancient Runes." He shrugs completely unbothered, "And then you were also totally right about bullshitting my way through Divination, so I got a beautiful Dreadful on that one." He says with a grin and then laughs quietly, "And _finally_, of course, there's the riveting story of how I was so exhausted that I literally fell dead asleep within the first five minutes of History of Magic, and got a beautiful little Troll on that one."

"Whaaat…?!" Kurt gasps.

Blaine just keeps laughing silently and nodding, before he pulls a piece of parchment out of his bag and hands it over – "Check for yourself."

It's his results, and just the sheer size of the list is enough to make Kurt gasp. It's almost comical how it says Outstanding so many times that the eye is immediately drawn to the only three that don't.

"Oh, come on, you took Muggle Studies? That's got to be considered cheating." Kurt gasps, and Blaine just shrugs, and then, when Professor Tibideaux squints at them, he produces a perfectly corporeal Patronus.

Every single head in the classroom turning to gape at him.

Professor Tibideaux freezes mid step and then quirks one eyebrow and says, "Twenty points to Hufflepuff."

Blaine blushes and nods his thanks murmuring "I've been practicing this all summer…" with a shrug, and Kurt really, really wants to kiss him. But he knows this whole conversation is, to say the least, surreal. They haven't _really_ talked in ten months, and yet they just spent minutes chatting as if nothing had happened.

He attempts a Patronus Charm a couple of times, not really trying, much too distracted to do it properly.

Once everyone has returned to their mostly botched attempts at a Patronus Charms, Kurt puts his own wand down and lets himself watch Blaine as he interacts with the bright silver medium sized dog, wagging it's little tail while Blaine teases him with his wand.

"Blaine?" he asks softly.

The other boy turns to him, the ghost of a laugh still gracing his features, "Yeah?"

"I_ really_ missed you."

Blaine's smile settles into something a little more sober, and he sighs and shrugs, "I missed you too. A lot."

"A-are we good?" Kurt tries not build too much hope, but it's been building since the moment Blaine wished him a nice summer. It's pretty much a skyscraper by now.

Blaine bites his lip, "What do you mean by good?"

"Are we…? Do you…?" Kurt cuts himself off, frustrated with how difficult it is to voice one simple question, "I still…"

"Kurt, how about we give this a clean slate?" he offers, his expression sweet and earnest, "This is the same classroom we first noticed each other. I think maybe we can do it again, and do it right this time. Back to the start."

"I… You'd want to be with me again? You forgive me?"

"Well, I know the common meaning of a yellow rose is an apology, but I was hoping you'd pick up on the fact that mine meant that I accepted yours." Blaine tells him, a little teasing, "But yes. I forgave you a long time ago, while eating a chocolate croissant in the library. It's just that I had to study and not get distracted by anything else – you're vey distracting, you know that?" he gives Kurt a smile, "And I also wanted to take some time to go past forgiveness and into… where I'm hoping you're still at."

"Where's that?"

Blaine smiles and shrugs carefully, "Wanting to be together." He says carefully, "No rush, though. We should take it slow, but, huh, it's something that I'd love to give a shot at." He takes Kurt's hand carefully in his and laces their fingers together, "So, what do you say? From the start?"

"Absolutely!" Kurt breathes, "I… yes!"

"Okay." Blaine grins, and runs his thumb over Kurt's knuckles, "So meet me by the lake, Friday after classes. I have a feeling it'll make for a good first date."

He doesn't say what he really wants to say, because he'd promised to save it for a day when it was only and solely about that, but today he breathes and whispers, "I _adore_ you."

Blaine freezes for a moment, and Kurt worries he pushed too far – this is probably the opposite of going slow. But Blaine's cheeks are turning red and there's a shocked little smile playing at his lips as he ducks his head and nods.

"I… yeah… m-me too." He breathes, looking around them before he ducks close and presses their lips together, soft, quick, but monumental and perfect. When Kurt can't help chase his lips and kiss him again, stronger, they lose twenty points each and gain detention. So worth it.


End file.
